| Posted By |
Message |
Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
|
Hey Moms!! I need your help with a homework assingment. I need 12 people to reply.
So i made up this ad for my advertising class.
I just need your feedback about it, would you buy it, just what is your opinion.
Thanks in advance!!
here is the ad, is for a marinara sauce that you would hear on the radio.
Hey New york!!
I am Mrs Mangia, me and my husband own Mr Mangia"s Marinara company of Manhattan.
I'm here today to introduce Mr Mangia Marinara sauce, a sauce made of 100 % organic ingredients, created with the upmost quality.
The Mangia's family stand by it and we give it our seal of approval bringing to you a taste of Italy right here in your kitchen.
Mr Mangia Marinara sauce
"From Nature to your belly, just like how your mom used to make it.
|
Posted 11/11/08 5:19 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
|
Re: Hey Moms!! I need your help with a homework assingment. I need 12 people to reply.
I think you're on the right track, but I would reword some of it....
Lemme know if you need help, I write copy for my company....
|
| Posted 11/11/08 5:21 PM |
| |
|
happytobreathe
The Lazy Days of Summer
Member since 10/06 1413 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Hey Moms!! I need your help with a homework assingment. I need 12 people to reply.
Well I would buy it... of course!
But,...maybe you can add something about why it is so special, there are organic sauces out there..maybe you make it with love in your own kitchen from scratch.
Also shouldn't it be my husband and I??
Just sharing my thoughts!
|
| Posted 11/11/08 5:22 PM |
| |
|
dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
|
Re: Hey Moms!! I need your help with a homework assingment. I need 12 people to reply.
I might buy it because its organic.
The ad itself is kinda dull or just not edgy or catching enough for me.
Also my mom didnt make anything from nature 
|
| Posted 11/11/08 5:29 PM |
| |
|
Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
|
Re: Hey Moms!! I need your help with a homework assingment. I need 12 people to reply.
thanks, keep it going!
|
| Posted 11/11/08 5:32 PM |
| |
|
Selden78
I lvoe the fall :)
Member since 6/06 3543 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Hey Moms!! I need your help with a homework assingment. I need 12 people to reply.
I thought it was good :) alot of Ms
|
| Posted 11/11/08 5:33 PM |
| |
|
HarleyGirlFLA
Come on in
Member since 5/05 9674 total posts
Name:
Mel
|
Re: Hey Moms!! I need your help with a homework assingment. I need 12 people to reply.
Not sure if I would buy it. Needs to be a bit more edgy. Something that makes it stand out. Something like making sauce for 50 years, grandma's recipe, etc..
Instead of Hey New York, maybe open with Ciao New York and then lead into the ad
|
| Posted 11/11/08 5:35 PM |
| |
|
CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Hey Moms!! I need your help with a homework assingment. I need 12 people to reply.
I'd be sold more if it were kids talking about how good it is and then you whispering how it's healthy too, all natural, organic products from the farmer's market.
|
| Posted 11/11/08 5:36 PM |
| |
|
jea128
...
Member since 5/05 3415 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Hey Moms!! I need your help with a homework assingment. I need 12 people to reply.
Good, but I don't like the way the following is worded:
The Mangia's family stand by it and we give it our seal of approval bringing to you a taste of Italy right here in your kitchen.
Instead of using the word "it" try and use "the Mangia's family stand by it's sauce."
|
| Posted 11/11/08 5:37 PM |
| |
|
Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
|
Re: Hey Moms!! I need your help with a homework assingment. I need 12 people to reply.
bump
|
| Posted 11/11/08 5:43 PM |
| |
|
MrsSteflily
I love chocolate
Member since 4/06 2047 total posts
Name:
Stef
|
Re: Hey Moms!! I need your help with a homework assingment. I need 12 people to reply.
You had me until "Made from nature". Isn't it redundant if it's organic?
I don't have a suggestion on what to change it to, ( I am really bad at this sort of thing).
Good luck.
|
| Posted 11/11/08 5:46 PM |
| |
|
DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
|
Re: Hey Moms!! I need your help with a homework assingment. I need 12 people to reply.
I am Mrs Mangia, me and my husband own Mr Mangia"s Marinara company of Manhattan.
My husband and I
I'm here today to introduce Mr Mangia Marinara sauce, a sauce made of 100 % organic ingredients, created with the upmost quality.
's after mangia. It's uTmost-also not crazy about the "I'm here today. Sounds like an infomercial. maybe say-ahve you heard about the best new organic sauce on the market today?
