my parents won't stop telling people my good news

I am having a hard time with my parents keeping my good news a secret. I am currently 8 weeks PG after 2 years of infertility (we got a BFP after our first IVF) So far we have only told our parents and a couple of close friends are waiting til after Labor Day to spread the good news. My parents have been giving me a hard time about not letting them tell everyone. They keep saying ‘well everyone is asking – what should we tell them’ Frankly I don’t really care and I feel like they care more about what other people think instead of how I feel.

To top it off I just found that my dad told my grandmother after I specifically told him that I wanted to call and tell her. I am so mad that he stole my moment!

Did anyone else deal with this? I feel like they are being so stubborn and immature!

Message edited 8/2/2007 4:28:07 PM.

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

I would tell them to quit it!!
Honestly - I am not kidding.

Tell them you are the one that is pregnant and you are the one that wants to tell them.
Tell them - they were able to spread the news when they were preggo with you - and ask them how excited they were to tell everyone - and that you want that excitement too

Did I make sense?

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

I went through a similar episode. I've been ttc for about two years and it was very hurtful lots of ups and downs. I didn't like talking about it to people other than my DH and my mom. When I got my BFP it was really hard for her to not tell people. On top of that I found out she's been telling family members about all the things I did in the past to try to become pregnant and that ****** me off more than anything.

Don't stress yourself out over it. I felt so guilty in the begining months whenever I got upset and cried because I was afraid I was hurting the baby. We get so emotional and our hormones are out of wack.

I told my mom off about what she did and her reply was well I was going through hell too and I'm happy now and I want to tell people about it. Weird how your own personal situation will effect others in a way where they believe they have a right to talk about your personal situation.

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

My brothers' girlfriend is pregnant by about 12 weeks.

They told myself and my mother asking us to keep it quiet.

Everytime I went out with my mother she would basically tel anyone that would listen.

I would always tell her to zip her freakin' lip.

I am now sure she did the same to us when we told her in the beginning of our pregnancy.

They just don't get it sometimes


Congratulations to you, I have been following your story on the IF board. Hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months.

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

Do what I did. I told my mother if she told anyone she would not see her grandchild - and she knew I meant it. She didn't tell a single person.

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

I told my mother this for when I do get pg ( we had a brief happy moment) I said "Mom, if you tell one person and steal my thunder I will never speak to you again" Harsh yes, if you had my mom you would understand. It worked, only to have AF show. Anyhoo, put your foot down, granted they are excited but you should be telling people, when you are ready. GL

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

Yes I did!! My parents told people in their church who I don't even know and they came up to me and had a variety of comments (I'm 38 and they're all old school).

My cousin who I didn't even tell told one of my best friends and ruined the surprise.

I know how you feel.

Tell them to stop!!

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

I'll put a different spin on it. my parents thoguht i shouldnt have told anyone about my pregnancy b/c they thought i would jinx it.

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

It is tough, we also got our bfp from IVF and that's the difficult thing, when people know you are doing IVF they find out earlier what the result was.

I would just kindly but firmly tell your Mum not to say anything and if she says what does she say when people ask just tell her to say "when they have some news for you they will tell you themselves" and I would also tell her she is stealing your thunder a little and after trying so hard to have a baby you should get the joy of telling people.

I'm sorry, it is difficult, I think also your Mum & Dad are probably very excited about being Grandparents and very proud of you and that is making it hard for them to keep quiet. I know how you feel. My parents are in England so I have no idea who they are or aren't telling!

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

YES! I am having the same problem! We told our families as SOON as we found out (I was just about 5 weeks). Well, a week later I go the the bank and the bank teller congratulates me! and tells me she heard the good news from my mom. The day after I got phone calls from each of my aunts congratulating me! Meanwhile I didn't want to tell anyone until closer to the second trimester. Also my DH's best friend and mine found out from my brother in law!!! We never got to tell them!
I was really annoyed about this, but what could I do? now EVERYONE knows and I'm only 9 weeks, its frustrating, and even though I explained how upset I was to my family they simply stated that they were just too excited...GRRRRR
I'm sorry your family is stealing the fun of telling your wonderful news! Here's some
I understand!

Message edited 8/2/2007 7:37:22 PM.

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

I would tell them to knock it off. This is YOUR news to share, not theirs.

I am sorry

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

Congratulations! Yes, my Dad went and told my aunt after I told them I wanted to tell. I was SO mad but she begged me not to say anything to him, she said he was excited

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

When I told my parents and siblings I just explained the reason why we weren't telling anyone else and made them understand how horrible it would be if they had to then go back and tell everyone that it didn't make it. That kept them quiet until the first tri was over. I had a friend whose family told everyone right away. She lost the baby at 11 wks - and it was devastating because everyone already knew and she had to tell them. When I made my parents understand the reason behind waiting - my usually blabber mouth parents were able to keep quiet.

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

i swore my mother to secrecy when i took my pregnancy test at 5 weeks and found out i was pregnant. within days she had told every single friend and family member she came into contact with and swore them to secrecy. my little sister ratted her out and when i confronted her, she thought it was funny and that i should relax because she was just excited.

i am with you. no one should steal your moment.

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

Talk to them & tell her how hurt you are. You waited 2 years to be able to share this news and they're stealing your thunder.

I waited to tell my parents & ILs until I was ready to tell everyone because I knew they couldn't keep a secret that big. Some people have limitations & this is definitely one of my mom's. Great mom, bad secret keeper.

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

I'm sorry to hear that but when I told my parents and IL's I told them that it was our secret to tell and that they were not allowed to tell ANYONE!!!! b/c if they did that would be the last thing that I told them. Not to mention that it was our news to tell not theirs....

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

aww...that stinks...of course they are so excited that they want to tell everyone, but i think you should let them know that you really want to be the one to share the news!

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one dealing with this!

My parents are from a different country and they do not get the whole "waiting til the first trimester is over to tell' concept. They are genuinely ****** off at me that I"m making them keep quiet about it. I tried talking to them about it last night and it ended in a huge screaming match. I feel like they are taking something that should be joyous and ruining it by their behavior.

Thanks for listening.

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

I'm sorry We sort of went through the same thing - waited until after the first doctor's appt (8w) to tell parents & siblings and I intended to stop there until 12 weeks. Yeah, I got about 15 hours before they were BURSTING. Thankfully everything's gone ok since then (I'm now 11.5 weeks and next week is the week I'll finish telling everyone) but it still s*cks not to be able to do this on your own terms

Re: my parents won't stop telling people my good news

I can definitely understand what you are dealing with. It was my biggest fear that my dad was going to start telling the whole world before we were ready.

My parents had to wait about 3 weeks before they were "allowed" to tell anyone. Yes, we told them they were not allowed to tell anybody.

I got calls from my father every day asking me if he could tell the waiter at the restaurant because they don't know me! Can I tell the bartender because he doesn't know you either!!

My dad has the biggest mouth and somehow he kept it shut. I would let your parents know how you feel.