Neighbor Issue?

The woman who lives diagonally across the street from me...mid 30's a few kids...when we first moved in (less than a year ago), caught me outside and gave me her phone number and told me if I ever needed anything to call. I never did...that's just me, I feel funny. But, whenever I see her outside, I wave and say hello, small chit chat here and there. The last few weeks I noticed that when I would see her outside, she wouldn't look at me. I would try to catch her eye to wave and say hello, but I never could, it seems she would look away. I thought maybe I imagined it.

Fast forward to Wednesday. We are having our driveway done, and they were here to put down more gravel so there was a big truck parked in front of my house. I had just come home from food shopping and had a ton of pkgs, so I parked across the street to run some in (not in front of her house). Granted, our street isn't the widest, but there was enough room for anyone to get through. I am halfway up my lawn carrying 4 pkgs when I hear, "excuse me, excuuuuuuuuuuuuuussssse meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee". I turn around and its her in her car just pullling through that space. Then she says, "why don't you park your car in front of my house when the trucks are here so."...and then I cut her off and said, "oh, I will, I just wanted to run some pkgs in...thanks". And as I am still talking she just shrugs her shoulders and drives off. I am like W T F???

Now, I have been taking more notice...yesterday I was outside and she passed my house in her car looking stoically forward, pulled into her driveway, got out of the car, and walked straight into the house, not even looking back. Same thing this morning. Usually she would wave and yell hi, so I wasn't imagining it the last few weeks. I have no clue what I did.

So, my question is (if you're still reading), what should I do? The last thing I want is to be on bad terms with the neighbors, especially since we having a small party Tuesday. Should I just ignore her? Keep trying to catch her eye and wave? Or should I wait till I see her outside and ask her if there is a problem? I just don't want to get into an argument.... and I'm not quite sure how I should approach her....or if at all.

Any advice would be appreciated!

Re: Neighbor Issue?

I would bake something and take it over there. who knows... it could be anything. I get paranoid like that too though. and I agree w/you that you definitely want to remain on good terms w/your neighbors!!

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I wouldn't say anything but I might offer a little good will gesture. Maybe buy an extra plant and bring it over because you "thought she might like it" or bring over cookies.

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See, I feel funny doing that...then I feel like I have to do it for all the other neighbors.

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I actually think it was nice of her to say to park in front of her house. A lot of people are sometimes uncomfortable doing that -- granted her timing was off.


For the rest of it, I am probably the wrong person to reply since DH says I am the Jamie Buchman of our building, but I would let it go. I don't think I would ignore her - I would wave or say hi, but I wouldn't extend myself and offer gifts to get back in her good graces.

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Well some days when I am working in the yard or just getting home from a rough day I just want to go inside and not talk to anyone. It doesn't mean I don't like them. We're on hello and wave basis, and minor chit chat with most neighbors.

I could also see if there's something going on that you don't know about say family problem or illness she may not want to be social. Or maybe she's jealous of you (we experienced a bit of that as our entire neighborhood made a huge deal about how much we paid)

I wouldn't hold it against her unless she becomes nasty.

I really like the idea of a kind gesture that other posters mentioned.

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First I would ask her what went up her butt and died!

Just Kidding

Maybe I would try to ask her if she would like to stop by at your party on tuesday and maybe that would start a conversation and maybe she will bring something up to you about what is her problem!!

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I am sort of torn on this one. While I would want to know if I did something to offend the woman, I would be a little nervous about approaching the topic. I have found that some people who are overly friendly when I first meet them, are sometimes very needy. From the way you describe this, it sounds like she is annoyed that you aren't interested in becoming her new friend and is snubbing you because she is mad about it.

I think I would leave it alone and just continue to wave and be friendly. Either she gets over it or she doesn't. I have found sometimes when I ask someone who is very needy "what's wrong?" I get sucked into their drama. Maybe that sounds cold, but I am not sure I would want to get that involved with this person, JMO.

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It sounds like she's lonely and really, really wants to be friends with you. And it also seems like she is easily offended. I don't know if there is a lot you can do.

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I would maybe approach her and ask her if she is upset at something?

I definitely agree with everyone that she was probably looking for you to become her bestest new buddy. You want to be on good terms but you also don't want to open the pandora's box like I did of having my neighbors living in my house (walking in unnanounced, etc.) because they felt so "comfortable" Sometimes, silence is better

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Thanks everyone

My Dh had a good idea. They had topsoil delivered a while ago, and we need to get some now, so I'm going to try to catch her outside and ask her where she got it from and how much it was, just to see how she reacts.

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I have a neighbor who lives across the street from me who is exactly like that. He has lived there for at least 7 years and we were always on polite terms. Whenever he saw me, we would always hold a conversation. I saw the inside of his home when he was building an addition. Everything was fine until last year. I don't know what happened, but, now he doesn't even speak to me. For example, I went to move my car from the street in front of my house into my driveway and he was standing at the curb watering his grass. He was facing toward my house. When he saw
me he turned his back to me and wouldn't turn around again until I went inside. On the other hand, when I am with my husband, he will say hello.

I don't know what I did and I don't really care.
I know I didn't do anything to insult him and if he isn't man enough to say something to me, than so be it. If he wants to act like a total jerk, that's his problem. I have far more important things to worry about in my life than some neighbor who has a bug up his a**.

Message edited 6/30/2006 8:00:23 PM.

Re: Neighbor Issue?

By reading this I saw a few key things that MAYBE if I were playing her role I would say MIGHT have offended her. When she told you that you could park in front of her house it seemed quick that you said let me put my pkgs down and MAYBE didnt talk to her etc... Maybe when shes outside shes waiting for you to approach her and maybe when shes driving she assumes you dont have the time. You seem like me. The type to be on the go and thinking about whats got to get done. Maybe shes more of the lets talk for an hr, lets have a cup of coffee type of person. Both are okay but I wouldnt let it interfere with what you need to get done. Maybe when you get a chance invite her in for that cup of coffee or talk to her outside. Who knows maybe theres a middleground.

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It sounds like she's afraid of you.

Can you throw a tupperware party and invite the neighborhood (so she doesn't feel uncomfortable hanging out with you alone)????