The Mangia's family stand by it and we give it our seal of approval bringing to you a taste of Italy right here in your kitchen.
Maybe say Our family?
"From Nature to your belly, just like how your mom used to make it
You have to say just like or just how not both.
HTH-Good luck
|
| Posted 11/11/08 5:53 PM |
| |
|
thiadora
Happy Little Girl
Member since 5/05 3830 total posts
Name:
Thia (Cynthia)
|
Re: Hey Moms!! I need your help with a homework assingment. I need 12 people to reply.
"me and my husband" is not proper English. As soon as I hear something like that in an add, I stop listening and won't buy the product. (It s/b "my husband and I" in the sentence. You wouldn't say "Me own Mr Mangia"s Marinara company of Manhattan.")
|
| Posted 11/11/08 9:42 PM |
| |
|
waterspout4
My loves
Member since 5/06 19150 total posts
Name:
Kelly
|
Re: Hey Moms!! I need your help with a homework assingment. I need 12 people to reply.
Too many words that start with 'M' in the area mentioned above by previous posters.
|
| Posted 11/11/08 9:44 PM |
| |
|
jinglemommy
I <3 my boys!
Member since 12/06 1389 total posts
Name:
Kelly
|
Re: Hey Moms!! I need your help with a homework assingment. I need 12 people to reply.
Posted by thiadora
"me and my husband" is not proper English. As soon as I hear something like that in an add, I stop listening and won't buy the product. (It s/b "my husband and I" in the sentence. You wouldn't say "Me own Mr Mangia"s Marinara company of Manhattan.")
I agree with the me and my husband...i just stop listening
|
| Posted 11/11/08 9:46 PM |
| |
|
curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
|
Re: Hey Moms!! I need your help with a homework assingment. I need 12 people to reply.
Posted by Tany
Hey New york!!
I am Mrs Mangia, me and my husband own Mr Mangia"s Marinara company of Manhattan.
I'm here today to introduce Mr Mangia Marinara sauce, a sauce made of 100 % organic ingredients, created with the upmost quality.
The Mangia's family stand by it and we give it our seal of approval bringing to you a taste of Italy right here in your kitchen.
Mr Mangia Marinara sauce
"From Nature to your belly, just like how your mom used to make it.
This is how I would revise, off the top of my head...
Ciao New York!
This is Mrs. Mangia here, and my husband Luigi and I want to introduce you to our legendary family sauce, Mr. Mangia Marinara Sauce.
It's made from all natural ingredients, just like mama used to make!
Now you can have a real taste of Italy right in your own kitchen with Mr. Mangia Marinara Sauce, the Mangia family only stands for the finest, freshest ingredients with no added sugars or preservatives, which means an all natural, healthy option for you and your family.
From the vine to your dinner table, Mr. Mangia, just like mama used to make!
|
| Posted 11/11/08 10:17 PM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Hey Moms!! I need your help with a homework assingment. I need 12 people to reply.
Posted by curliegirl
Posted by Tany
Hey New york!!
I am Mrs Mangia, me and my husband own Mr Mangia"s Marinara company of Manhattan.
I'm here today to introduce Mr Mangia Marinara sauce, a sauce made of 100 % organic ingredients, created with the upmost quality.
The Mangia's family stand by it and we give it our seal of approval bringing to you a taste of Italy right here in your kitchen.
Mr Mangia Marinara sauce
"From Nature to your belly, just like how your mom used to make it.
This is how I would revise, off the top of my head...
Ciao New York!
This is Mrs. Mangia here, and my husband Luigi and I want to introduce you to our legendary family sauce, Mr. Mangia Marinara Sauce.
It's made from all natural ingredients, just like mama used to make!
Now you can have a real taste of Italy right in your own kitchen with Mr. Mangia Marinara Sauce, the Mangia family only stands for the finest, freshest ingredients with no added sugars or preservatives, which means an all natural, healthy option for you and your family.
From the vine to your dinner table, Mr. Mangia, just like mama used to make!
Hired! I like the revision.
The first one is grammatically incorrect - which I guess is fine for a radio ad but I think "dumb Italian"/ginzo so I find it a little insulting.
etd. I know people that speak like that so it's probably more believable but it's not my preference.
Message edited 11/11/2008 10:34:33 PM.
|
| Posted 11/11/08 10:33 PM |
| |
|
