Questions about approval

Hi and sorry for the fake name but i needed to remain private regarding my question.

My DH and I have talked about adoption loosely and will know where our infertility journey will lead us in a few months, possible leading us to the path of adoption.

So i have started looking into some websites and saw something that worries me. One agency had a "list" of criteria or rules and am wondering if some things may keep us from being able to adopt.

My DH was arrested (over 10 yrs ago) for a fight - the charges were dropped and he was told he has a clean record. Is this something that could be a problem? Would the agency know about this or we would be required to advise them?

Also I take an anti-depressent for PMDD (really bad PMS) and there was one agency that specifically said the applicants cant have mental health issues or be on medication so im wondering if this would be an issue. Would they know what medications im taking? Just because i have bad PMS doesnt make me crazy but the meds do help so im not a grumpy biotch for a week out of the month.

Thanks for any help here - it didnt dawn on me until i started checking these sites that maybe adoption isnt even an option - that we could possible be denied and i just want to prepare myself for what could be ahead or be prepared on what might be asked of us and the best way to approach it.

Re: Questions about approval

I too have just begun researching adoption as an option. My understanding with situations like these is that it depends on the country you're hoping to adopt from. I think certain countries have more strident rules about who can adopt from them than others.

The agency I spoke to just told us to be upfront with them during the registration process and they'd be able to guide us around any potential issues.
HTH!

Re: Questions about approval

Re: Questions about approval

Thanks for the responses!!

Im thinking we would probably adopt domestic not international so would the rules be US rules or still by agency?

Thanks for any help!

Re: Questions about approval

I think both. I've just started my research and have only been to one adoption agency seminar. The one I went to had some pretty specific guidelines about domestic adoption - such as adopters must be ok with some level of open adoption. I'm guessing it's the same with the homestudy guidelines as well.
Private adoption might be an option if you are concerned. But you could chat with a couple of agencies to see what the deal is.

Re: Questions about approval

I think there is a little less rules about domestic than international, and private vs agency.

But I think either way a background check is required, and we had to have FBI clearance. I dont know if your DHs record would come up

Re: Questions about approval

Whether or not you adopt US or Internationally there are rules and pros/cons for each type of adoption. Each county has their own rules, the US has some and if you adopt in the US then the birth parents are allowed to have their own set as well ie: only wanting a married couple or only wanting a mom who will not work, only wanting the baby raised a specific religion etc..

The fight 10 years ago should not an issue- it was cleared. Your medication may or may not be an issue for some countries or some US birth parents. All adoptive parents must have background checks, finger prints taken, social worker report(s) (home studies they are called) and medical clearance from a doctor (basically saying that you are not dying of some awful disease or trying to find a baby for a kidney type stuff).

Once you decide to move towards adoption there are agencies that will ask you to stop all IF treatments. They don't want you to be matched with a child and then "back out" because your IVF worked. Of course, couples do get pregnant while on the journey but that needs to be through "non-medical" ways.

let me know if you ever want to talk about it. I have a bio and an adopted child so I know both journeys, although I did not have IF issues. HUGS