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Thoughts? Family/Bat Mitzvah/Invite related
My cousin (she is my stepmother's cousin's daughter, actually, but we call each other cousin....) - her daughter is having a bat mitzvah.
The invite said me, DH, and my younger stepdaughter, who gets along with her.
She didn't invite my older stepdaughter, or Cailen. It's on Cailen's bday, but we could celebrate on Sunday - we are having his party a different wknd anyway.
I wrote on her facebook that we are excited to be there.
She wrote me back that she'll understand if we don't want to come, because it's Cailen's bday and he's not invited.
That annoyed me - it didn't say his name on the invite - why did she have to make an EXTRA point of telling me he wasn't invited?
I don't care he wasn't invited - who needs a 2 yr old at a bat mitzvah - but I am wondering how my older stepdaughter will feel about not being invited. I know the younger one is closer to my cousin's daughters age, and they get along, but it is odd only one was invited. Is it, or am I wrong?
Honestly, I don't care. Cailen will stay home with my older stepdaughter so we have a free babysitter - it's an afternoon party....
thoughts?
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Posted 2/12/09 6:48 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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nbc188
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Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Thoughts? Family/Bat Mitzvah/Invite related
I think it's really odd (and rude) to not invite your older stepdaughter. I mean, we invite lots of people we're not "friends" with to family functions-- I mean, I'm not "close friends" with some of my cousins, but we're still family.
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| Posted 2/12/09 7:05 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14007 total posts
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Re: Thoughts? Family/Bat Mitzvah/Invite related
It sounds like only the Bat Mitzvah's friends are the only children being invited. If that is the case, it wouldn't bother me that my older and younger children weren't invited since it's a party for her and she wants her friends there. I liken it to a birthday party...would Cailen or your older stepdaughter be invited to that?
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| Posted 2/12/09 8:05 AM |
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Goldi0218
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Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
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Leslie
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Re: Thoughts? Family/Bat Mitzvah/Invite related
IMO, a family shouldn't be split. If it is a night time function, I understand why Cailen wouldn't be invited. Being that he is under 3 years old, odds are the hosts wouldn't be charged for him or the MOST they would be charged is half price. They probably don't want little ones around and that's fine. As far as your older stepdaughter is concerned, its rude to not have invited her. Sometime you just have to bite the bullet and pay for someone. She deserves the courtesy of deciding, as an adult (which by her age she would be) if she wanted to go.
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| Posted 2/12/09 8:23 AM |
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Re: Thoughts? Family/Bat Mitzvah/Invite related
I thought it was odd that she wasn't invited - but at the same time, in the past, when Devin (my younger SD) and A. (my cousin's daughter) had bday parties, they always invited each other. At the same time, I'm sure my neice, who is the same age AND her 10 yr old brother are invited, who never comes to her bday parties. But this is my family we are talking about. 
My motto with anyone in my family is this:
"I would drop dead of shock if they ever really did the right thing. So it's a good thing they never do!" 
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| Posted 2/12/09 9:22 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
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Mama Cranky
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Re: Thoughts? Family/Bat Mitzvah/Invite related
I think it's wrong of them not to invite the whole family. I could see not inviting Cailen, I guess, if they weren't inviting kids under a certain age. However, I think it is totally wrong not to invite both step daughters. I would graciously decline the invite.
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| Posted 2/12/09 10:15 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Thoughts? Family/Bat Mitzvah/Invite related
I would not be attending. Totally wrong to not invite older daughter. Why is Angelo invited and she's not??? He's not friends with girl. He's not blood.
My cousins pull things like this. If we are not all invited, we all decline.
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| Posted 2/12/09 10:40 AM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: Thoughts? Family/Bat Mitzvah/Invite related
I agree with Morgan. Maybe they thought your older SD wouldn't want to come? Since your younger one is friendly with her, that makes sense to me anyway (not that I would do it)
As for Cailen not being invited, that makes more sense.
But since it is on his actual birthday and if you don't want to go, I think that is a valid reason without making it into a big deal
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| Posted 2/12/09 10:47 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Thoughts? Family/Bat Mitzvah/Invite related
I would have just declined and said you were spending the day as a "family" for Cailen's bday. But it sounds like you already accepted the invitation, so now you have to decide if you now want to turn around and decline. I'm sure it will stir the pot if you do.
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| Posted 2/12/09 10:52 AM |
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MST9106
My life:)
Member since 6/06 9589 total posts
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Re: Thoughts? Family/Bat Mitzvah/Invite related
That underlining statement was so intentionally rude...as I was reading your post I was secretely hoping that you declined the invitation all together, but you accepted...its up to you but I would have declined from the beginning, over the simple fact that a family should never be split. If its an evening function and no kids are invited, fine, but to invite one and not the other and then to say that it would be understood if you declined, well that tells me right there that maybe they hoped that you would decline all together.
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| Posted 2/12/09 11:17 AM |
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munchkinbugs
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Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
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Lisa
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Re: Thoughts? Family/Bat Mitzvah/Invite related
Posted by nbc188
I think it's really odd (and rude) to not invite your older stepdaughter. I mean, we invite lots of people we're not "friends" with to family functions-- I mean, I'm not "close friends" with some of my cousins, but we're still family.
I agree.....how could she invite one and not the other??? I see why she may not want a 2 year old there. But if my brother (7 years younger) was invited somewhere and I was not, I know my mom would have been ******!
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| Posted 2/12/09 11:23 AM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Thoughts? Family/Bat Mitzvah/Invite related
Posted by MST9106
That underlining statement was so intentionally rude...as I was reading your post I was secretely hoping that you declined the invitation all together, but you accepted...its up to you but I would have declined from the beginning, over the simple fact that a family should never be split. If its an evening function and no kids are invited, fine, but to invite one and not the other and then to say that it would be understood if you declined, well that tells me right there that maybe they hoped that you would decline all together.
Oh...good point.
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| Posted 2/12/09 11:23 AM |
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