How would one handle this???

Your married...but not living far from your moms house. Your grandmother will have to live with your mom, sister and brother now due to health issues. Mom is freaking out cause there is no room and its so much work. You try to do your best..offer any type of help at any time, are always there for anything but obviously you dont live there. Mom ALWAYS says..its just her and your sister doing all the work cause sister still lives at home. But what can one do? Married, not living at home anymore, married life is different...of course the married one cannot be the same help as the not married one still living at home. And yet, the comparisons are ALWAYS there. How does one handle this?

Re: How would one handle this???

The only thing you can really do is offer to do the shopping or come over and cook once in a while....like you said you don't live there

Re: How would one handle this???

BE HONEST
Tell her that the comments bother you and that you are willing to help out as much as you can! And that you understand this all must be VERY stressful for her!

Re: How would one handle this???

When I told her the comments bothered and hurt me, she said, well you have to understand how I feel. So I said, yeah I do..of course and I will help in any way..and she says..well its not the same as what me and your sister do. Now I feel like doing nothing because I feel like trying my best isnt even good enough, so why try?

Re: How would one handle this???

Well i don't know if i would not help. I think you mom is just really stressed out right now and since you told her how you felt i would ignore any further comments and just be there to help in the ways you can...

OR....you can tell her that you and your DH will temporarily move back in....since that seems to be the requirement for real help and you have dibs on her bed

Message edited 10/14/2005 7:36:29 PM.

Re: How would one handle this???

Do you think its fair to get compared?

Thanks for all the replies by the way :)

Re: How would one handle this???

Re: How would one handle this???

Thank you Jen...for all your advice and responding. Means a lot to me, especially right at this moment.

Re: How would one handle this???

Posted by nycchic24

Thank you Jen...for all your advice and responding. Means a lot to me, especially right at this moment.

Re: How would one handle this???

DH and I live 2 miles from my MIL. One day we realized that our home is always a wreck because we're always running around for everyone else.

So, DH started telling her that he's married now and owns a home (condo) and has responsibilities in his own home.

Re: How would one handle this???

If your sister is living home rent free, she should help out. You should not feel guilty at all. Help out as much as you can.