I hate my MIL! She just lied right to my face!

Sorry, this is going to be a long vent, but I'm so angry and just need to blow off some steam!

Yesterday was Sarah's baptism. MIL & FIL came up from Florida to attend. They are *supposedly* Jewish but they never practice. The last time they were in a temple was for a wedding, and before that it was when DH and then BIL were bar mitzvah'd. They never even know when the holy days are until they are invited over to someone's house for dinner.

My grandmother is in her 80's and on a walker. When she saw that the families were invited up to the alter during each child's baptism, she told MIL that she wasn't going up, it's too hard for her to navigate the stairs. MIL told her she's not going either. My aunt, who was helping my grandmother get around yesterday had planned on sitting in the pew with my grandma, but when she heard MIL say she was staying, she asked if MIL would mind if my aunt went up. MIL said no problem, she didn't feel comfortable going up since it's not her religion. (I know all of this b/c my uncle was standing next to my aunt and was using my camcorder to video for us. It's all on tape.)

MIL came over today to see Sarah and starts crying to me about how upset she is that she couldn't go up on the alter but my aunt told her to stay back and watch my grandma. I know this is a lie, I heard the whole conversation when I watched the video today.

I didn't call her out on the lie, I told her that she should have said that she was here for her granddaughter and that she was going up. I also told her that if she's going to refuse to participate in her grandchildren's events, we are not going to invite her any more, since it's just going to hurt Sarah's feelings in the future.

MIL always has to turn everything into something about her if she's not the center of attention. I really hate her!

Re: I hate my MIL! She just lied right to my face!

I'm so sorry to hear that she couldn't rise above and take part in her granddaughter's special day. At least you can take comfort in the fact that you flat out busted her. I commend you for speaking up, you have guts girl!

My brother's girlfriend (who is a practicing jew) acted as a witness for my sister (who lives in TX) during my daughter's baptism. She kept making jokes that when the preacher mentioned Jesus, she thought lightening was going to hit her! She took it all in stride and didn't use religion as an excuse to not be a part of the ceremony (and she's not even married to my brother).

It sounds like you have your hands full with that one and that she is going to give you both some issues down the road. At least you set her straight on what is going to be expected of her in the future. I'm so proud of you and I'm so glad both Sarah and Mommy had a beautiful day!

Re: I hate my MIL! She just lied right to my face!

Thanks. I was just so annoyed. It just popped out when I told her that I wouldn't invite her anymore if she's going to sit out. She looked so shocked!

I don't think she really cares about Sarah, it's all a show. They live in FL and haven't seen her since early March and don't seem that interested in her. The vist in Feb/March (when she was born) was REALLY bad, but I decided to put it behind me and have been going out of my way to be nice to them on the phone up until now and made a big deal about them coming up and how much fun it will be.

They won't pick her up and barely look at her, but then I hear her on her cell phone telling people how much fun they are having playing with her. They stopped by for about 1 hour on Saturday after they flew up, came to the baptism and the restaurant yesterday and then came here for about 30 mins today. I know today was short because of our fight, but yesterday they didn't even talk to her, let alone touch her. THey are so weird. I don't understand how DH is related to them.

Re: I hate my MIL! She just lied right to my face!

Again, I'm so sorry. It's their loss. She is a beautiful, beautiful baby and based on the kind of people the appear to be, she won't even miss them in her life. I don't know why they even bother putting on a display for everyone for pretenses if they are going to act so completely disinterested. Why put forth the effort?

I feel your pain, trust me

Re: I hate my MIL! She just lied right to my face!

Good for you for sticking up for yourself! I can relate with the horrible MIL stories...I've got a million.

It seems as if it's all a big act with her. She's happy to tell others about her granddaughter but when it comes to actually being a grandparent, she's not too good at it. You're better off with her not being a part of your daughter's life...as much as it may hurt your DH...but it's better in the long run.

I really don't like selfish attention getter MIL's...I have one...

Re: I hate my MIL! She just lied right to my face!

Stick up for yourself! I love when things are caught on tape!!!!!!!

Re: I hate my MIL! She just lied right to my face!

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Message edited 11/5/2005 6:58:02 PM.

Re: I hate my MIL! She just lied right to my face!

I would mail her a copy of the video. with a nice little note stating how nice it was for you to take part in your granddaughters day.

Re: I hate my MIL! She just lied right to my face!

I am so sorry you had to go through this and I totally undertand what your going through my MIL is the same way

Re: I hate my MIL! She just lied right to my face!

Re: I hate my MIL! She just lied right to my face!

Wow, this is so unfortunate.

My IL's were sort of the same way when my son was born. They weren't even going to come up from FL for the event - until DH called and BEGGED them, so that someone from HIS side of the family was there. Their reason for not planning to come originally was that "they are not the religious ones."

Well DUH, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!!!

Anyway...I am just sharing this, b/c I totally feel your pain. Except that I would have been a complete ***** about it if my MIL had the balls to LIE to my face...I would have said flat out, that the entire conversation was caught on tape!!

You definitely ARE the bigger person!