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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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What to do? Bridal shower related
So my BIL is getting married later this year, and his FW's shower is coming up. My MIL asked me to pick up her gift so she doesn't have to bring it from FL, no problem. But she's only spending about half what I planned to spend. My MIL and I have crappy relationship, so I don't want to make it worse by knowingly spending more than her and making her look cheap. So I got a gift from me equal in price to what she spent. Plus I have a gift from Sarah that was not on the registry that is about 3x as much as MIL spent.
Do you think I should spend the additional I'd planned to spend on stuff and put in the wishing well and hope they don't open the wishing well at the shower, do I "accidently" forget the second gift from me at home and give it to her when MIL is not around, or do I figure I've spent enough with Sarah's gift as well. My mom thinks I've spent enough.
If it makes a difference, Sarah was not invited to the shower. She was supposed to be a flower girl, but then after a disaster at my brother's wedding we pulled her out.
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Posted 8/25/07 2:36 PM  |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: What to do? Bridal shower related
If you really feel it would put you and your MIL in a funny place - then I would give BIL and SIL another gift at another time.
Also - I do think you gave enough, since the other gift is really from you and Sarah - you know
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| Posted 8/25/07 2:49 PM |
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julz33
i run for bacon
Member since 5/05 20584 total posts
Name:
julz
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Re: What to do? Bridal shower related
I wou;d just give what I wanted to give, regardless of what MIL is giving.
You could put the gift aside so she doesn't open it - who is throwing the shower?
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| Posted 8/25/07 3:01 PM |
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Tonia
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/06 626 total posts
Name:
Tonia
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Re: What to do? Bridal shower related
Posted by julz33
I wou;d just give what I wanted to give, regardless of what MIL is giving.
You could put the gift aside so she doesn't open it - who is throwing the shower?
I agree. You should do what you feel comfortable doing. If your MIL has a problem with it, tell her that you had purchased the gift prior to picking up her gift.
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| Posted 8/25/07 3:08 PM |
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alnem
This is gonna be a good year!
Member since 2/06 9562 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: What to do? Bridal shower related
Posted by Marcie
If you really feel it would put you and your MIL in a funny place - then I would give BIL and SIL another gift at another time.
Also - I do think you gave enough, since the other gift is really from you and Sarah - you know
ditto
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| Posted 8/25/07 3:20 PM |
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Jackie24
~We Did it~
Member since 7/06 6718 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: What to do? Bridal shower related
i agree that you should just give the gift you wanted to give, everyone has different spending habits and preferences im sure she wont be offended if you spend more, even so thats your choice, i wouldnt hide it
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| Posted 8/25/07 3:20 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: What to do? Bridal shower related
I would stick with your original plans -- knowing what the MIL spent in advance of ths shower shouldn't make a difference.
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| Posted 8/25/07 3:31 PM |
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evnme
My little lamb
Member since 8/05 12633 total posts
Name:
aka momma2b
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Re: What to do? Bridal shower related
Posted by alnem
Posted by Marcie
If you really feel it would put you and your MIL in a funny place - then I would give BIL and SIL another gift at another time.
Also - I do think you gave enough, since the other gift is really from you and Sarah - you know
ditto
i agree also!
for a good laugh you could always watchy ricky's bar mitzvah video to ease the tension!
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| Posted 8/26/07 9:36 AM |
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sunflowerjesss
Mommy to 3!
Member since 10/05 20369 total posts
Name:
Jesss, duh.
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Re: What to do? Bridal shower related
Do you really believe your mother would be petty enough to comment about how much you spent on a gift? Or do you think she'd even realize it?
If you bought a gift from Sarah plus your gift I think that's plenty. But if you feel you want to give a little more just throw some small things into the wishing well. That's what I'd do. It's a little more subtle.
Plus you for want you FSIL to comment to your MIL behind closed doors that you gave an extra gift. That may blow up a whole new can of worms that you were expecting.
Good luck! 
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| Posted 8/26/07 11:20 AM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: What to do? Bridal shower related
Yes, my MIL would blow it up into my trying to show her up. That's just how she is, if there isn't a problem she makes one b/c she's only happy when she's making people miserable. Sad, but true.
If I get another gift, I would just tell FSIL that I forgot the other gift in the rush to get out.
But I think I'm leaning towards not getting anything else since I have the gift from my daughter too, and she's not even going to be there.
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| Posted 8/26/07 11:32 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: What to do? Bridal shower related
I would give what I normally give. My gift selection isn't dependent on what anyone else gave.
I would probably mention off hand to MIL that I got x as a gift & Sarah got y for her just so it's not a surprise at the shower.
eta. if you want to give wishing well stuff do it. Normally my friends & family don't put names on a wishing well gift.
Message edited 8/26/2007 11:36:40 AM.
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| Posted 8/26/07 11:35 AM |
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