What would you do?? - Personal stuff.. DEEP!

MY mother has recently been going through a really rough time in her life. Because of a recent breakup, she is having a really hard time dealing with her life and feels she is not "strong enough" to get her life back together. (Get a job, move out on her own).

Any advice I give her goes in one ear & out the other. It is so OBVIOUS what she needs to do. Her depression is getting in the way any logical thinking she needs to do for herself. She is capable of getting a job & making a life for herself, yet right now, she just dont have the mindset to do what she needs to do.

This whole situation unfolded a few months back when she was forced to move back in with my father- whom she was sperated with for 7 years. Things all went downhill from that point. How can I help someone that just dont want to be helped?? If I can hand her the world, I would, but I cant. What do I do?

Message edited 6/8/2007 10:07:14 AM.

Re: What would you do?? - Personal stuff.. DEEP!

would she ever agree to speak to a therapist? i know that u cant call on her behalf, she has to be willing to speak with and deal with her issues. sorry hope it gets better

Re: What would you do?? - Personal stuff.. DEEP!

Posted by ziamaria

would she ever agree to speak to a therapist? i know that u cant call on her behalf, she has to be willing to speak with and deal with her issues. sorry hope it gets better

Re: What would you do?? - Personal stuff.. DEEP!

First some .
It seems that your mom needs to go and see a therapist that can guide and provide support for her. The therapist can also help her to address the feelings she's having and come to terms with it. This is in turn will help her come out of her depression and give her a gentle push so that she can start living her life the way she should. Sometimes those we love would not listen to us but if it's someone from outside that will give the advice with objectivity as well, some people seem to be more open to that.
But she needs to be the one wanting to do this. Just tell her that you think it will be a good idea and have a few names ready for her so that she is on her way to feeling better. I'm sure this has affected you as well and once she starts going..perhaps you can join her as a family group and this will definitely help all of you.
Best of luck !

Re: What would you do?? - Personal stuff.. DEEP!

Posted by SIBride06

Posted by ziamaria

would she ever agree to speak to a therapist? i know that u cant call on her behalf, she has to be willing to speak with and deal with her issues. sorry hope it gets better

Thanks. Im not sure about that. This whole situation has caused me so much stress, I think I need to see a therapist.

Re: What would you do?? - Personal stuff.. DEEP!

Posted by CaseyGirl

Posted by SIBride06

Posted by ziamaria

would she ever agree to speak to a therapist? i know that u cant call on her behalf, she has to be willing to speak with and deal with her issues. sorry hope it gets better

Thanks. Im not sure about that. This whole situation has caused me so much stress, I think I need to see a therapist.

That may be a good idea. He / she may be able to give you some insight and advice on how to handle both your stress and her actions / emotions. And then maybe if she sees you going to counseling, it will inspire her to go as well.

Re: What would you do?? - Personal stuff.. DEEP!

I agree with the posts above mine....speaking to a therapist will be GREAT for her. She needs to work on her self esteem and feel empowered to want to get her life together - a therapist can work with her to help mkae those things happen so she can feel good about herself again.
I know how you feel, my mom went through depression and I know how hard it was on her - and me but with therapy and time she has pulled through it and she is the strongest now than she has ever been! I can't recommend it enough!!!!

Re: What would you do?? - Personal stuff.. DEEP!

If your mom's not willing to see a therapist, maybe you can make an appointment for her with a career couselor.

Re: What would you do?? - Personal stuff.. DEEP!

Do you have an Employee Assistance Program through your job or your husband's? If so, call it and see if you can speak to a therapist about how to handle the entire situation. They'll help you set up an appointment and you'll get good insight and advice.

My parents did this when dealing with a similar depression-related issue with a family member.

Best things is that it's free.