Should you let Newborns CIO?

DH thinks that I am picking
DS up to much and that is why he is being fussy all of the time. He thinks that DS is just doing that to get my attention b/c when i pick him up he usually stops crying. I tell DH is b/c he is hungry and might be going through a growth spurt at 2 weeks old. DH doesnt want me to spoil him but I heard that you cant spoil a newborn baby.

What do you ladies think?

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

YOU CANNOT SPOIL A NEWBORN BY HOLDING THEM! REPEAT: YOU CANNOT SPOIL A NEWBORN BY HOLDING THEM!

Explain it like this to DH: Imagine not being able to meet ANY of your own needs and not be able to communicate any of your needs, combined with being out in the open after living comfortably in a little cocoon for nine months. Wouldn't you cry to be held, too?
You need to pick him up every, single time he cries so he feels secure in the fact that you are there to comfort him.

YOU CANNOT SPOIL A NEWBORN!!!

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

Posted by prncss

YOU CANNOT SPOIL A NEWBORN BY HOLDING THEM! REPEAT: YOU CANNOT SPOIL A NEWBORN BY HOLDING THEM!

Explain it like this to DH: Imagine not being able to meet ANY of your own needs and not be able to communicate any of your needs, combined with being out in the open after living comfortably in a little cocoon for nine months. Wouldn't you cry to be held, too?
You need to pick him up every, single time he cries so he feels secure in the fact that you are there to comfort him.

YOU CANNOT SPOIL A NEWBORN!!!

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

Newborns need to be picked up when they cry...it shows them that they can count on you. You cannot spoil them....I picked up dd all the time when she would cry....she is fine...she is able to put herself to sleep now, like she may whine a little in her crib but then she always falls asleep....keep doing what you are doing.

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

you cannot spoil a baby that young. even most pediatricians will tell you that.

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

They don't even have reasoning skills at this age so there is no way they can manipulate you.

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

PIck him up and hold that precious son of yours as much as he needs....you can NOT spoil him by doing this

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

Posted by CkGm

They don't even have reasoning skills at this age so there is no way they can manipulate you.

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

The ONLY answer to this Q is...
NO NO NO NO CIO for newborns...please

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

Just like you and your DH are learning about how to be parents your DS is learning how to live in a world where all of his needs are not met immediately. In the womb if he wanted food he had it, he didn't need comfort because he had it, he didn't need to be rocked to sleep because he had motion. A newborn needs to discover that his needs are still being met. If you allow him to CIO at such a young age you are teaching him the opposite (IMHO).

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

Letting a newborn CIO is not good for their central nervous system, it raises their blood pressure and can lead to other health problems.

Pick that baby up and give her a good cuddle! I had a baby who I couldn't put down for six months and now he is very independent. You can't spoil a newborn! She just came out of your tum and it was lovely and cozy and warm in there. The big bad world is so wide open and scary...indulge her!

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

Never let a newborn CIO. Enjoy the cuddling and the holding. They grow so fast and will start squiriming all around. My favorite part of the newborn phase was just having the babies asleep or resting on my chest. It is so comforting to them.

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

What everyone else said....basically NO...

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

Posted by prncss

YOU CANNOT SPOIL A NEWBORN BY HOLDING THEM! REPEAT: YOU CANNOT SPOIL A NEWBORN BY HOLDING THEM!

Explain it like this to DH: Imagine not being able to meet ANY of your own needs and not be able to communicate any of your needs, combined with being out in the open after living comfortably in a little cocoon for nine months. Wouldn't you cry to be held, too?
You need to pick him up every, single time he cries so he feels secure in the fact that you are there to comfort him.

YOU CANNOT SPOIL A NEWBORN!!!

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

Posted by prncss

YOU CANNOT SPOIL A NEWBORN BY HOLDING THEM! REPEAT: YOU CANNOT SPOIL A NEWBORN BY HOLDING THEM!

Explain it like this to DH: Imagine not being able to meet ANY of your own needs and not be able to communicate any of your needs, combined with being out in the open after living comfortably in a little cocoon for nine months. Wouldn't you cry to be held, too?
You need to pick him up every, single time he cries so he feels secure in the fact that you are there to comfort him.

YOU CANNOT SPOIL A NEWBORN!!!

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

When my girls were in the NICU i was told that you can not spoil a child the 1st 6 months of life..If a newborn is crying it's because something is wrong and you should always pick them up.

