Medication during TTC and pregnancy....

I have been very reluctant to post this in the past but I need some advice.

I have been wanting to seriously TTC for awhile now and our hearts are aching for a baby. We have done the "whatever happens, happens" thing for a while without any sucess....

I have had a lifetime of depression and, within the last few years, extreme anxiety and panic attacks. I want to get pregnant so bad but also want to be in the best state possible for my future child. My want and anxiety regarding not being a mom yet has been contributing to this almost CONSTANT hell.

Due to a recent ER visit, it seems the best thing for me to do is go on some form of meds as the doctors have advised me. This would be great but on the other end of the spectrum the ttcing may have to be put off idefinitely. I have heard there are some meds that may be safe during pregnancy but it is never a route I thought I would ever have to take.

It kills me that these issues are preventing me from being the mom I so want to be and feel mad at myself for not just being about to "get it togethter already." I tend to blame myself, as this is a weakness that is all my fault. I want my baby to have all the love he/she deserves and the best life possible!!!! I also lurk on these boards frequently and I see all the happy babies and such and admire them and their moms but feel inferior by comparison. There are so many wonderful mommies around me on a daily basis.

Any ttc'ers, pregnant women, parents have any advice or have been in similar situations? I know it is a real personal topic so feel free to share any info by fm if possible.

Thanks for reading this post.

I hope I didn't bring this board done or seem whiny!!!!

You always have my

Re: Medication during TTC and pregnancy....

I am sooooooooooo sorry you are feeling this way. As someone who has dealt with anxiety and depression in the past, I completely understand how you feel.

I would suggest talking to your OB about what you can take while TTC and being pregnant. Also, I didn't read in your post, but are you in any sort of therapy?

I no longer take meds (haven't in a long time). I do keep anti anxiety pills on hand for those times I really need them, but counseling alone has really worked for me the past few years.

Re: Medication during TTC and pregnancy....

Thanks so much for the feedback. Yes, I have recently started therapy again.

It is nice to find someone who understands. It is so easy when you are in this position to blame yourself (which I have, ). Self-esteem- wise I am at the lowest I have been in awhile.

Every day I just want to wake up and be "normal" again. I sooo want to be a good mom to a little one (there is nothing that I have never wanted more) and it hurts to feel this way.