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when
Maybe this time?
Member since 7/07 1761 total posts
Name:
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Is it okay to say no?
People have abeen asking me even before I got preggo when we would start a family. I always found that a really rude question.
We were with friends last night and DH made a comment...something to the effect of "when you're a parent, and...."
THe response from our friend, rather presumptuous, I might add, was "Are you pregnant?"
In unison, we both said NO. The wife than said,,,"You can take the fifth if you want." and I still said No. That would be SO OBVIOUS.
ITs just too early to tell people. We haven't even told our parents.
However I felt really awful lying about such a thing. Am I being superstitious or rediculous? We are not even that close with these people that we would tell them...but I feel funny about lying.
Is it OKAY to say "No" when people ask you, and lie for a few months?
Did anyone else have this experience?
Message edited 8/31/2008 5:29:00 PM.
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Posted 8/31/08 5:21 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Alli06
Baby #3 coming this June
Member since 8/05 6721 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Is it okay to say no?
It is fine to lie, don't worry about it. If you are not ready to tell, then you have every right not to tell people. People at work where questioning me when I was coming to work sick. I just ignored their comments.
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| Posted 8/31/08 5:26 PM |
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TLC1018
I AM A BIG SISTER!!
Member since 8/07 3880 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: Is it okay to say no?
Absolutely! I lied to people for a while...I was determined to tell them in my time, not theirs.
It always bothers me when people ask if you're pregnant only b/c it's not easy for a lot of people and you dont know by asking them if you're bringing up a sensitive issue. I personally always wait for them to tell me. Even if I think it in my head, people will tell you when they're ready.
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| Posted 8/31/08 6:15 PM |
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Lucky
Growing up fast!
Member since 4/07 12683 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: Is it okay to say no?
I think it's worse that people come out and ask than you telling them that you are not pregnant. Really...they shouldn't be asking. You don't even need to justify your reason for not telling whomever you don't want to know at the time. It's your personal business. When you are ready to tell, you will...until then...they can just chill with their inquiries!
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| Posted 8/31/08 6:29 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Is it okay to say no?
I have no issue lying. Then when you want to tell you just say "I wasn't ready to share that yet". If they have an issue with that then, oh well.
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| Posted 8/31/08 7:09 PM |
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newwife08
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 1001 total posts
Name:
Indira
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Re: Is it okay to say no?
ABSOLUTELY...Lie through your teeth..its NOBODY'S business...did you ask them if they had sex last night when you went over to their house???...Absolutely not, right? Its the same thing... Its your choice when and if you decide to share this very private news...don't feel funny at all
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| Posted 8/31/08 10:26 PM |
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megsm3
Life is Good!!
Member since 8/06 3867 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Is it okay to say no?
just keep lying until you are ready
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| Posted 8/31/08 10:28 PM |
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babyonthebrain
Brotherly Love!
Member since 1/08 6209 total posts
Name:
Rafaela
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Re: Is it okay to say no?
Personally I don't see the big deal. This not telling people until a certain point is an American thing. I actually had someone ask me if I was pregnant at 8 weeks and as rude as it was coming from a parent in my school, I did not lie. I just could not deny the child that is inside me. However everyone has a different opinion (to each its own) and if you're comfortable not saying anything then thats your personal decision. I would feel really stupid if I saw the same people after a few months and they saw me sporting a big belly. You have to do what you think is best for you.
XOXOXO
BOTB
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| Posted 8/31/08 11:16 PM |
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wannabemom
look who's freshly baked!
Member since 12/07 7364 total posts
Name:
aka marriedinportjeff
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Re: Is it okay to say no?
yeah, I was also annoyed when people confronted me when I drank soda instead of wine at a restaurant. (I used the antibiotic excuse.)
Why be so nosey and pushy  I would never put someone in that situation... it's just wrong.
people just get ruder as the belly grows...
'you must be having twins'
'I'm surprised you're still moving around'
'you didn't give birth yet?'
And then there's the touching....
I sometimes think this is nature's way of forcing us to have thick skin and roll with the punches... all good qualities for parenthood.....
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| Posted 8/31/08 11:35 PM |
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twinkletoes807
Mommy's Girls! ♥
Member since 11/07 10116 total posts
Name:
Gabi
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Re: Is it okay to say no?
Pregnancy is a very personal experience. After having a m/c, I did not want the world to know early on that I was pregnant. I lied to whomever I felt it was none of their business knowing yet. I don't think lying to people when you are early on can be accurately described as, "denying the child inside," of you. I think it is a personal choice that some of us make, in order to retain some sense of privacy from people who are lacking in couth.
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| Posted 9/1/08 6:37 AM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Is it okay to say no?
If you're not ready to tell, I think it's fine to lie. Someone at work made a comment about whether I'd be celebrating Mother's Day and I brushed it off. I pretty much knew she "knew" I was pregnant, but I was only 7 or 8 weeks at that point and didn't feel comfortable telling anyone outside of family.
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| Posted 9/1/08 9:50 AM |
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2BEANS
wow time is going fast.
Member since 9/07 16106 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: Is it okay to say no?
Your body and your child.. you do what you feel comfortable with. I do not count saying No as lieing. Youll tell everyone when your ready and thats it.
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| Posted 9/1/08 10:03 AM |
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