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bpmom
Feeling Blessed
Member since 6/07 2963 total posts
Name:
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Au Pair vs Nanny discussion
Today I was at a playdate/event and ended up talking to an au pair (sp?) and was asking her what the difference is between an au pair and a nanny.
Ironically, a nanny nearby then chimed in with her thoughts, too.
Seems the difference is $$$ -- the aupairs make $200/wk plus room, board and some education paid for. The nanny, of course, would get better and can live in/out.
The aupair then started complaining about the family she's working with and was saying some pretty terrible things about the parents she's living with - even with the mom attending the same playdate. 
I would love to have a nanny/au pair but thought I couldn't afford it. Are au pairs really paid that low?
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Posted 11/24/10 4:10 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Au Pair vs Nanny discussion
Au pairs are NOT nannies. The base of the whole concept is for young women to go overseas, go to classes and learn about the Country they have chosen. The program is based on hosting families. And in exchange for boarding/meals, they are asked to contribute to the household and helping with the children.
Unfortunatelly even since the program started, a lot of misled young women and misinformed hosting family make the program not as successful as it should be.
Lots of young women leave before they are due to leave. Feeling like they are treated as slaves since they are essentially "free" except for boarding they are doing the job of a live in Nanny minus the $$$$.
It is not what they are supposed to do.
Hosting families hear about this "cheap" labor and think it's the greatest thing. Not understanding what the real reason of au pair is.
There are cost involved in hiring an au pair. Usually an agency fee.
Message edited 11/24/2010 4:59:54 PM.
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| Posted 11/24/10 4:30 PM |
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Erica
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 11767 total posts
Name:
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Re: Au Pair vs Nanny discussion
I also thought you had to provide transportation for an au pair?
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| Posted 11/24/10 4:40 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Au Pair vs Nanny discussion
The upfront costs of an au pair are higher. I believe $5-10k. I don't think it is that much cheaper; the costs are just spent differently. Room & board is probably worth about $1k/month.
The people I know who have had an au pair experience seem pretty satisfied. Personally I wouldn't want someone living with us.
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| Posted 11/24/10 4:40 PM |
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KartveliT
...
Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
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Re: Au Pair vs Nanny discussion
Posted by smdl
Au pairs are NOT nannies. The base of the whole concept is for young women to go overseas, go to classes and learn about the Country they have chosen. The program is based on hosting families. And in exchange for boarding/meals, they are asked to contribute to the household and helping with the children.
Unfortunatelly even since the program started, a lot of misled young women and misinformed hosting family make the program not as successful as it should be.
Lots of young women leave before they are do to leave. Feeling like they are treated as slaves since they are essentially "free" except for boarding they are doing the job of a live in Nanny minus the $$$$.
It is not what they are supposed to do.
Hosting families hear about this "cheap" labor and think it's the greatest thing. Not understanding what the real reason of au pair is.
There are cost involved in hiring an au pair. Usually an agency fee.
I agree with everything you posted.
I actually know someone overseas who is a VP of a company that provides families with AuPairs . She's been working there for 10+yrs and she told me once that for some reason Au Pair system does not work in America, most girls complain about being treated like "cheap labor" and as smdl posted they go back before they are due to go back bc of this. 
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| Posted 11/24/10 4:47 PM |
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bpmom
Feeling Blessed
Member since 6/07 2963 total posts
Name:
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Re: Au Pair vs Nanny discussion
The poor au pair looked so unhappy and said she had only been with this family for a few weeks and already felt like she wanted to switch to a new family. The nanny and I both told her that she shouldn't stick it out because no one would benefit from an unhappy caretaker watching the children.
We have an awesome pt babysitter who has known older DS since he was 3 months old but I know I couldn't afford her FT...
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| Posted 11/24/10 5:36 PM |
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Merf99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3380 total posts
Name:
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Re: Au Pair vs Nanny discussion
Au pair's are usually young women too - they are coming to the US to go to school and see the country, make friends, etc. I think they are only supossed to work 45 hours a week, go to school. I think you are also supossed to provide them a car. And their primary job is to take care of the kids. Nannies can range in all ages, live-in or out, higher salary, can do more things like housework.
And like someone said, au pair's salaries are low because you pay a big fee upfront with an agency.
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| Posted 11/24/10 9:13 PM |
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KartveliT
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Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
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Re: Au Pair vs Nanny discussion
Posted by Merf99
Nannies can range in all ages, live-in or out, higher salary, can do more things like housework.
This is true, but keep in mind that it's not a nanny's (or au pair's) job to do any housework other than keep kids room neat and maybe do their laundry. I do know some nannies who take care of kids AND do housework and even cook. but they are not supposed to and employers shouldn't ask them to, not part of a nanny's job ... I feel like so many families take advantage of their nannies/babysitters/aupairs...
