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rkoenke
my little piggys
Member since 3/08 4315 total posts
Name:
rachel
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Kid's friend's Birthday party on Dad's weekend
Who buys the gift??
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Posted 11/5/13 11:26 AM  |
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bpmom
Feeling Blessed
Member since 6/07 2963 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kid's friend's Birthday party on Dad's weekend
I think the mom does -- but I gotta say that as a kid of divorce nothing interfered with the weekends with my dad - no kid parties/soccer games/friend events, so my mom would've declined the friend bday party.
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| Posted 11/5/13 11:33 AM |
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Tulips915
................
Member since 8/08 6851 total posts
Name:
Me
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Kid's friend's Birthday party on Dad's weekend
Dad
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| Posted 11/5/13 11:34 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kid's friend's Birthday party on Dad's weekend
Posted by bdmom
I think the mom does -- but I gotta say that as a kid of divorce nothing interfered with the weekends with my dad - no kid parties/soccer games/friend events, so my mom would've declined the friend bday party.
I'm confused why it would be bad for the dad to take the kid to the birthday party on his weekend?
I don't think it really matters who buys the gift, and if you are fighting about it, that is just ridiculous. You are both her parents, it's her friend, so split it if there is question.
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| Posted 11/5/13 11:35 AM |
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bpmom
Feeling Blessed
Member since 6/07 2963 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kid's friend's Birthday party on Dad's weekend
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by bdmom
I think the mom does -- but I gotta say that as a kid of divorce nothing interfered with the weekends with my dad - no kid parties/soccer games/friend events, so my mom would've declined the friend bday party.
I'm confused why it would be bad for the dad to take the kid to the birthday party on his weekend?
I don't think it really matters who buys the gift, and if you are fighting about it, that is just ridiculous. You are both her parents, it's her friend, so split it if there is question.
I don't think it's bad for the dad to take her to her friend's bday party on his weekend, I was just offering what had happened in my life after my parents divorced. My dad was used to seeing us everyday before they split and when he could see us on his weekends, he didn't want to take us to other events/things because he thought our time together was so limited. It was very selfish on his part and it got very complicated as I got older but I knew not to make plans with my friends on days that I was supposed to see my dad/stepmom.
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| Posted 11/5/13 11:39 AM |
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APT910
Let It Be
Member since 2/11 5021 total posts
Name:
Ashley
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Re: Kid's friend's Birthday party on Dad's weekend
If it was one of my friend's parties then my mom bought the gift, if it was one of my brother's friend's parties then my dad bought the gift.
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| Posted 11/5/13 11:43 AM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kid's friend's Birthday party on Dad's weekend
i dont think it matters.
i grew up with divorced parents, and my mom would always handle that stuff just because she didnt want to rely on my dad and didnt want us to show up empty handed.
if you are on good terms, i would just ask if he wants to pick up the gift or if he wants you to
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| Posted 11/5/13 11:44 AM |
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Ian&EmmesMommy23
My family is complete!
Member since 11/08 12970 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Kid's friend's Birthday party on Dad's weekend
when my ExH has my DS on his weekend and there's a birthday party scheduled he brings him and buys the gift.
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| Posted 11/5/13 12:05 PM |
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rkoenke
my little piggys
Member since 3/08 4315 total posts
Name:
rachel
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Re: Kid's friend's Birthday party on Dad's weekend
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by bdmom
I think the mom does -- but I gotta say that as a kid of divorce nothing interfered with the weekends with my dad - no kid parties/soccer games/friend events, so my mom would've declined the friend bday party.
I'm confused why it would be bad for the dad to take the kid to the birthday party on his weekend?
I don't think it really matters who buys the gift, and if you are fighting about it, that is just ridiculous. You are both her parents, it's her friend, so split it if there is question.
It went like this:
Me: "Are you going to allow child to go the birthday party on sunday?"
Him: "Yeah, she can go."
Me: "OK. I will call and RSVP "YES". It's on XXX / Time XXX"
Him: "OK. Ummmm, you are going to take care of the gift, right?"
Me: "Uh. No."
Silence
Him: "Why?"
