raising grateful children

Does anyone feel they are having a hard time raising their children to be grateful for all they have in this world?

My DH and I really try not to spoil our DCs. I also talk to them about children/people who don't have the things/opportunities that we are so lucky to have but I still feel like my children don't understand the true meaning of how lucky we really are.

I am feeling very frustrated. I have spoken to some of DCs friends' parents and they don't seem to feel the same but give their DCs everything they want such as video games/ expensive sneakers/ big birthday parties.

Re: raising grateful children

I've found that community service helps with that. When kids help other people, just to help, it sinks in a little more.

My DC have been doing community service through Scouts for most of their lives.

Toys for Tots, Thrift Store donations, food drives, building things for various charities, cleaning up around Lake Ronkonkoma, etc.

I also make a big deal about every time I donate blood. DS just turned 15, so I have a year to convince him to donate when he's 16.

Re: raising grateful children

Posted by GoldenRod

I've found that community service helps with that. When kids help other people, just to help, it sinks in a little more.

My DC have been doing community service through Scouts for most of their lives.

Toys for Tots, Thrift Store donations, food drives, building things for various charities, cleaning up around Lake Ronkonkoma, etc.

I also make a big deal about every time I donate blood. DS just turned 15, so I have a year to convince him to donate when he's 16.

Re: raising grateful children

Posted by noni882

Posted by GoldenRod

I've found that community service helps with that. When kids help other people, just to help, it sinks in a little more.

My DC have been doing community service through Scouts for most of their lives.

Toys for Tots, Thrift Store donations, food drives, building things for various charities, cleaning up around Lake Ronkonkoma, etc.

I also make a big deal about every time I donate blood. DS just turned 15, so I have a year to convince him to donate when he's 16.

I love these ideas. We are involved with Boy and Girl scouts and even though are young - 6 and 8- we have done food drives, making sandwiches for the homeless and a few clothing drives.
During the holiday season we always do toys for tots and toy drive through their school. They both get super excited about picking out gifts for the drives but I find they always tend to then ask for something for themselves as well.

Re: raising grateful children

They're still young to fully understand. I don't think my DC fully understood for a while, either. They are 12 and 15 now, so they have a much deeper comprehension.
If you start now, it will be just a part of who they are, instead of trying to force it on them when they are older.

Just the fact that you are trying to make them more grateful goes a long way.



Thank you! I am hoping that it sinks in a little more as they get older.

Re: raising grateful children

I think it's the age.
DD only cares about amassing as many LOL dolls as she can.
There really is no concept of more important things there yet.
I think as they get older, they "get" it more

raising grateful children

I think it's also important to leave Long Island and show kids that the wealth on Long Island is not typical of the rest of the country. My kids are still very young, so I haven't figured out how to achieve this yet, but I grew up in an impoverished area, and while my family was well off for our area, I grew up with many kids who's families were below the poverty line and it's always made me very appreciative of everything I have. My DH grew up on Long Island and he was shocked when we drove to my hometown and saw the houses that people live in. I think it's important for kids to know that Long Island isn't really representative of most of the country.

Re: raising grateful children

Posted by GoldenRod

I've found that community service helps with that. When kids help other people, just to help, it sinks in a little more.

My DC have been doing community service through Scouts for most of their lives.

Toys for Tots, Thrift Store donations, food drives, building things for various charities, cleaning up around Lake Ronkonkoma, etc.

I also make a big deal about every time I donate blood. DS just turned 15, so I have a year to convince him to donate when he's 16.

Re: raising grateful children

In addition to volunteering with the scouts and giving weekly charity at Hebrew school, my kids see me volunteer at their school as well as the VNA. My kids come help me volunteer for the VNA, and they know that I find charitable work incredibly important. We have discussions about my childhood, and how it was not so easy or luxurious. I try to get them to understand that they are much more fortunate than I was at their ages. I remember having only two pairs of pants in a school year and being made fun of due to my lack of clothing. I have shared with my kids the struggles I went through to help them understand that they are very lucky not to have those same struggles.

Re: raising grateful children

It’s a good question. We’ve done drives. My kids don’t REALLY get it. We will do soup kitchens and the like when they are a bit older. Our schools have community projects each grade.

I always have thought it (being truly grateful) has to come with experience. Not sure how to do that. We mend clothes, live under our means and talk about money a lot. We don’t buy expensive jackets/clothes. But still, they have a lot of STUFF.

In life, I don’t think I was truly grateful until I had to go hungry/prepare/eat dinners for $1-2 for periods of time in grad school when the $ I earned during working in college was burned through. It was a lesson in pride, hunger, nutrition, food pricing, and really sinks in that this happens to people...

Mind you, I had done tons of volunteer work at homeless shelters, soup kitchens, etc.

Re: raising grateful children

Its not only about gratitude its about appreciation.

Appreciation of everything, people around you, things, experiences, the day, your bed, food, etc.

Appreciation is being in the moment and savoring. Feeling good about what you have and what’s around you.

Doing this reduces the complaining and negativity that people/young people do more than ever.

Kindness is my other big one. We do not tolerate any kind of hate.

Re: raising grateful children

Re: raising grateful children

Not spoiling
Making them share
Delaying gratification.. they need to wait for things
Always say please & thank you... they must say it too
Living simply/ not above means
Age appropriate chores.. work as a team.. we clean up after ourselves not expect someone else to do it
Prayers-- thanking God (if you're religious)
We treat everyone the same no matter what their status/job/etc.
Volunteering to help those in need... even small opportunities to help someone
Talk about recognizing how lucky they are to have what they do, not everyone is so lucky

I don't want them to ever take for granted all that they have or think they're better than anyone else. I don't want them to become entitled brats. It's tough instilling that sense of gratitude in today's materialistic, instant-gratification world.

raising grateful children

teaching kids responsibility early on. Not doing everything for them because its easier for the parent or they're not doing it as well. Teaching the value of money. Not buying a ton of toys, letting them earn a toy and pay for it (age dependent too)
I agree with drPepper. Doing for others with out the need for a gc or present in return, the act of doing is a lesson.

I want to add kids learn how to be grateful from their parents. Kids watch what their parents do and how they act.

Message edited 5/20/2018 1:36:17 PM.

raising grateful children

I definitely don't spoil any of my 3 kids, I make them work for what they really want so they appreciate that things are not free.

We also teach compassion and empathy to them - my two girls volunteer all the time and I think it makes them "see" others the right way. One of my favorite volunteer programs is a special needs soccer program - they thoroughly enjoy being with the kids and helping them out - I think they get a lot from it and it actually makes them feel like they are doing something special.