How do I get past this?

So I've posted my plight with my career ambitions a few times.

This is the second time I have worked at my current job. The first time I left I jumped at an opportunity that wound up being the wrong fit for me, so much so that I was in therapy for two years. I was always very driven and this job put the brakes on that. I was lucky enough to be asked to return to my old job three years ago, and was grateful for the opportunity.

Now I have become stagnant and I am trying to find another position. The problem is I am having so much anxiety over leaving, to the point where I am talking myself out of applying to jobs I'm finding. I convince myself that I'm under-qualified. That some of the responsibilities sound daunting. I'm afraid anywhere else I go will not have a good work-life balance (I have a three year old son).

I HAVE to move on. We could be doing so much better financially, and I am bored. But I feel that besides not getting responses when I send out resumes, that maybe I'm holding myself back.

If anyone has any advice, experience, etc. on how to get past this, I would be grateful. Thanks!

Re: How do I get past this?

I was finally able to leave a toxic environment a year ago last spring.

Something like that defintiely stays with you and can really affect your opinion of future employers.

It also didn't help that before I left, I had a few interviews at places that seemed a lot worse than my previous employer.

I think the hardest thing for me to deal with was actually going through with the change.

Also, a lot of skills and requirements are very often taught on the job.

I know many employers these days prefer people to come in that they can train and then ultimately retain.

Another tip is that there are always people who can give you honest feedback about a potential employer. Of course some you need to take with a grain of salt, but I think generally, most long-term employees of places are very honest.

I had several LIFers help me when I was making the decision to switch to my current employer and it was extremely helpful. Their reviews also were spot on, even though we work for different programs/locations.

Definitely don't be scared to apply to places....that's the easy part!

How do I get past this?

i have been there. I left my current agency and came back within 6 months to my original department. Things eventually got so bad, i looked to leave again and they promised me if i stayed they would move me (at least i know i am a valued employee!) Anyway, like you when the day arrived for my last day in my department i had had severe anxiety that day- i stayed within my agency just moved departments. as much as i was scared i knew it needed to happen. after my first day, i began to feel less anxious. It has been so far the best thing i have done. While i know you are looking to leave the company, know that it is ok to make mistakes and we can always change things. Its scary to make a jump, but you will likely have a good experience.
I definitely would look to follow LIFers for advice and even links to jobs for those of us that work in different fields and with different employees.
Don't be scared!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) good luck with your job search!

Re: How do I get past this?

I think you have to remind yourself that applying is step one of a long process. And YOU are in control of the process. Even if you go all the way through the interview process and get an offer, you can always turn down the job.

View the application and interview process as a fact-finding mission. They are not just interviewing you, but you are interviewing the company and gathering info about the position you've applied for to see whether it's a good fit. For example, you've raised concerns about family-friendliness and work/life balance with your 3 year old. So just make sure that you get a good sense of the company culture and all of that before you make the leap. Sometimes, it's hard to ask about certain things during the interview process, but once you get an offer and before you accept, you can certainly lay it on the line in terms of your work/life balance expectations and see if it would really work for you.

But nothing is final until you actually decide to make a move by accepting a new job and giving notice at your current one. So there's really nothing to be afraid of. At this point, you are just exploring your options. And being that you already have a job, you are in the best position possible. You don't NEED to jump on something immediately, you are not desperate to find just any job. You are really in the driver's seat.

I can see how you may be gun-shy, given that you tried to make a move before and it didn't work out. But you can learn from that experience -- why didn't the position work out? should you have maybe looked deeper into it or asked more questions before making the change? And now apply that knowledge you gained to your job search this time around.

Finally - I agree with the others that sometimes you just need to make the leap. I also agree that change is almost always good. Most people I know - myself included - who contemplated switching jobs and struggled with the decision were very happy when they finally did. I struggled for a long time, and left a job where I was well-liked and a position I was good at to try something totally different. While it was definitely an adjustment and I've made some trade-offs, I have ZERO regrets. It was 100% the right move to make. But that said, I made sure that I made a move that would allow me to achieve the things I wanted (flexibility, work/life balance), and I turned down other jobs (that were kind of similar to my old job in a lot of ways) because I felt like, while it would be a change, it wouldn't be the change that would make me happier.

So I think you should absolutely pursue new opportunities, but just don't change for the sake of changing. You have the luxury of having a job, so you can afford to be picky until the "right" opportunity comes along.

Good luck!