Ugh - why can't people be more encouraging?

I told some people this weekend how I want to try my best to have a natural birth - no drugs (I'm no opposed if I need them). Right away its like "hah, good luck with that!". Why can't they just be encouraging - that's great, I hope you can do it!

Re: Ugh - why can't people be more encouraging?

People (mainly family) are doing the same to me.. Apparently, I am to "weak" to go natural.

Re: Ugh - why can't people be more encouraging?

Same thing happened with me last time around. When they told me I couldn't do it, I just said, "Just because you couldn't does not mean that I cannot!" In the end, I did get an epidural which was great during contractions but it didn't matter, when it was time to push the baby out, the epidural was gone.

I think you can do it!! Go for it!!

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I am not even pregnant yet, and when I say that to family, friends, even DH. I get the looks. It is rude! DH says I have no pain tolerance, which makes me Don't let them bother you. You show em what your made of. (tiny cheerleader)

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I know! It's so frustrating. I'm the same way - would like to try natural, but I'lll see how it goes. This one lady I work with keeps saying I "HAVE to take any and all drugs they offer." It just annoys the crap out of me. Like - you did it your way, mind your own business!!

My brother and BIL both keep saying I'm foolish not to take the epidural - WTH - when's the last time they had a baby? Yeah, they watched both my SILs go through labor, but still. My bro thinks I have no tolerance for pain.

DH is very supportive though - so I think that will help me stay strong.

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I know!!! When I tell people this they just I just ignore it!

My hubby and my mother are very supportive though. My mom gave birth to be completely naturally, not one drug and over 24 hours of labor. She is a big chicken and said it was the best thing she every did. Therefore, I have all the motivation I need from my "birth partners"!!!!

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That's why I don't even discuss my birth plans with anyone. I'm not opposed to having an epidural either (had one with my first) but I'd really like to try with out one this time.

Re: Ugh - why can't people be more encouraging?

I had this same concept with DS!!! I will say this as I say to everyone "Don't PLAN anything!!! Birthing a child is probably the most chaotic thing I have ever experienced. Keep an open mind. But I will say this I had a great labor and delivery because I walked into with an open mind. It's not about a THRESHOLD for pain in labor because everyone has diffrent contractions. No two births are exactly the same. Just make sure you have a supportive person in the room who keeps you focused on the end result. As for other people who cares what they think. Honestly after a certain point in my pregnancy I stopped listening because others were making it miserable for me. Finally I would just say well thankyou for the advice or when asked are you getting an epidural I would say "I am keeping an open mind we'll see how it goes" Give a coy smile and a wink and usually they'll leave it alone. Good luck!!

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sorry for crashing, i am not pregnant! but can i just say that when i even hinted at wanting to look into natural births ( I was reading books/watching movies on it ) that the women in my family were so VIOLENT in their reactions against me that it was disgusting. I was told that I would be ripped apart, I would want to die, that I would never make it, that I wanted to be a martyr or a hero. . . they basically teamed up and mocked me. So now, I keep my opinions to myself.

Now, these women are all the "in laws" the women that I am actually blood related to had all natural births

Just take their negativity and feed off of it, make it your strength and you can do whatever needs to be done in the end to bring your baby into the world!

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I have had a lot of people tell me not to try to be a hero or martyr, but my family and DH support my decision to try to have a drug free birth. THey are all I need.

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How frustrating. They could at least give you a chance! I know lots of people who went natural! People I would have never expected that they would, but honestly, I was still as supportive as possible.

Just know we all support you

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I hear you. I watched my sis deliver 2 abbies completely natural. i tell my firends i would love to if i can and one laughs. i think its bc she had a last minute c. people sometimes dont think before they speak. she siad u cant even swallow a pill, how can u go natural. yes i have trouble with it, but i do it everyday bc i have to and what the H*** does that have to do with pushing out a baby.

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The less you tell the better

I knew I was going All Natural - NO Drugs and the reactions I got were that I was crazy, why would I do that, good luck and so on... Even afterward I still get comments like how did you do that, why, etc...

Re: Ugh - why can't people be more encouraging?

They cant be supportive because they werent able to do it and think no one else can either. I despise people like this!

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I wanted a natural birth because epis are complicated for me and had very little support from the people it mattered. My family was supportive, but I found the nursing staff and doctors not to be supportive. They kept saying why dont you want it, it's very safe, this can get much worse and go on much longer. That terrified me and I caved. But the epi didn't work anyway. This time I'm thinking of getting a doula so that I can get through those moments with someone to encourage me and instead of having to fight to not get drugs when I'm already in pain.