Advice on neighbor situation

Hello,
I would appreciate any advice on this situation. I live in an apartment building, and our walls are not thick. In the next apartment lives a family with three children (ages 7-13-ish) and two parents that scream at the kids a lot. I admit, I have no idea what it is like to have three older kids, since I have only a sweet 6 month old, but the mother's screaming is really getting to me.
First of all, it is ALL the time, morning, noon, night. It has gotten a little better since school started, but only because it is quiet from 8-3.
Secondly, it is cruel. I have heard comments like these...
"Everyone thinks I'm the worst mother in the world because you won't do what I say"
"Now you've ruined my day."
"That's why you go to a school for dumb kids"
"You ruin everything"
The straw that broke the camels back is that the screaming was at 6:50 this morning, when I was trying to sleep. It woke me up, and our bedroom is the furthest from their apartment. It also may have woken DD, who shares a wall with this family (I heard her crying this morning at that time). Luckily, it stopped after about 10 minutes, adn we were both able to get back to sleep.

I am a very shy person, and don't feel comfortable talking to my neighbor, or criticizing her parenting techniques. I don't know what to say or how to say it. My DH thinks it doesn't affect us, so we shouldn't say anything. We are planning on moving in June, so it is not a forever thing. He also thinks if this mother had any other parenting techniques, she would use them- that she doesn't know what else to do but scream and holler.

But I feel like if it wakes me from sleep, it is affecting us. Should I write a note? Complain to the manager? Am I right to be mad? PLEASE help!!!!

Re: Advice on neighbor situation

I was a Property manager for a Luxury apartment community for years. I am going to give advice as a manager first.

My advice, don't approach them youself, that would only do more harm than good. No one like to be confronted, especially if you aren't friendly with them.

I would casually approach the property manager of the apartment community and just mention your concerns, not about what's going on there, but how it's disrupting you about the yelling and screaming. The manager would not be able to do anything about the alledged "abuse" there. If you feel there's abuse going on, def call the police yourself anonomously.

If i were the manager and i got a noise complaint, i would speak to the party who was making the noise about controlling voice levels before 8am and after 10pm (those were the official no nonense quiet hours at my community). Otherwise, I have to stay the yelling after or before those hours, a manager can't do anything about.

Apartment living is rough and this is one of those things that go with it...Loud neighbors.

As a mommy, these type things break my heart and there's no reason to call your kids names. Being a mommy of two, yes it can rough sometimes and yes i've felt frustrated, but i would never call my kids names or scream like that.

I'm soo sorry you have to go through this

I'd feel so powerless and really feel for those kids..

Message edited 10/18/2007 11:26:36 AM.

Re: Advice on neighbor situation

That's why you go to a school for dumb kids"
Who says that to a child??? Shes an @$$... if i was that child my response is "the apple doesnt fall far from the tree mom"...

Re: Advice on neighbor situation

Thanks so much for the good advice (and the hugs). I didn't say anything to the property manager today, but I think if it happens again, I will speak up and now I know who to talk to.
Thanks!

Re: Advice on neighbor situation

i don't think going directly to your neighbors would work out for the best. If you really get pushed to the point where you need to say something, then deal with the building manager. It must be frustrating, and you may not parent the same way, but this mom is not doing anything "illegal" and confronting her could just get ugly.

Re: Advice on neighbor situation

I wouldn't recommend complaining period if you rent from Fairfield. I could go on and on about this, but I complained about my music blaring, pot smoking inconsiderate new neighbor, several times and *I* ultimately had MY lease terminated while I was 8 months pregnant because of
"my harrassment"