Need to majorly complain/vent/get encouragement

I'll try to keep this from being 12 pages long.

I'm feeling so anxious and paralyzed right now. I have less than one month left of school, but I've missed a lot of class and rehearsal. First my allergies were killer, but I was dealing, then I got a stomach bug, then migraines for over a week, and then yesterday we had that little fire and I've been having some problems from the smoke inhalation.

When I miss school it makes it harder to get back into it and I get paralyzing anxiety over it. I have work to do tonight and I just can't get myself to sit down and do it, plus it's hard to concentrate with these stupid headaches, coughs, nausea, etc. but I think the biggest problem is stress. I have a condition fibromyalgia, and I'm sort of feeling like I'm having a flare up, whcih could be part of where the migraines are coming from. I'm starting to get a lot of muscular pain, etc. When I'm under a lot fo stress, my body goes haywire, and the outside stuff (smoke, allergies, virus) haven't helped.

Also, I have this internship that I sort of hate. I don't know why I hate it, but I've missed a lot of it because if I'm sick and need to see a doc, or I need to write a paper, or have a job interview, I have to sacrifice the internship and not class or rehearsal..my schedule is packed THAT tight that I'm booked from 8am-9am every day, including weekends. Since I've been there so infrequently, I feel bad when I do fo b/c I feel like a bad intern. So it just makes me so stressed at the idea of going. I have a sense of foreboding now because I have to go on friday. B/c of beign sick I fell off going to the gym, and I just feel so overwhelmed.

I'm also overwhelmed about the job search. I think I have to stop until after I graduate. it's too stressful, and I've had a lot of people tell me my resume ***** and pressuring me to change it, ut they're not giving me any constructive advice. I haven't even MADE my theatre resume at all, which is what I really NEED to do. I just feel so overwhelmed and afraid. I'm even afraid to ask my professors for help b/c I feel like I don't deserve it b/c I've missed so much class/rehearsal.

I have a lot fo school work I should be doing tonight, but I'm just...frozen. I need some encouragment. I know I'm whining and I apologize. I have a lot of good things in my life. If I can get back on track I'll graduate in May with honors and 5 directing credits on my resume. I have a wonderful, supportive, caring and loving DH and family. I'm planning a graduation party, and it's spring! I'm just feeling down and I need some encouragement and advice.

Sorry to be the board crybaby today!

ETA: I'm making it sound like I missed months. I've missed a little less than a week of class and rehearsal..but the classes are participation heavy and i'm co-directing the play

Message edited 4/26/2006 9:37:15 PM.

Re: Need to majorly complain/vent/get encouragement

DH is going thru the same thing. He is so overwhelmed, feels like he worked too much over Spring Break instead of writing papers. But you are in the home stretch!!! just jump back in and know that you are there. you are so there

Re: Need to majorly complain/vent/get encouragement

Don't worry..... I know things can be overwhelming.. try to take a step back if you can and tackle each thing one step at a time... Do something positive for yourself, get a manicure, go for a walk... do something you enjoy to rejuvinate yourself!! we;re always here to listen

Re: Need to majorly complain/vent/get encouragement

Posted by Janice

DH is going thru the same thing. He is so overwhelmed, feels like he worked too much over Spring Break instead of writing papers. But you are in the home stretch!!! just jump back in and know that you are there. you are so there

Re: Need to majorly complain/vent/get encouragement

The home stretch is always stressful...

you will make it through...

Have a slice of cheese with that cracker and then hit the books!

Re: Need to majorly complain/vent/get encouragement

I know how overwhelming it is!

As for the resume, try going to the career center - my mom works at one and the advisors there helped me a LOT last year with mine.

Good luck!

Re: Need to majorly complain/vent/get encouragement

You sound very familiar to me when I was graduating from school. For me, graduating college was WAY more anxiety provoking than graduating high school because I didn't really have a plan for after college. I was looking for jobs and realized that there was really NOTHING for someone with a degree in music performance to do. I didn't want to teach, and I had very painful injuries that were keeping me from seriously auditioning for orchestras and other performing groups. So I totally understand the stress that you're under.
It's so hard when you're a responsible, hard-working person because you take your committments so personally that when you are unable to fulfill them for whatever reason, you carry a guilt with you all the time. I'm the same way. I remember when I was in college, we had a death in the family that caused me to miss a few days of class and I fell behind, and rather than supporting my family and grieving, I was getting sick over missing school.
I don't have any great suggestions that will help make you feel better, but I can tell you what I do when I get as overwhelmed as you. I just stop thinking so much about everything and just DO whatever it is I need to do. I know it sounds stupid, but I put myself on auto-pilot and make sure to stop beating myself up because that ultimately only gets in the way of what needs to be done even more.
I would just lay off the job search for now. I'm sure you don't even have much time to interview or really give it your complete effort, anyway. It's just crunch time now and so many things are coming to a head at the same time, but just keep the goal of finishing in your head and take the small steps one by one. You'll get there, and feel so much better for it in the end. I know how excited you are to graduate, so I know you will do whatever it takes to get there. Hang in there, and don't beat yourself up too much. Just resign to the fact that what's happened has happened. It's what you do now that makes a difference.

Re: Need to majorly complain/vent/get encouragement

Re: Need to majorly complain/vent/get encouragement

Thanks Rachel, that sounds so familiar. I'm a drama major, and I also have injuries and so I'm sort of afraid and I have to worry about my back, so I don't know if I can just have the freedom to pursue something really intense.

You made it through. I will too!

Re: Need to majorly complain/vent/get encouragement

Posted by marymoon



You made it through. I will too!

Re: Need to majorly complain/vent/get encouragement

Posted by prncssrachel

Posted by marymoon



You made it through. I will too!

You got that right, sista!

Re: Need to majorly complain/vent/get encouragement

Good luck, you are almost there.

Re: Need to majorly complain/vent/get encouragement

Jen, missing a week at this point in the semester is very stressful, because you feel like you don't have as much "makeup" time left. I can understand why you are upset about it. I would also recommend forgetting about the job search for now. People love to tell you what you should be doing, but really, I think you just have to focus on your classes and internship and worry about the job later on.

I also realized that when I was in the home stretch of school the first time around, people I barely spoke to were asking what I was doing after graduation. I think some people who had jobs in place wanted to feel like they were better than those who didn't. And some of the people who didn't were freaked out and wanted to know that other people were in the same boat. You have the rest of your life to work, just worry about school right now.

Message edited 4/27/2006 9:03:56 AM.