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

I went thru the same thing with my DH - and let me tell you, I was worried of the same thing - i didnt want him to be clingy and always needing mommy - especially since he was going to daycare so young, but I held him all the time anyway - in fact, I rarely put him down, and he is the most confident and happiest baby - plus, in daycare, he is everyones favorite because they can put him DOWN and he is content sitting there and watching everyone. I know its because he was held so much that he doesnt feel like he has to cry all the time for attention!

So, pick up that baby as much as he needs.

I will tell you - when he was 6 wks old, there were some nights, as I posted on here, that I had to put him down and let him cry a little after all his needs were met. I had no choice - there were nights I had no sleep, and was doing it on my own. If I didn't get sleep, I'd be no good for him the rest of the day, so there were some CIO moments, but I would say maybe 2 times at the most...

at 3 and a half months, I DO feel he is now just whining for me, and I will have to teach him to spend some time on his own!

Message edited 7/9/2007 6:02:44 AM.

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

NO!! YOU CANNOT SPOIL A NEWBORN!!Everytime a newborn is held their brain grows! They need to know that you will be there for them. You are teaching them that mommy and daddy will be there for them. CIO is not recommended until close to 6 months old. The newborn period is there for you to cuddle, snuggle, hold, and sing to them as much as possible!

Message edited 7/9/2007 6:45:32 AM.

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

I agree with the girls about not letting him cry it out, BUT I really feel like my DD is spoiled. And I feel like my mom and I made her that way.

She is a little over five months and all she likes is to be picked up but only when im standing. she gets extremely fussy and when i pick her up she stops immediately.

I just started doing CIO for sleeping, but if she cries when she is awake and alert, i go to her right away. I feel too bad just leaving her there.

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

I do not run at the first sounds of crying.....Why, because at 6 weeks my DS can already fake cry

Honestly sometimes he just fusses for a half a second & then is over it. If he cries for more than a second & is getting into a full cry then I pick him up. I do not try to let DS soothe himself. He is way too young for that.

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

There are times I let him cry and cry and cry. Their developing lungs need the exercise...in a day they are supposed to cry about/up to 4 hours total (not at once obviously). Sometimes he settles himself back down within a few minutes and falls asleep peacefully for a nap (that he needs).

I know they say you can't spoil a newborn, but part of me doesn't believe that. My son has a hard time falling asleep "alone" from all the times we sat and held him while he fell asleep and after he was asleep. He really did get used to falling asleep and waking up in our arms. Not cool. Friday I sat on the couch for 4 hours b/c every time I put him down, he woke up screaming only to settle down instantly and fall asleep if i picked him up. With my first I was good about putting her down and leaving her alone while she slept...this time I'm a sucker and will even pick him up while he's sleeping to hold him. I think it's from him being in the NICU though and me feeling guilty about not getting to hold him as much as I wanted in those first few days.


eta-so i don't sound evil, i don't let him cry more than 5 minutes TOPS (and usually if he does cry that long I'm starving, it's 2pm and I haven't eaten yet for the day, he's fed and clean and I looked at him sadly and say, "I gotta eat, too"). Like MrsMBV said, if it's a full on cry, I go to him right away.

Message edited 7/9/2007 9:07:16 AM.

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

Studies have shown that newborns who are promptly comforted when they cry tend to actually cry less. My ped told us not to let her cry until DD was 4 months old. We successfully used the CIO method for sleeping at around 4 1/2 months.

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

we never let cadence cry it out... maybe later

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

Just reading some other posts. There is a difference between letting DC cry for a few minutes to see if they can settle themselves, so you can eat, go to the bathroom etc. and letting them cry for long periods of time. I too don't run everytime DS cries because Iknow that he has learned to settle himself, but if it continues for severl minutes I do go pick him up.

Re: Should you let Newborns CIO?

Posted by prncss

YOU CANNOT SPOIL A NEWBORN BY HOLDING THEM! REPEAT: YOU CANNOT SPOIL A NEWBORN BY HOLDING THEM!

Explain it like this to DH: Imagine not being able to meet ANY of your own needs and not be able to communicate any of your needs, combined with being out in the open after living comfortably in a little cocoon for nine months. Wouldn't you cry to be held, too?
You need to pick him up every, single time he cries so he feels secure in the fact that you are there to comfort him.

YOU CANNOT SPOIL A NEWBORN!!!