momAGAIN
so outrageous
Member since 7/05 3853 total posts
Name:
TJ
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Letter to Santa-from mommy.....cute
>> > Dear Santa,
> > I've been a good Mommy all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my
>
> > children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor,
>
> > sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree
>
> > on the school playground and figured out how to attach nine patches onto
> > my son's Boy Scout uniform with staples and a glue gun.
>
> > I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases,
>
> > since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back
>
> > of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll
>
> > find anymore free time in the next 18 years.
>
> > Here are my Christmas wishes:
>
> > I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple,
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> > which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze;
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> > but are strong enough to pull my screaming child ! out of the candy
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> > aisle in the grocery store.
>
> > I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month
>
> > of my last pregnancy.
>
> > If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint
>
> > resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television
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> > that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a
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> > refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can
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> > hide to talk on the phone.
>
> > On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes,
>
> > Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with three kids who don't
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> > fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the
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> > use of power tools.
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> > I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the
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> > living room" and "Take your hands off your brother/sister," because my
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> > voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only
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> > be heard by the dog.
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> > I! f it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough
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> > time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the
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> > luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being
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> > served in a styrofoam container.
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> > If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten
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> > the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a
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> > vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely.
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> > It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the
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> > house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an
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> > organized crime family.
>
> > Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet
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> > under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a
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> > safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in
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> > and dry off so you don't catch cold.
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> > Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave
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> > crumbs on the carpet.
>
> > Yours Always,
>
> > Mommy
>
> > P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my
> > children young enough to believe in Santa.
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