Need some advice an old friends husbands passed away.....

I need some help and advice. A good friend from High school had sent me a birth announcement last spring. I had lost touch with her, but had sent a congratulations card and wrote her a note in it. I got a call in July in the midst of my sister having a new born baby- she was adopted- my niece- so long story short we do not have my parents anymore- they both passed away , so I was with my sister a lot- helping her out. I never had time to call ber back, she called a few more times, again it would be too late to call her back, and I was having issues wih my parents not being around- I was depressed etc. In the middle of this i got a bad bladder infection went to a horrible doctor that made me even more depressed etc. fast forward to yesterday, I finally call her and it was like no time passed, we were talking etc. And then she says to me- My husband passed away..... I was in shock- she has 3 kids all under the age of 7. I felt so terrible- she said she did not want to leave it on my machine, etc. So I went over yesterday- I feel so terrible I am finding this out now. What can I do? It is almost 4 months later- I of course will be a supportive friend. My heart aches for these kids u can see they just want extra attention- I was on the floor coloring with her duughter etc. Would it be in bad judgement to make a donation to a charity in her husbands name? What else can I do? HELP! It was so terrble she is so sad and hurting and u can tell, I am afraid of saying the wrong thing to her etc.
PS The death was sudden - he had a massive heart attack.
Not to bring anyone else down, but it makes you appreciate your DH more. I think i was telling my DH yesterday so much how much I loved him etc.

Re: Need some advice an old friends husbands passed away.....

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Re: Need some advice an old friends husbands passed away.....

I am so sorry to hear this. I hope your friend is doing okay.

My cousin found herself in the same situation 2 years ago. Her husband had just had a complete physical and 2 days later dropped in front of their 3 girls and died right on the spot where he fell in their living room.

I can remember what was best for her was people just being there. Many of us prepared food that could be left in the freezer, took the girls out to lunch or the park so she could "be alone and deal with things".

Is there something in the house she needs fixed? Does she need a night out just the 2 of you? Maybe you could arrange a sleepover with her girls and take her out for the night. Or maybe she would appreciate a little pampering - how about a mani/pedi and some lunch with her friend?

Re: Need some advice an old friends husbands passed away.....

Posted by dooodles
Is there something in the house she needs fixed? Does she need a night out just the 2 of you? Maybe you could arrange a sleepover with her girls and take her out for the night. Or maybe she would appreciate a little pampering - how about a mani/pedi and some lunch with her friend?

Re: Need some advice an old friends husbands passed away.....

I think the BEST thing you can do is be a caring friend. She has 3 kids and now is has to take care of them on her own. Offer to come over for dinner (and bring it), babysit, take kids to movies etc etc. Shes gonna need some "destressing" days and it would be nice for her to know thta she can count on you

Re: Need some advice an old friends husbands passed away.....

Re: Need some advice an old friends husbands passed away.....

Thank you for the suggestions, I am going to do them. Life is way too short,we are too young to go thru this. I just found out it happened to someone else I went to HS with.