Question for moms of two or more

I know that my second "surprise" pregnancy is a blessing- Matty will be 16 months old when this baby is born....

But I feel sad about it because I am scared I won't get to spend as much time with Matty. I am so in love with him that I am upset that I won't be able to give him all of my attention anymore. Is this normal? I feel like an awful mom to the new one growing inside of me. I just want to be with Matty.....

Re: Question for moms of two or more

It's totally normal. Now instead of one you get 2 to give your attention to. I rarely find myself playing with one ignoring another. We all play together. You will be fine.

Re: Question for moms of two or more

Feel what you need to feel, cry when you need to cry, I know exactly what you are feeling since i went through the same thing. Your feelings are perfectly normal. It took me a little while to get used to the idea of another baby so soon when I already was getting to know a new baby I just had. Gianna was 5 months old when I got pg.

We had a surprise second pg, and my DD was only 14 months old when #2 was born a month ago.

It will get better, try to focus on the positives, Matty will have a sibling so close, he won't even remember what it was like to be the only one and you won't remember what it was like before.

My little one is only a month old and already i can't see life without her, and Gianna ADORES her baby sister.

FM me whenever if you want to talk


Congrats too!

Re: Question for moms of two or more

I could have written that post myself - I was "surpirsed" too and mine are 14 months apart. It was definitely hard in the beginning b/c I was nursing all the time and couldn't give DD as much attention but it does get easier and we do all play together now. My kids LOVE each other and jump up and down in the mornings when they see each other. Its an amazing feeling.

Re: Question for moms of two or more

mine are 10 mths apart and i love it. dd is so cute with her brother. at times it is hard and sometimes i ask myself what was i thinking (ours was planned). But I wouldn't change it.

Re: Question for moms of two or more

mine are 17 1/2 mths apart and I felt the SAME things, and posted about it. I STILL feel like I'm not giving her all the attention she needs/deserves, but she doesn't seem to mind. When she does care, she gets whiney and clingy, but I think that is her age also.

She adores her little brother and helps SO much and even though our "favorite mistake" was a surprise....I am grateful he's here (when he's sleeping, of course)

Re: Question for moms of two or more

OMG - I missed your announcement! Congrats!!!!

It sounds like what you're feeling is normal (even though I only have one - I would feel this way if I were pg with #2.)

Re: Question for moms of two or more

Here's info from another perspective. My mom found out she was pg with my sister when I was 4 months old. My sister and I are 13 months apart. My childhood is filled with memories of playing with my sister- we were best friends.

I am so glad I had a sibling so close in age!!!

Re: Question for moms of two or more

I felt sad in the beginning that Joseph would never had the undivided attention that he once had & that Maddie wouldn't have the attention that Joseph once had.

Totally normal feeling. However they do get undivided attention when DH & I split up & take one. Also I think too much attention can be a bad thing IMO.

I think all it takes it to see them playing together to make you feel better about their decision.

Re: Question for moms of two or more

It's totally normal.... It's so hard to describe, but my first will always be my first, so of course he still gets that extra special attention. My DD also gets it too, in other ways, she is my only girl. I think it just happens and things go well, I love seeing mine play together (although the fights sometimes outnumber the playtimes ).

Re: Question for moms of two or more

Thank you so much ladies! I appreciate the advise so much. I'm trying so hard to think positively. I just love Matty so much that it is hard to imagine loving another like this- I know that I will though.....I just need a little more time to absorb it all. Thank you so much for your perspectives!

Re: Question for moms of two or more

Posted by chmlengr

It's totally normal.... It's so hard to describe, but my first will always be my first, so of course he still gets that extra special attention. My DD also gets it too, in other ways, she is my only girl. I think it just happens and things go well, I love seeing mine play together (although the fights sometimes outnumber the playtimes ).

Re: Question for moms of two or more

ITA with what everyone else said. Mine are 16 months apart too, and I still get 1 on 1 time with both while the other is napping.

Re: Question for moms of two or more

too funny - I thought the same thing about Emily when I was PG....now that Sarah is here and I don't get much alone time I feel bad for her too! I guess it's all normal. I think I'll get more one on one time with the baby once Emily (my older one) is in preschool.

Re: Question for moms of two or more

Posted by sweetness

Feel what you need to feel, cry when you need to cry, I know exactly what you are feeling since i went through the same thing. Your feelings are perfectly normal. It took me a little while to get used to the idea of another baby so soon when I already was getting to know a new baby I just had. Gianna was 5 months old when I got pg.

We had a surprise second pg, and my DD was only 14 months old when #2 was born a month ago.

It will get better, try to focus on the positives, Matty will have a sibling so close, he won't even remember what it was like to be the only one and you won't remember what it was like before.

My little one is only a month old and already i can't see life without her, and Gianna ADORES her baby sister.

FM me whenever if you want to talk


Congrats too!

Re: Question for moms of two or more

Hi, I am in the same boat as you and I totally understand what you are feeling. I feel the same. I am due in Feb and am so worried about having another baby when I just want the time with my son.

According to everyone, it all just works out- the love and attention you give and have is enough for both. It comes naturally.

Actually my friend said she feels bad for her newborn bc she says she spends so much time with her toddler because he needs the time and attention and is always doing things etc. that she feels like the newborn is just like shoved in the corner while all attention is on the toddler.

Re: Question for moms of two or more

i got pregnant with my second when my first was only 11 months old. it was a complete shock and i felt terrible about not having enough alone time with my dd, but you will see, it works out. the new baby will sleep alot during the day and you will have plenty of alone time.

Re: Question for moms of two or more

when I got pregnant with my 2nd child I never thought I would be able to love a 2nd child the way I love my first or spend enough time with both children
but it all evens out
Good luck you will do great!!!!

Re: Question for moms of two or more

- I think all moms feel like you do.

It will be fine - You make the time to spend with both DC... And every day just take a few minutes to spend alone with each.

Re: Question for moms of two or more

I felt the same way when I became pregnant (a big surprise!!) when my son wasnt yet 6 weeks old!
I spent my entire pregnancy crying & feeling guilty because I thought it was so unfair to my 1st baby.
ANd because the only time we'd ever have alone together, before the new baby came, I was too sick to enjoy him.
(Wasnt an easy 2nd pregnancy)

Well, Now my kids are almost 2 & 3...and I couldnt be happier that I had them so close together-
because they may not have a lot of alone time w/mommy, but they have a best friend for life-they do EVERYTHING together...from the minute they wake up till they go to bed at night.Its really awesome!

Re: Question for moms of two or more

Totally normal. Mine kids are 15 months apart and if anything I feel like I don't get to spend enought time with the new baby. My older son commands more attention and because of his age his needs constant supervision. I feel like I only get to hold the baby really after the big guy goes to bed.