How to handle miscarriage w/ friend,relative

I seem to know a lot of women who have miscarried lately. I was wondering what is the "right" thing to do, or if there even is any. I have said how sorry I am and mailed cards just saying that I love the person and I am sorry and here for them, is that appropriate to do? I just want to be sensitive to the person.

Re: How to handle miscarriage w/ friend,relative

I think a card is nice. I know that when I had a m/c, I didn't want anyone to make a big deal out of it or bring it up alot. I had mine very early so it might be different if they miscarry a little later on. Everyone handles it in their own way. Just be supportive & be there to listen

Re: How to handle miscarriage w/ friend,relative

Re: How to handle miscarriage w/ friend,relative

The card is a nice idea. I wouldn't bring it up too much, but listen if they want to talk about it.

My friends and family were great, but some of them went so far as to completely ignore that I had a D&C and I felt like "hey, I am still in a fragile state here, gimme a sec".

Just be there and be a good listener, but still treat her with kid gloves for a little. You don't have to ask her if she's OK every minute, but don't ask her to go skydiving tomorrow either!!

You are a good friend to care so much.

Re: How to handle miscarriage w/ friend,relative

Thank you ladies. I expressed my care and concern and I am going to mail the cards I have today with a brief note in them and then leave it at that. I dont want to force the issue like you all said. Thanks for the advice.

Re: How to handle miscarriage w/ friend,relative

My sister has had four of them, and I do go spend a day with her afterwards, when she's feeling a little better. I always went with the understanding that we didn't have to talk about it at all, but she always did bring it up.

She has told me that she hates it when people say things like, "You're still young, you can have another," or "Something was wrong, so it's for the best." She wanted all of her babies, and hearing things like this made her feel as if the pregnancy was disregarded.

Sending a card or calling and letting people know that you are very sorry for their loss, and you are there for them if they want to talk is good I think. I wouldn't bring it up though unless they do.

Re: How to handle miscarriage w/ friend,relative

I miscarried twice, and I always appreciated a card and a kind word. But I think that is all you can do. Its nice that you are so concerned.

Re: How to handle miscarriage w/ friend,relative

I think a card is easier. That way she does not have to cry in front of you is she gets emotional.

Just write that you are sorry for her loss, that you will be there for your friend/relative if they want to talk or need your help. That way it opens the door to a conversation if she wants to.

Re: How to handle miscarriage w/ friend,relative

Re: How to handle miscarriage w/ friend,relative

I think a card...I have a few gfs that went through that and they all said the phone calls were very nice but after a while they just wanted to be alone and not tell everyone over and over again how they feel

Re: How to handle miscarriage w/ friend,relative

I just spoke to a friend tonight that had a miscarriage. I called her to say how sorry was, and then we talked about everything else we could think of.

Re: How to handle miscarriage w/ friend,relative

i had a m/c and a card coming from a person you have a good relationship with is nice... you can mention in you card that your there if they want to talk

Re: How to handle miscarriage w/ friend,relative

I agree I think the best thing is to be suportive and there for the person in case they want to talk or want a shoulder to cry on....