Anyone else feel remotely similar or have thoughts????

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Message edited 5/14/2007 8:57:51 AM.

Re: Anyone else feel remotely similar or have thoughts????

I was exactly like you, but with a boy - I DREADED having a boy - plus, we didnt find out, and I'm glad we didnt because I think I would have been disappointed if I found out I was having a boy before I met my baby!

But as SOON as they said - its a boy, and I took a look at him, it was like all those feelings were magically erased - its hard to explain. I looked at him, and he was my baby boy, and that was it...

The funny thing is, I wanted a girl for the same exact reason why you don't - I had a horrible relationship with my mom, and we are estranged now - she doesnt even know about my baby - and I wanted a girl so I can have that relationship we didn't... But it was obviously not in the cards for me this time around....

Everything happens for a reason - whatever you wind up with will be for the best reason, and you will love this baby no matter what. I can completely relate because I spent many sleepless nights thinking - oh god, what if its a boy? And now I stare at him as he sleeps and think, I wouldnt trade him for any girl now!!!

Hope this helps!

Re: Anyone else feel remotely similar or have thoughts????

You are not alone. I am terrified of having a boy... but for different reasons.

I am afraid that I will not be able to connect with a boy after losing my son last year.

Don't get me wrong, like you, more than anyting I just want a baby that is healthy. Especially after everything that I've been through. This is just something that I am afraid of.

Re: Anyone else feel remotely similar or have thoughts????

Thank you so much for replying!

I feel so shallow and ungrateful.

It's nice to know I'm not alone.

Re: Anyone else feel remotely similar or have thoughts????

I feel the same way but at the same time I think that these are honest fears and feelings. Sometimes expressing them to someone (especially a stranger) help you get more clarity on the situation.

Re: Anyone else feel remotely similar or have thoughts????

I actually don't see myself being a mom to a boy! But that doesn't mean that I would prefer one over the other...since its my first child, I really just want it to be a healthy and happy baby. There are so many misfortunes out there that as Im finally holding my baby I will be thanking God that it is healthy and it has all of its 10 fingers and 10 toes.

Re: Anyone else feel remotely similar or have thoughts????

all i wanted with my first was a boy...i had some silly reasons....but they were valid to me.

-girls are moody biotches when they hit puberty
-girls get their hearts broken and will want me to make it better...if i have a boy, he probably deserved it.
-boys don't get pregnant
-did i mention the moody biotch thing?
-i can get out of potty training...hee.

really i just didn't want to have to "deal" with a moody teenage girl.

i had a girl. i couldn't be happier!

now i don't want a boy with this baby b/c i don't want to have to see his "stuff" when i open up his diaper...or figure out potty training him! somehow i just feel dirty changing a boy these days. wacky, i know.

Re: Anyone else feel remotely similar or have thoughts????

Your feelings are so genuine, I admire your honesty and willingness to share!


I can honestly say, before I got pregnant, I had the same thoughts as you. I wanted boys, 3 of them! I must've said this my whole life. It's not that I don't love my Mom or that we have a bad relationship, but, she does not show much emotion (I can't even tell if she's excited about this baby)??
Growing up, I feel that her standoffish ways and having to be both my Father and my Mother have made me have difficulties in the past having relationships with girls. My entire family is made up of women, all my cousins. It's been great, but I'm so different, I barely relate to any of them on a "girl"/"woman" level.

The day I found out I was having a girl, I was overjoyed beyond words. I have been blessed and as long as she is healthy, I will do whatever is in my power to raise a loving, happy little girl who will one day blossom into a beautiful woman. She will know every day of her life how much I love her. (Unlike me who had to play the guessing game my whole life.) She will know how much I love her Father and how much her Father loves her. So, anything in my life and my issues won't be passed on to her. (Let's see how I do- a little nervous, but looking forward to it).

You will love your child simply b/c it's your child. Regardless of what happened in your past, present or what will happen in your future. Boy or girl.

Re: Anyone else feel remotely similar or have thoughts????

No matter what anyone says your feelings are valid.
There is a whole website I found with people that feel this way.

http://www.in-gender.com/Gender_Disappointment/


Edited to say: No matter what gender you have you will love your child, relate to them and care for them. each baby (boy or girl) is such a tiny little miracle.

Message edited 4/19/2007 10:52:20 AM.

Re: Anyone else feel remotely similar or have thoughts????

I didn't have a close relationship with my mom either.

I use the experience I had with my mom to do BETTER with my girls and not to do them what my mom did to me. So hopefully things will be different with them than they were with my mom.

I wanted boys as long as i can remember cause how i was as a teenager, but I wouldn't trade my DD and my second one to come FOR ANYTHING! With my second pg, i was praying it was another girl.

I couldn't see my life any other way.

Re: Anyone else feel remotely similar or have thoughts????

No, I just hope to have a healthy baby. I honestly don't care if it is a boy or a girl, either will be a blessing.