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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Need advise - Middle School boy **UPDATE**
My son is in 8th grade. Just an all around good kid. He befriended a boy in 6th grade and my son was so nice to him. In the last couple of years he's introduced him to his friends, was there for him when last year he was quiet and going through some things, etc. My son always considered him a good friend.
my son is short for his age, but we are all on the smaller side. My son is always fine with it. He knows it's a joke with his friends sometimes and he gets it.
The other boy was the same size as him, but had a big growth spurt over the summer. This year that shy boy is now very outgoing and is finding it fun now to pick on my son at any expense. He's suddenly too cool for things, he makes fun of my son any time he can. He texts him rude things like when my son asked if he was going to USY (a youth group for Jewish teens) he responded back... no, it's stupid and you're annoying so I don't want to go.
I just told my son to deal. It's a phase. Ignore him. They have a lot of friends in common so it's hard. They get together at the rec center a lot with a lot of boys to play sports and this boy is always there now too bc they all have same friends.
He asked me to say something to his mom. I really am trying not to bc I want him to deal with it but it's not getting better. My other friend said last year he was going through a tough time and got bullied and his mom was so worried and now he's a new kid and seems to use my son to pick on.
WWYD? I try to stay out of it. They're 13! I'm not that close with the mom besides carpooling or whatever, but in 6th she was so appreciative my son was always there for him and included him
**UPDATE**
Thanks so much for the advise. I did call the mom and she was so sweet and appreciative of me letting her know. She said she also saw some changes in him too. THe other part was my son was also becoming friendlier with another boy who I guess this other boy didn't like or had something with him back in elementary school (my son went to a different elementary school then these boys in the town then they all come together). Anyway she thinks it was some stuff and maybe jealous. Either way she did talk to him and when the boys were together with their friends to play football after the game he came over to my son and was pretty nice (as my son put it) and that he wanted to hang out soon.
I guess we'll see how it goes from here, but glad it's working out. Thanks all again!
Message edited 10/12/2022 8:15:14 AM.
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Posted 10/11/22 6:58 AM  |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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Need advise - Middle School boy
Normally I would agree with you about letting him figure out how to handle it on his own, but I'd also worry about my son getting depressed and anxious. I would probably say something to her - especially since she was so appreciative of your son in the 6th grade. Maybe just a head's up - this is what's going on. If my kid was bullying someone, I'd want to know.
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| Posted 10/11/22 8:09 AM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Need advise - Middle School boy
Posted by Funkybutt
Normally I would agree with you about letting him figure out how to handle it on his own, but I'd also worry about my son getting depressed and anxious. I would probably say something to her - especially since she was so appreciative of your son in the 6th grade. Maybe just a head's up - this is what's going on. If my kid was bullying someone, I'd want to know.
Thank you. I totally get it. I agree... I don't want my son to have to be depressed. Normally I'd just say ignore him, but hard to ignore since they all hang out together. Plus I really think it bothers him most bc he was there so much for this boy. His mom even texted me last year her son wants to go out trick or treating with my son and would it be ok if he goes with my son and all his friends. My son has been going with a big group of boys for years.
Ok, I think I'll say something, but tread lightly. I don't necessarily think it's bullying, but I don't want it to get worse.
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| Posted 10/11/22 8:30 AM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21536 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Need advise - Middle School boy
I would def say something to the boy's mom, especially since your son asked you to.
Hope it gets better!
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| Posted 10/11/22 8:51 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17789 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advise - Middle School boy
Posted by StaceyWill
I would def say something to the boy's mom, especially since your son asked you to.
Hope it gets better!
Same - normally I wouldn't interfere but my son wouldn't ask me to talk to the mom unless it was really bothering him.
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| Posted 10/11/22 8:55 AM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7612 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Re: Need advise - Middle School boy
Posted by EricaAlt
Posted by Funkybutt
Normally I would agree with you about letting him figure out how to handle it on his own, but I'd also worry about my son getting depressed and anxious. I would probably say something to her - especially since she was so appreciative of your son in the 6th grade. Maybe just a head's up - this is what's going on. If my kid was bullying someone, I'd want to know.
Thank you. I totally get it. I agree... I don't want my son to have to be depressed. Normally I'd just say ignore him, but hard to ignore since they all hang out together. Plus I really think it bothers him most bc he was there so much for this boy. His mom even texted me last year her son wants to go out trick or treating with my son and would it be ok if he goes with my son and all his friends. My son has been going with a big group of boys for years.
Ok, I think I'll say something, but tread lightly. I don't necessarily think it's bullying, but I don't want it to get worse.
I work at the high school level. I would consider repeated incidents such as you’re describing as bullying and treat it as such.
As a mother, I would talk with the other mom since your son asked. If nothing changed, I’d get the school involved. Depression and anxiety in teenagers is no joke. Kids harass each other day in and day out using social media. They are relentless. I’d ask my son if his “friend” is using those avenues as well to belittle him.
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| Posted 10/11/22 1:38 PM |
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Deeluvsvinny
DONE
Member since 10/08 4952 total posts
Name:
Whatever
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Need advise - Middle School boy
I'd talk to the mom- I'd want to know if my child was repeatedly mean to someone who was a good friend to them. Maybe just ask her if something is going on with him because he's changed and is now belittling your son for no apparent reason. Its so hard to know when it's right to step in with this age, but sounds like your son is reaching out for help-which is great!
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| Posted 10/11/22 3:04 PM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Need advise - Middle School boy **UPDATE**
UPDATE at the top. Thanks all!
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| Posted 10/12/22 8:23 AM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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Need advise - Middle School boy **UPDATE**
I'm so glad the update is positive! Hopefully the boy continues to be nicer.
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| Posted 10/12/22 9:01 AM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21536 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Need advise - Middle School boy **UPDATE**
Great update!
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| Posted 10/12/22 9:50 AM |
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