Message edited 11/25/2010 7:45:57 PM.
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| Posted 11/24/10 10:12 PM |
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ChrisDee
My Girls
Member since 11/06 9543 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Au Pair vs Nanny discussion
My friends have an Au Pair that they got from an Au Pair Service. She was born and rasied in Michigan Her parents are Polish Nationals which somehow made her qualify as an Au Pair
Anyway, she is an awesome 23 year old girl. She lives with them and cares for their 2 kids. I believe she is paid about $2,000 per month. Which was $200 less than the Daycare that they wanted. She makes the kids meals when she is working, she does the kids laundry and cleans up after the kids. She is available for additional sitting outside of her work hours for additional pay.
They LOVE her, she loves them. She tears up when the conversation comes up about when she will leave them.
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| Posted 11/24/10 10:28 PM |
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Merf99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3380 total posts
Name:
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Re: Au Pair vs Nanny discussion
Posted by tatuka
Posted by Merf99
Nannies can range in all ages, live-in or out, higher salary, can do more things like housework.
This is true, but keep in mind that it's not a nanny's (or au pair's) job to do any housework other than keep kids room neat and maybe do their laundry. I do know some nannies who take care of kids AND do housework and even cook. but they are not supposed to and employers shouldn't ask them to, not part of a nanny's job ... I feel like so many families take advantage of their nannies/babysitters/aupairs...
Actually, not true that a nanny's job is not doing housework. If you make an agreement with your nanny before they start, then it's fine as long as both parties agree. My nanny does housework when DD #1 is in school and DD # 2 is sleeping. Or if I'm working from home and I can take DD #2 while the older one is at school, she will clean a bit. I'm not talking scrubbing the kitchen floor on her hands and knees but yes, vacuuming and cleaning the bathrooms.
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| Posted 11/25/10 11:40 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Au Pair vs Nanny discussion
Posted by Merf99
Posted by tatuka
Posted by Merf99
Nannies can range in all ages, live-in or out, higher salary, can do more things like housework.
This is true, but keep in mind that it's not a nanny's (or au pair's) job to do any housework other than keep kids room neat and maybe do their laundry. I do know some nannies who take care of kids AND do housework and even cook. but they are not supposed to and employers shouldn't ask them to, not part of a nanny's job ... I feel like so many families take advantage of their nannies/babysitters/aupairs...
Actually, not true that a nanny's job is not doing housework. If you make an agreement with your nanny before they start, then it's fine as long as both parties agree. My nanny does housework when DD #1 is in school and DD # 2 is sleeping. Or if I'm working from home and I can take DD #2 while the older one is at school, she will clean a bit. I'm not talking scrubbing the kitchen floor on her hands and knees but yes, vacuuming and cleaning the bathrooms.
A nanny is just that. A nanny! Not a cleaning person. If you make arrangements with her to help with housework, then it's above and beyond a nanny's job and she should be paid in addition to babysitting. There is no issue with her doing housework but it should be considered ADDITIONAL work not part of her work.
Au pairs can do some light housework because it is part of the program. But in no way are they to be taken advantage which a lot of people do.
I do think aupairs are misled a lot. They are told that they will look after the kids, help with the house and be able to explore the Country. When they arrive, they work a FT job being a nanny and expected to be a cleaning lady. Whille in fact "helping" meant, like at home. Mom cooks, all the girls help clean up the kitchen. Not the aupairs doing it alone as well as bathrooms, etc... Agencies DO know what happens to those girls. Most of them are so unhappy. I mean who signs up to be stuck in the house with kids all day and doing housecleaning and getting a few hours of freedom per week. Some don't even have cars. The dad or mom are the one driving them around so they are really feeling trapped because they feel they must ask all the time to be driven around or must wait for them to be available. And that's unfair.
The problem is that they are also so young. Most of them never did this level of babysitting. I don't think they realize how much work it would be and are disappointed in the lack of "play time" they have.
At the same time, hosting families are thinking about how much cheaper their aupair is compared to a live-in nanny.
Mix hosting families taking advantage and young aupairs without enough freedom and you have a recipe for lots of disappointment on both sides.
Message edited 11/26/2010 6:54:29 AM.
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| Posted 11/26/10 6:52 AM |
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colesmom
Brady's mom too!
Member since 5/05 1989 total posts
Name:
Lea
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Re: Au Pair vs Nanny discussion
We had an au pair from Germany. She was wonderful and became part of our family - in fact she's coming to visit in 3 weeks. There are 2 popular agencies on Long Island, Au Pair Care and Cultural AuPair. There is an upfront fee of approx $8K, then you pay the girls $200-$225 per week cash.
