I am thinking of just throwing in the towel and moving on with my life.

I can't take this anymore...living my life based on the results on a stick. I feel angry, depressed and hopeless today. I feel like I waited too long and that it's too late now. My window of opportunity is now closed..

Every month, I feel let down by my own body... I'm tired of trying to figure it all out...do I eat too much junk food? (yes), drink too much soda? (definately), is it beacuse I don't exercise like I should????is it because I'm to old now?? was I selfish to wait this long??? why did I take my fertility for granted??? was I selfish to think that I would get pg just because I wanted to??

I'm tired of cross-examining my self...



Vent over. Thank You

Re: I am thinking of just throwing in the towel and moving on with my life.

Tara I'm sooo sorry you are feeling that way. Please don't be so hard on yourself.

I'm new to the TTC board for #2 and I'm not sure how long you've been trying or anything. Have you talked to your OB, tried the CBEFM, charted, etc.? I'm over 30 and had some trouble with #1. If you need to talk or vent feel free to FM me!!!

Message edited 9/25/2007 9:57:10 PM.

Re: I am thinking of just throwing in the towel and moving on with my life.

Tara, unfortunately I know exactly how you are feeling. After my huge letdown yesterday, I went home & had a pity party on myself. I am still trying for #1.

Luckily I have a level-headed DH who put things back into prospective last night! Of course, I wanted to at first because he just didn't understand my rage of emotions. It is such a selfish thing for always wanting. I am starting to become a firm believer that for us, it is not our time just yet. Like someone had said, it technically takes an average couple 6 months, well I am going into month 5. If I went by what most Dr's say about giving yourself 3 months to regulate after BCP, I would only be in Month 3!

We are all here for each other & I think our pity parties are just so natural especially when you want something so bad!!!

Re: I am thinking of just throwing in the towel and moving on with my life.

Oh, believe me I know about frustration! I am still trying for #1 and I'm 35. I feel as if everyone around me is getting pg with no problem. Good luck to you.

Re: I am thinking of just throwing in the towel and moving on with my life.

Right there with you - I'm kicking myself everyday for not just taking the plunge right after Alex was born. I really took it all for granted because I conceived her so easily.

It's the most maddening and frustrating process - it's making me doubt my own thoughts and my own body. I feel like my mind is playing tricks on me constantly.

By the same token though, this gives me an even greater appreciation for just how much of a miracle it is to conceive and deliver a healthy baby. When, NOT IF, but when it happens for us, it will be that much more meaningful, precious and touching.

Re: I am thinking of just throwing in the towel and moving on with my life.

Just wanna give you some

Re: I am thinking of just throwing in the towel and moving on with my life.

I have a friend who is 7months pregnant and I asked her if she had any difficulty getting pregnant. She said yes.. that she was on the pill for soo long. when she got off the pill she was trying for 11 months! and the day before my wedding (3/3/07) she found out that she's pregnant! I have a co-worker who already has a 6 yr old girl and she kinda tried for a 1 & 1/2 yrs. And finally in May 07 she told me that she's expecting.. she is now 5 months along.

I hope that this gives you some hope.. that it'll happen.

Re: I am thinking of just throwing in the towel and moving on with my life.

I'm on month 7 TTC#1 so I know how hard the wait is. Try and stay positive and if you think there may be something wrong definitely contact your dr.

Re: I am thinking of just throwing in the towel and moving on with my life.

I know its hard - but try and stay positive. We are all here for eachother!

Re: I am thinking of just throwing in the towel and moving on with my life.

Re: I am thinking of just throwing in the towel and moving on with my life.

I never thought how difficult TTC is. Prior to TTC I thought it was going to be a one shot deal but boy was I wrong

I totally hear where your coming from as were all in the same boat as you. I'm sorry to say this because I hate hearing it myself but try and stay positive, that's the best advice I can give.

It will happen, we just unfortunately have to try and be patient.

Hang in there and best of luck to you

Re: I am thinking of just throwing in the towel and moving on with my life.

Maybe a month or two break will be good. Just wing it and see what happens. Try not to think about it.