Me: "When they go to parties on my weekends, I pay for gift and don't expect anything from you. It's a $20 gift card to Target..."
Him: "Okay, okay... I'll take care of it." (Attitude)
So, I wondered... Is it MY responsibility? I don't think that it's in the "papers" that child support covers birthday parties (GEESH!! DID I REALLY FREAKIN SAY THAT??!!)
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| Posted 11/5/13 12:19 PM |
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rkoenke
my little piggys
Member since 3/08 4315 total posts
Name:
rachel
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Re: Kid's friend's Birthday party on Dad's weekend
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by bdmom
I think the mom does -- but I gotta say that as a kid of divorce nothing interfered with the weekends with my dad - no kid parties/soccer games/friend events, so my mom would've declined the friend bday party.
I'm confused why it would be bad for the dad to take the kid to the birthday party on his weekend?
I don't think it really matters who buys the gift, and if you are fighting about it, that is just ridiculous. You are both her parents, it's her friend, so split it if there is question.
--- A side note... before very very recently, my girls didn't go to anything on HIS weekends. It was made perfectly clear to me that he didn't want anything to interfere with HIS time. I told my child that she would have to ask daddy about this party because it's daddys weekend (we got invitation while he was at the house picking them up... it wasn't a game I was playing...)
By the time he brought them home that day, he said she can go, but my daughter told me, not him. hence the clarification today....
Message edited 11/5/2013 12:46:05 PM.
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| Posted 11/5/13 12:22 PM |
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BabyFever
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 1050 total posts
Name:
XXXXXXXXXX
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Re: Kid's friend's Birthday party on Dad's weekend
This is currently an issue with me and STBX he refuses to take her to gymnastics or birthday parties. I don't mind i would buy any gift, as my therapist has explained to him if you don't start taking her she will start not wanting to go to your house. Shes at an age where all teh kids are talking about teh parties at school she wants to go Of course he still doesn't take her. I'm trying to have it written into the agreement we are writing up.
Its unfair to the child not to take them. How long is party 2 hours I think he can afford to take her.
But for the original poster I don't mind buying the gift, at least i know something was bought my STBX can't even manage to buy his own DD a gift.
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| Posted 11/5/13 2:36 PM |
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Re: Kid's friend's Birthday party on Dad's weekend
My ex will take him to things but will not pay fees or for gifts 
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| Posted 11/5/13 2:38 PM |
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stinger
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 4971 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kid's friend's Birthday party on Dad's weekend
In general that is what child support is for. So, in my case I pay for everything: food, clothing, shelter, school collections, school pictures, extracurricular classes, bday party gifts are included.
Ex only splits uncov'd medical and childcare while we both work.
My ex had an issue with his weekends being taken up by the kids activities, but he does finally get that this is what kids and parents do on weekends, divorced or not.
Only issue now is that because ex lives 30 miles away, the girls miss out on playdates on weekends. I try for them when they are with me.
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| Posted 11/5/13 3:09 PM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kid's friend's Birthday party on Dad's weekend
Posted by bdmom
I think the mom does -- but I gotta say that as a kid of divorce nothing interfered with the weekends with my dad - no kid parties/soccer games/friend events, so my mom would've declined the friend bday party.
This was my experience too. I wasn't allowed to do anything on my father's weekend with me. He wouldn't take me to parties, games, events because it was "his" time.
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| Posted 11/5/13 4:21 PM |
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Dani
Life is about choices.
Member since 5/05 6532 total posts
Name:
Dani
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Re: Kid's friend's Birthday party on Dad's weekend
that's not him being an ex, thats him being a man. 
but yes, i think he should take care of it.
Message edited 11/6/2013 6:37:13 AM.
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| Posted 11/6/13 6:37 AM |
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GraciesMom
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 1636 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kid's friend's Birthday party on Dad's weekend
Posted by Dani
that's not him being an ex, thats him being a man.
but yes, i think he should take care of it.
I agree 100%. Most men don't have a clue about buying presents. I think it might be more about the present buying than the money.
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| Posted 11/6/13 10:55 AM |
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