Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

Do you ever just lose patience?

Megan has been a COMPLETE NIGHTMARE in the middle of the night for a month now. She wakes up EVERY night and stays awake either crying, screaming or just talking for 2 to 3 hours at a time. No infection, no sickness, thank goodness. She just wants to come in the bed with me. She is EXTREMELY CLINGY these days, more so than she has ever been. I refuse to have her get used to coming in the bed. I have tried EVERYTHING! Letting her cio, doesnt work. I have tried, noise machines, nightlights, talking to her, singing to her, ignoring her in the hopes she would go right back, I moved her crib to a different spot in the room, I even stuck my hand through the slats to hold her hand, which quiets her down but doesnt get her to go back.

Last night was the worst. Up from 2-6. I didnt go to sleep until 6 30 this morning. I was literally crying because I was so tired. My dh's version of helping is..Shhh Megan, go to sleep. Well obviously if that worked, she would have been sleeping 3 hours ago right??????? I kiss her, reassure her, hug her, pat her, even shake the crib gently..nope, doesnt work.

So last night..at around 5 30...I was crying, she was screaming. I couldnt take it. I loudly told her to LAY DOWN AND GO TO SLEEP..she screamed..I felt bad but got up and laid her back down. I didnt do it roughly, I didnt scream..but I DID lose patience. It was a different tone, definately. My dariling husband screams at me that she is crying because I am too hostile with her!!!!!! Too hostile??????????????? OMG..I couldnt believe it. I wanted to smack him! Everyone loses their patience every now and then right???? I didnt hit her, scream at her, leave her. But I am too hostile??????????????????

I am so angry..even to this moment. I am not speaking to him at all. He does NOTHING to help..I let him get his sleep in the weeknights cause he has to go to work early in the morning..and I am too hostile??? I never get a break and when I do, its like right now while he walks with her up and down outside..he will be in a minute I am sure telling me he has to do something else.

I just needed to vent..am I really the only one who is at their wits end sometimes??? Because he made me feel like an AWFUL, ABUSIVE mother..which I am so not!

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

Don't feel bad. We have all been through it. I have a very difficult almost 4 year old, and am 8 months pg.

My patience is soooooooo low now!!! I try, but she is killing me lately.

Try to get away by yourself, even for an hour. Get a manicure, go to the book store, or just go for a walk. It will definately help.

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MOM!

Everybody has rough moments, EVERYONE. I don't care if their child is an angel 99% of the time.

Sometimes DH's say the dumbest things.

As for advice as to what to do, i don't have any. CIO is working for us but it is so hard to do. Some nights are better than others though. But i am sticking with it as best as i can.

MANY HUGS

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

Everyone has a breaking point! You are a wonderful Mom, don't give it a second thought. I hope she lets you get some rest tonight.

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

Can you elaborate on "Letting her cio, doesnt work." Sounds to me like you are at your breaking point anf reasonably so!!

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

you are a wonderful mom! tell your dh to go fly a kite!

i have been so loosing my patients with my ds and eating. it sucks but it's normal.

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

I lose my patience every so often & turn into "that mom". It was easy when they were babies, even the beginning of the toddler period. Once toddlerhood started & pre-school...ugh!

Everyone loses their patience. When I do it, I do apologize (my kids are older) & explain how I should try to be more patient or that I was frustrated. Everyone is human & has a breaking point. It's not so bad that a child sees that.

I was raised by a screaming mom. She wasn't abusive & absolutely loved us. I need real people in my life. No one wants the Stepford mom.

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

PLEASE....We have ALL been there!!!!

I do it more often then I care to admit.

And I feel awful but I say Im sorry even if he doesnt understand that and I try to calm down. But it happens.

Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture remember. It makes you crazy and frustrated and its OK.

My DH is the same way though. He says the same things " go to sleep now" ...Um yea..That will work Im sure.

So I understand how frustrating that is too.

Hang in there, Im SURE this is just a phase that will be over before you know it!

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

I feel bad too but I too lose my patience often with my two year old. He can be so challenging sometimes but we all do it.

Don't feel so bad especially since you were soooooo tired. It happens - you are human.

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

I have definitely yelled enough to shock me. An interesting thing I read, is that when a parent yells and screams like that, they are having a tantrum themselves, b/c they cannot control the situation. Interesting to put ourselves into their shoes.


I know you say that you don't want to, but DS (at about the same age) made it a habit of coming into our bed and I allowed it b/c we were expecting #2 and I wanted a little cuddle time with him. Plus I needed to sleep and that helped. We were able to break it very easy a few months later.

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

rewind back to 11 months old.

still never sleeping through the night, I was spent. I said a few mean words like "Josh lay down now and get to sleep....you make me want to runaway"

well....Leo(who was also in the bed) staged an intervention with me the following day.

I am too mean to the baby, I should never say things like that.

oh really??????

well, if I am the mean one, you are the a-hole laying there letting someone be mean to a baby instead of getting up and doing something.

we did not speak to each other for 3 days.

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

You are not a bad mom! We all lose our patience - esp if you have been up almost every night for a month!!!!!

How long do you let her cry for? Is she in hysterics or will she cry, then stop and then start again?

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

You are a GREAT mom. I think you are just getting sleep deprived, and its ok .

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

Your going to lose your patients at one time or another through your childs life.. You Have to walk away the best thing is to remove yourself from them for even five minutes to go into the bathroom or your room cry,relax do whatever you have to do in there and get it together then g back to them with a clear head...I have had to do this myself I have a 4 yr old who like to try my patients and a 1 yr old and Im 5 1/2 months pregnant so my patients are tried already..
Goodluck and hopefully you will get some sleep soon..

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

You are a great MOM!

You are not alone because we've all had these moments ourselves. There have been times where I've lost my patience and my cool. Once I have calmed down I hug and kiss my DS.

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

You are a wonderful mom!!!!!!!!!!

We have all done it!!!!!!!!! Any chance to take a day away? Let DH deal for a day by himself.

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

We've ALL been there, don't be so hard on yourself

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

If it makes you feel better, I had a meltdown moment last month. Johnny smacked my face out of anger (something he had not done in a very long time) and I grabbed his hand and sort of smacked it back down..not hard enough to hurt but hard enough to let him know it was NOT NICE.

I had hit a breaking point. Being tired, dealing with a cranky toddler etc....DH told me not to use force with him and it wasn't appropriate. You would have thought i hit the kid....I said "try being home with him all week and having him swat at you, it gets pretty old...".

Anyway it'll pass....but you did nothing wrong. I'd be really upset too if my kid was up for that long, especially at this age...She may be going through just separation anxiety right now again...I don't know...I really hope it passes, that sleepless feeling is awful!

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

Message edited 2/25/2022 9:27:07 AM.

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

You know that I have also. It makes you feel like poop when we yell at them, especially if we scare them enough that they yell back because they are not used to it. We have all done and I am sure all of our parents have done it to us. It happens, you are human as superhuman as moms are we do have a breaking point.

As for DH, something seems to happen to many of them once we slip the ring on their fingers, they become king of stupid comments and foot and the mouth disease. IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE

Re: Do you ever lose your patience?? Very long..so upset!

Oh boy have I been there many times. We are human. Losing your patience at time is normal, ESPECIALLY when sleep deprived. It's amazing how different you react to situations when you are not getting any sleep compared to when you have a full night.

You were not hostile. Don't listen to DH.

You are a great mommy and this is going to happen from time to time. I always try to take deep breaths and not just walk away when I feel that I will lose my cool.

Hang in there. And I hope you can get a full nights sleep soon!!!

Message edited 7/13/2008 9:07:53 AM.