Telling people after the BFP

I was talking to DH about this the other day. I was saying I wouldn't want to tell people right away- I'd want to wait for a sonogram picture or at least wait until I'm used to the idea first.

He totally disagrees- would want to tell everyone right away.

I actually wouldn't have any issue telling parents right away- IF they could keep it secret. BUT I know that both his mom and mine would tell everyone (even if they promised not to) and make everyone they told promise not to tell everyone else.

Everyone would know before I got to tell them!

So, now I'm considering not telling FH- cause he's just as bad as the moms - until I'm ready for EVERYONE to know.

That's so wrong and unfair of me isn't it

I know when the time comes it will be a whole other ballgame.

Anyone else have a blabbermouth DH?

Re: Telling people after the BFP

I think we will wait until 8 weeks to tell our parents.

Think of it this way - by the time you find out, you're probably already 4 weeks pregnant! Then you only have to wait 4 more weeks and you'd probably have a sonogram picture by then.

Re: Telling people after the BFP

last time i was PG i told everyone right away and it was the biggest mistake.. this time i will keep it a secret with my hubby until i "know" its safe.

i would wait at least till your 12 weeks

Re: Telling people after the BFP

I agree - I think that waiting is the best thing to do. The first 12 weeks are tricky and I think that it's best to go through them quietly if you can...

We told my immediate family when I got my BFP, because I needed to share it with my mom ASAP & they can all keep secrets. We were going to wait at least 10 weeks before telling his family... they're all blabbermouths & when it comes to babies, I'm a little superstitious & didn't want anyone to know...

Re: Telling people after the BFP

As someone who miscarried at 11 weeks, I wouldn't wait too long. We had told my parents early on - about 5 weeks but didn't want to tell his parents too early on in case 'something went wrong.' Well, when something did go wrong, we found it really difficult to not tell anyone. His parents still don't know and it's very awkward. I did end up telling a few friends about what happened, but it would've been so much nicer to tell when we had happy news instead of sad.

It's a really individual thing, but that's how we felt about it.

Re: Telling people after the BFP

I am on the fence on this one. I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy and EVERYONE knew- we were so excited. It was really hard to tell people that I lost the baby but I did appreciate the support.

I would tell only a couple of close family members that you could rely on should something go wrong. At least until that first sono and you hear the heartbeat. Then the risks go down...

Re: Telling people after the BFP

DH and I wanted to keep it a secret but he was so excited he told everyone.. next time we are going to wait to tell everyone because if god forbid a m/c happens again i cant deal with everyone all over again

my DH is a bigggg blabbermouth maybe next time i'll try and keep it from him

Re: Telling people after the BFP

I told DH I don't want to ruin his excitement (if/when it happens) but I'm pulling Woman rank on this one and we're not telling anyone until at least 12 weeks.

GOD forbid something happened, being the person I am, I would feel 100x worse knowing everyone else knew and having to deal with all that comes with everyone knowing ........
DH says it's bad luck to think that way, but I'm a realist, I can't help it -

Re: Telling people after the BFP

I would like to tell my parents and his after first sonogram. Everyone else 12 weeks.

Re: Telling people after the BFP

I am in the minority. I am telling DH ASAP, along with our work. (We don't have much of a choice with telling work) My parents and IL's will know after the doctors appointment. After that, it'll just be everyone who finds out, will. I don't think I'm going to work on creative ways to tell people for anyone other than our parents and my DH.

Re: Telling people after the BFP

I can't keep that this kinda stuf!!! Everyone will prob know immediately!! Thats just me though!!

Re: Telling people after the BFP

I will tell everyone, that's just me. With DD, I waited to tell my family because I was going to be a single mom and didn't want to hear the "choices" speech since I hade made "my" choice already. When I told them I was 12 weeks.

DH is a total blabbermouth, he couldn't keep a secret from anyone, so I will wait until I have everything ready for everyone.

Re: Telling people after the BFP

If my DH had it his way, he wouldn't say anything until the baby is born!

Our situation is a little different then most here. I cannot get pregnant naturally so we are under the care of a RE. When we moved to IVF, we decided to come clean about it to our immediate family, so they knew when I had my egg retrieval and embryo transfer. Therefore, they all knew when I was going to have my beta test. I did get a BFP that cycle, but it ended shortly after. We had to tell our families that I was going to miscarry. Based on the way certain family members handled that news, we decided next cycle would be just between us. My sister knew what was going on, but I'm extreamly close to her and knew she wouldn't say anything. We decided that should the next IVF cycle work, then we will wait until we see the heartbeat to tell our parents. Everyone else will have to wait until the first trimester is over.

I would love to wait to tell our parents at the end of the first trimester, but they know me well enough to know I would NOT be waiting that long to cycle again.

Re: Telling people after the BFP

I think the only people I would tell right away are our parents and siblings. Close friends probably after the first sonogram. Everyone else after the first trimester.

Who knows though, I have a big mouth

Re: Telling people after the BFP

I think we will wait till 12+ weeks to tell people. I say this for a couple reasons:

1. god forbid something goes wrong -- I think I would rather deal with that privately and with my LIW-ers!

2. my parents/IL's are KNOWN for giving way too much unsolicited advice. I would like to keep that to a minimum and just enjoy being pregnant without being harped on to drink water or eat an apple.

3. I think there is something very romantic and sexy about having a secret just you and DH know -- and this would be a BIG one :)

4. I would want to come up with creative ways to tell my family/IL's

Re: Telling people after the BFP

Re: Telling people after the BFP

My DH will be there with me while I'm POAS.
With regards to family...tough one. I'd prefer not to say anything. If my Mom was around no doubt I'd tell her, but DH's family...that's another story.