Awful parenting moment..with vent and question..

Well tonight, Megan gave me a run for my money! She was off the wall. She didnt nap today and I guess that is why. She was all over the place, hyper and loud.

My mom and sister came over and I decided to give her a plate of strawberries with just a touch of whipped cream for her dessert. Sit her in the highchair..go to pull the highchair over and realize the tray wasnt locked in and it flew off. Plate filled with strawberries and whipped cream go flying!!!!!!! I was SO FRUSTRATED! I threw the tray down and said I am done tonight! Well in doing so, I must have scared her and she started to SCREAM AND CRY! Now Megan doesnt usually do that. NOTHING bothers her. She is a tough cookie but I guess when I threw the tray down in anger (awful parenting moment there I admit) she was taken aback. The instant that she started screaming, I scooped her up. I started to cry because I upset her so much. It was just a bad scene.

So my mom comes in the kitchen and says give her to me. I didnt answer at first. I was hugging her and trying to calm her down. Then she said...you scared her, and put her arms out to take her. Megan started to go to her BUT I wanted to make sure she knew that I was sorry and wasnt angry with her. So I told my mom, this is my fault shes upset, let me explain it to her. My mom got all offended and stormed into the living room and wouldnt speak to me all night long.

I feel bad that I hurt her feelings BUT I felt like it was my place as Megans mother to explain to her why I was angry, to say sorry and just to comfort her. I was in no way keeping Megan from her. It was an awful moment for me and I was so upset that I got so frustrated like that. I needed to come down from it too.

Do you think I was wrong? Should I have handed Megan over to my mom? My mom kept saying, shes upset, let me take her. I kept asking myself, if shes upset, why am I not good enough to handle it? Shes my daughter!

Suffice it to say, my mom left angry. I guess she feels like I was telling her she wasnt as good as me at that moment, which I wasnt at all. But I think back to the days when I was little and my precious Gram was alive and I KNOW for a fact that my mom would have done the same in that situation. I texter her and said I was sorry if I hurt her feelings..but no answer. This parenting stuff is all about feeling guilty constantly huh?

Re: Awful parenting moment..with vent and question..

I think your mom was trying to help and knew you were frustrated and maybe wanted to give you a chance to walk away and cool down.

That being said, I still think it was right that you apologized to your DD and let her know that yes, mommys get upset sometimes, but we still love them and it wasn't her fault.

Trust me, I've blown up enough times. Less then I could count on one hand but I know how bad it gets to you, it's so hard to see them scared because you yelled or reactd too loudly.

I hope you get a good nights sleep and have a better day tomorrow.

Re: Awful parenting moment..with vent and question..

You weren't wrong at all, your mom should of understood that you wanted to talk to your daughter and calm her down, she should of just walked into the other room and left you alone, not storm off and get all upset.

Re: Awful parenting moment..with vent and question..

Im surprised that your mom was offended, she should have been proud of you for admitting that you felt guilty/responsible for Megan's reaction/frustration. and that you wanted to handle it as her mommy. (any other mom might have said "Yes take her please!" kwim?

aww, noreen, you have no fault here, youre human, and you even "caught yourself"and got yourself back together when you started to crumble..
it happens to all of us, but we all dont always handle is wonderfully as you did.

Message edited 9/22/2008 11:01:51 PM.

Re: Awful parenting moment..with vent and question..

I don't think there was a right or wrong at that moment.

if your mom is holding a grudge, then at this point, she is wrong.