There are several "rules":
45 hour work week, 2 days off per week, every 3rd week needs to have those 2 days be consecutive. They are responsible for cleaning after themselves and the children (playroom, laundry, kids beds); they have to go to school (I think it's 3 credits per semester) and you are responsible for their transportation to/from school only. You do NOT have to give them a car (we had one available for her after we were comfortable with her driving because it gave her more freedom and it was nice for all of us to get a break from each other). They have monthly meetings/GTGs with their coordinator. There was a great group of girls that became close friends - I'm still very close with 2 of the other au pairs - I often felt like a sorority house mother.
I will say that you need to be comfortable with someone living in your house, using your kitchen, truly making themselves at home. We have a guest suite away from our living area, so it was nice for everyone to have their own space. Even still there were occasional tense times. Feel free to FM with questions. :)
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| Posted 11/26/10 8:22 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Au Pair vs Nanny discussion
Posted by colesmom
We had an au pair from Germany. She was wonderful and became part of our family - in fact she's coming to visit in 3 weeks. There are 2 popular agencies on Long Island, Au Pair Care and Cultural AuPair. There is an upfront fee of approx $8K, then you pay the girls $200-$225 per week cash.
There are several "rules":
45 hour work week, 2 days off per week, every 3rd week needs to have those 2 days be consecutive. They are responsible for cleaning after themselves and the children (playroom, laundry, kids beds); they have to go to school (I think it's 3 credits per semester) and you are responsible for their transportation to/from school only. You do NOT have to give them a car (we had one available for her after we were comfortable with her driving because it gave her more freedom and it was nice for all of us to get a break from each other). They have monthly meetings/GTGs with their coordinator. There was a great group of girls that became close friends - I'm still very close with 2 of the other au pairs - I often felt like a sorority house mother.
I will say that you need to be comfortable with someone living in your house, using your kitchen, truly making themselves at home. We have a guest suite away from our living area, so it was nice for everyone to have their own space. Even still there were occasional tense times. Feel free to FM with questions. :)
I know a few people that use Cultural Care & love them. There are very clear with both sides (parents & au pairs) on their expectations. They also had nannies from Germany with the best experiences.
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| Posted 11/26/10 8:44 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Au Pair vs Nanny discussion
I was an Au Pair in France.
I had just graduated college and wanted to immerse myself in French Culture since I had taken French since junior high all the way through college and STILL hadn't picked up the language very well.
I had a lot of babysitting experience, but no training in child care or child development.
I watched a 14 month old boy (Felix). The mom was SAHM who was pregnant.
I either accompanied them while they did errands or watched him at home while they went out. They went away some weekends and it was just me and Felix.
I did light housekeeping for Felix (laundry, ironing) and cooked and fed him.
I took a language class some mornings and had off on Tuesday and Sunday.
I got paid 1600 francs a month (about $300 at the time).
Started out great but the ish hit the fan with the crazy husband and I ended up leaving in tears and stayed at a hostel through the end of the program with some girls from my class. But, that's another story.
I think the biggest difference between a nanny an au pair is that a nanny takes over the child care duties whereas the au pair is supposed to be more of a helper who takes over the duties some of the time, but not full time.
However, that does not seem to be how it operates here.
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| Posted 11/26/10 9:56 AM |
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KartveliT
...
Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
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Re: Au Pair vs Nanny discussion
Posted by smdl
Posted by Merf99
Posted by tatuka
Posted by Merf99
Nannies can range in all ages, live-in or out, higher salary, can do more things like housework.
This is true, but keep in mind that it's not a nanny's (or au pair's) job to do any housework other than keep kids room neat and maybe do their laundry. I do know some nannies who take care of kids AND do housework and even cook. but they are not supposed to and employers shouldn't ask them to, not part of a nanny's job ... I feel like so many families take advantage of their nannies/babysitters/aupairs...
Actually, not true that a nanny's job is not doing housework. If you make an agreement with your nanny before they start, then it's fine as long as both parties agree. My nanny does housework when DD #1 is in school and DD # 2 is sleeping. Or if I'm working from home and I can take DD #2 while the older one is at school, she will clean a bit. I'm not talking scrubbing the kitchen floor on her hands and knees but yes, vacuuming and cleaning the bathrooms.
A nanny is just that. A nanny! Not a cleaning person. If you make arrangements with her to help with housework, then it's above and beyond a nanny's job and she should be paid in addition to babysitting. There is no issue with her doing housework but it should be considered ADDITIONAL work not part of her work.
Au pairs can do some light housework because it is part of the program. But in no way are they to be taken advantage which a lot of people do.
once again ITA.
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| Posted 11/26/10 11:55 AM |
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