3 year old temper tantrums

I have a bit of a problem that I am really trying to get some help with mabey you guys can help??....

Well My 3 year old daughter Alexa is such a wonderful baby she helps me all the time when ever I need her and is so smart in every way, and will do anything to see me and everyone else she comes into contact with to smile but here's the problem she throughs some of the craziest Temper Tantrums i have ever seen sometimes she has one because she is tired and sometimes she has one beacuse she isnt getting her way or if i tell her to sharing with her younger brother. I have tried everything like yelling which DOESNT WORK to giving in also DOESNT WORK. I have tryed to get her to calm down by speaking calm but she just yells harder at me, it's so hard for me to see her go through this b/c i cant help her it's breaking my heart I know she is little and has no idea why she is doing this but when i ignore her it can take up to an hour for me to stand there and make like i cant hear her but thats not far for my son..it takes time away from him b/c when this happens it's easier to deal with her alone so i put him in the play room so i can calm her down. These temper tantrums dont happen all the time but when they do i try to see what brought her to that point and try to prevent it but i find myself giving in to whatever she wants, but i dont think thats good for her i feel it will only spoil her then she knows how to get what she wants and if she doesnt she knows how to fight for it... Mabey someone has some ideas for me to help understand her... Thanks

Re: 3 year old temper tantrums

This is all coming from Super Nanny...she used to do this in most of her episodes and it seemed to work...

Come down to her level and tell her that if she continues to yell, she's going to be punished. If she continues, designate a spot where she'll sit or stand until she stops and her time is up. She's 3, so I'd put her in this spot for 3 minutes. Let her scream, cry, whatever...as long as she doesn't move from the spot. If she does move, bring her back and tell her to stay on the spot. When the time is up, go over to her and explain why she was punished and have her apologize to you for screaming.

I'm not looking forward to temper tantrums...

Re: 3 year old temper tantrums

You know -- the advice I was going to give would have came from SuperNanny too so I don't need to re-type wha Stefanie just said.

I hope it gets better!!

Re: 3 year old temper tantrums

Michelle, I feel so bad for you that Lexi is having these tantrums, it brakes my heart to see my niece get so crazy and scream and cry. I would try to do what Stefanie posted about and see if that works. You know me I pray all the time she stops these tantrums, but shes not the only 3 year old that does it, so dont worry! I'm here for you if u need me!

Re: 3 year old temper tantrums

Good luck, I hope it helps...if it does, you can thank Jo Frost (SuperNanny)

Re: 3 year old temper tantrums

great advice, i feel like I might need it as well very soon.

Good luck.

Re: 3 year old temper tantrums

Stefanie me and my DH saw ur post the only thing with Alexa is if I put her anywhere i'll spend all day trying to keep her there she will follow me all around the house my fiend sue does that with her daughter and it works but she has been doing that for a long time with her and she knows when mommy puts me here to stay..With Alexa it's not what i say it's what she says thats always how it's been over here so for me to tell her to stay in a corner until she stops or for 3 min i feell would be impossable..But it's worth another try!! thanks for ur help i hope it works too...

Message edited 4/24/2006 10:26:34 PM.

Re: 3 year old temper tantrums

Now you have to make it...whatever YOU say goes and mommy means business. It will probably hurt you more than it will hurt her (inside you'll feel like you're heart is being ripped out), but in the end, she'll know who the boss is. One thing Supernanny taught was to always be consistant and that is soo important.

When I taught 2nd and 3rd grade, I did the getting down to their level thing and not hover over them and yell. It really worked!! I would talk to these kids in a calm, yet stern voice and even though I felt bad reprimanding them, in the long run, they had the greatest respect for me and they knew I meant business. Of course it's different with your own children, but it just proves that it does work on kids.

Message edited 4/24/2006 10:43:43 PM.

Re: 3 year old temper tantrums

My daughter (almost 4 ) did the same thing about that age. I would ignore it. I know you said you try and she would go on for ever but in the beginning she would be the same way. I would put her either on the couch or on a chair and make sure she didnt get off until she would stop the screaming and could talk about what the problem was. Once she was quiet I would then go over to her and ask her why she was so upset if that was the issue or tell her why she couldnt do something. Sometimes she would freak out again and I would just walk away or sometimes she would get it and we would hug and she would go back to playing. But it is VERY important to be consistant and to not give in to any of the screaming fits, no matter how hard it is. Just remember, it will get worse before it gets better. Kids are very very smart and they are constantly testing their limits. I know how hard it is to listen to a screaming child

Re: 3 year old temper tantrums

I'll back the SuperNanny advice - but add that the same advice came from a child psychologist. We use a "Thinking Chair", where Joseph needs to "think about better ways" to get what he wants or to talk to us. We use 4 minutes (he's 4 years old), put him in the chair & ignore him. He gets an additional minute if he gets up or if he continues to scream. It's not perfect. We're not always consistent, but it's definitely changed things. It works for Maddie too.

I've also but myself in time out, when I was really angry. I think it was helpful for him to see me try to calm down too. He told me what a good job I did.

Re: 3 year old temper tantrums

Thanks everyone for the help lets see how things go!!! Wish me Luck!!

Re: 3 year old temper tantrums

Good Luck!!