What would you do?

Hi! I am new here but already realize what a great resource you all can be. I am hoping you can help me.... I am a new mom. My daughter was born on July 1st.

Recently a good friend (and groomsmen in my wedding a few years ago) informed me that he and his fiance set a wedding date. The problem is that the date is my daughters 1 year birthday and the wedding is in Canada where they live. Although we (the friend and I) are not as close as we used to be when we worked together and he lived in New York, both my husband and I still consider him a great guy and good friend. While I don't won't to miss the wedding, I also feel funny about not spending my daughters first birthday with her. I've always thought that 1st birthdays were extra special and should be spent with family and friends at a party in honor of the occasion. I realize that the party could still take place on another day but there's just something about her being in NY and my husband and I being in Canada without her on such an important day. At the same time, I also feel like what kind of friend would I be to miss such an important event as a wedding??? Am I being silly??? What would you do? Suggestions
PS: It's an adult wedding so bringing her is out of the question and my husband and I don't know anyone in Canada that could watch her.

Re: What would you do?

I would probably go to the wedding and bring along someone to care for her during the festivities. Then celebrate with family and friends upon returning to NY.

Tough call, ....

Re: What would you do?

I wouldnt go. Yes, you are friends with this person but your child will only have her 1st birthday 1 time in her life. But its JMO Im a sentimental freak

Re: What would you do?

Being that the wedding is so far away, I'd skip the wedding. If it was local, I would it would be a different story.

Re: What would you do?

I would not go, however I would send them a really nice card and gift. Too far to be away from your baby especially on her Very special day.

Your friends might be PO at first, but hopefully one day they will be blessed with a child and totally understand.

Re: What would you do?

I also forgot to mention it not only about the parents sharing her birthday. Grandparents, aunts, uncles etc... also are going to want to share her 1st Birthday! My family would have freaked out if they couldn't spend Andrew's 1st Bday with him.

Have asked your family, what do they think?

Re: What would you do?

Is there a possibility that you could make it more of a fmaily vacation? Maybe your parents and inlaws could travel with you? This was the family gets to spend your daughters birthday togather and you get to go the wedding. You could have the party the week before.

Re: What would you do?

I would spend the time withyour daughter she only turns 1 once. JMO its a very special milestone in her life. Your friends should understand. Unless you can invite your parents and inlaws and go as a family and have a little celebration together then you can go to the wedding and when you get back h ave a big 1st b-day party for her.

Re: What would you do?

This situation happened to me, but I was the bride and it was a friend's granddaughter. The friend chose to have his granddaughter's first birthday party and not attend my wedding. I wasn't mad, just disappointed. But I realized that people have things that are more important than my wedding, and it's not like he didn't want to be there. I think he made the right decision.