omg, SD & BM had a huge fight.......

it was physical, SD reported BM at school. DH is there picking her up now. BM doesn't want SD back in her house, looks like SD is going to be living here starting right now
and the saga continues..................

Re: omg, SD & BM had a huge fight.......

Whaaaaat, physical?? Holy crap I hope SD is okay

Re: omg, SD & BM had a huge fight.......

OMG!!!!!!!!!!

#1 I hope SD is OK (physically and mentally).
#2 it will be a big change for all involved, but at least you know it is the right thing. Good luck

Re: omg, SD & BM had a huge fight.......

Wow, I hope SD is ok!!

Good luck with this new change in your lives.

Re: omg, SD & BM had a huge fight.......

ok, I'm back with more details.
SD & BM got into another one of their infamous screaming fights over a cell phone charger , SD threw the charger at her mother, BM threw a glass of water at SD, SD tried to push her way past BM to leave the room & BM accidentially scratched SD on the chest.
SD decided that rather than calling her father or me she would go to school wearing an especially low cut shirt so the scratch was obvious and tell the school social worker that her mother scratched her!
Naturally the social worker was alarmed & called DH. BM also called DH and told him her side of the story.
Now BM doesn't want SD back in her house because she has another child and is afraid of loosing custody of him if SD reports her again.
Meanwhile SD is in 10th grade honors classes, has too many absenses because BM drives her & they are always late or she doesn't go at all. We live over an hour away & if SD moves here she will need to switch schools, this is a nightmare in the middle of 10th grade.
Of course SD doesnt want to change schools and leave her boyfriend and her friends, however as of right now BM won't even talk to her & told DH again last night she doesn't want her living there anymore!
So this morning DH drove her 55 miles in traffic to school, then he drove back 80 miles to work. Today I'll drive out and get her after school & we'll do the same tomorrow, but by next week we will need to make a move.
I don't want SD living in an unsafe environment, however I think that her behavior is a big part of the problem and her & BM both need therapy to learn how to have a functional relationship. Something DH has insisted upon for years, they go a few times & then stop because they don't like the therapist.
I just know making her change schools mid-year is going to cause such turmoil in her life, I fear she will drop out.
I have been pushing for her to live with us since 9th grade and that would have been the best time to make the transition, even waiting till the end of this year would be better. She's floundering around there in an "excellent" school district because she isn't getting the positive influence at home to excel. I'm sure if she was in our "average" school district with us pushing & supporting her since 9th grade she'd be Valedictorian. That's what she capable of & she's wasting it. She's getting 80's in honors chemistry without even studying or trying.
I just don't know what's going to happen, its a train wreck either way.
I'm sure there will be more to the story, I will update again soon.

Re: omg, SD & BM had a huge fight.......

Wow! That is a lot to deal with! Is this what I have to look forward to with my 10 year old SD? Teenage girls can be such beasts!

Therapy sounds like a great idea. It sounds like communication skills are in desperate need over there. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. This must be very stressful for you. Good luck.

Re: omg, SD & BM had a huge fight.......

wow sorry you are going through this. I'm not sure that you can side with either of them. I can understand BM being nervous about losing custody of her other child. I know how hard it would be to change schools but it sounds like her behavior prompted this. Its horrible that you and DH now have to drive so much. Maybe after a few days BM will calm down and take her in again and SD wiil behave so that she doesn't have to switch schools.