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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
Posted by luvbuffet
Posted by Sash
Posted by luvbuffet
I can be a ***** and blast MMMbop when they're asleep. I can be petty, too. I doubt it'll come to that.
As for the felt not being the right size, the package had two page squares where you cut them to fit. Ohwell.
Not to be snarky, but why ask if it was handle correctly if you aren't going to be receptive to a different side?
Im sure your DH was very nice and you guys are good neighbors; but, still doesn't mean that handing them the felt no matter how nice it was relayed could have been construed to someone else as rude or passive aggressive. It's just another view point.
I am receptive and I understand what other posters are saying. Posting also helps me get things off my chest.
Reminds me when I first moved in, I wouldn't lock the front door and my neighbors mom was house sitting for them, wrote me a letter on a post-it and stuck it in the front door. My neighbors found out and were mortified and apologized to me when they came home. At first I thought she was a bitchhh for doing it because she didn't live there, I'm not her child and she could've just said soemthing to me during the 20+ times we passed by each other. I got over it.
LOL I probably would have been the neighbors mother, DHs family never locked their front door and it always scared me.
Some people take longer to mature, especially in this day in age.
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Posted 3/14/17 12:37 PM  |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
Posted by luvbuffet
I can be a ***** and blast MMMbop when they're asleep. I can be petty, too. I doubt it'll come to that.
As for the felt not being the right size, the package had two page squares where you cut them to fit. Ohwell.
I probably would have handled it the same way as you guys did and hopefully they will keep the noise down. I just wanted to add, I hate the felt pads that you have to cut to size (because it's hard to cut it to fit perfectly and it bothers me to see the uneven felt) so maybe they just wanted to get the pre-cut ones? I still wouldn't have left them in your mailbox though. People are so weird.
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| Posted 3/14/17 12:50 PM |
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
I dont think you did anything wrong at all. My DH and I use to live in a co-op on the bottom floor and it was tough. The first person we lived below use to watch porn at all night and would do things I didn't want to hear. I ended up calling the cops on him a few times. We had a backyard and his daughter use to flick her cigarettes onto our yard from her window. They eventually moved out. The next girl was nice but had a ton of cats. We use to hear them run around constantly. She had to put carpet on her steps and we ended up having her carpet her apartment according to the rules of the board. Keep up the communication constantly and just be honest that you can hear everything below. Good Luck!
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| Posted 3/14/17 1:50 PM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
Having spent a number of years in apartments, you cannot expect to never hear your upstairs neighbors. If you want total silence, you have to get a house. You are going to hear them walking, moving furniture, etc. And you have to expect music, but not at 3am. It sounds like they are making an effort to be quieter now, so take this as a victory.
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| Posted 3/14/17 2:30 PM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
If that was me, I would have been embarrassed and given them back bc I bought my own instead. You shouldn't have to spend your money on it etc., hopefully that's why they gave them back. Otherwise, I don't see what the problem is, we lived upstairs in an apartment before we brought our home and I always made sure my kids weren't stomping like mad men and asked our downstairs neighbors if the noise level was fine. I don't see why people can't be considerate of others. I think you guys handled it fine.
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| Posted 3/14/17 2:46 PM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3986 total posts
Name:
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Was this handled correctly???
I would have definitely spoken to them about the noise but I don't think I would have given them the pads. I can see how they may have gotten the wrong impression just like you might have gotten the wrong impression when they gave them back.
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| Posted 3/14/17 3:48 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
I don't think you did anything wrong at all. And it was nice of you offer the pads. I don't see that as rude at all. If they cared about being noisy, they wouldn't have returned Them to you OR would have bought a new package and given it to you with a bottle of wine apologizing for being inconsiderate assholes.
Sorry. This hits a nerve. I had new neighbors above me in my first apartment. BLASTING madonna all day. I could hear their conversations clear as day. One worked til midnight and then they'd be dragging chairs as well. I wanted to kill them. I spoke nicely once. Twice. By the third time, I went up there, he turned down the music and came to the door. I asked him to turn it back up and come into my apartment to hear it. I then recited the whole convo he had with his boyfriend the night before. He didn't seem to think it was "that bad". I wanted to slap him silly.
I got the landlord involved and They finally got some rugs, which helped a bit. I moved out not too long after. But people are ****!ng rude as hell.
Good luck with them. If they don't keep it down, go to board. No more being nice.
Message edited 3/14/2017 4:18:38 PM.
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| Posted 3/14/17 4:16 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
Posted by MrsT809
Posted by Katareen
Is there a rule that a certain % of their floor must be carpeted?
Definitely check into this. My sil had a second floor coop and there was a rule about that.
Probably, but the kitchen and bathrooms are excluded. My co-op is 80% but kitchens (where I assume the chairs are) and bathroom are excluded as the 20%.
Aside from the music, the rest of it just sounds like stuff you have to deal with when living in multiple family dwellings. My neighbors have a newborn I can hear crying all night, but I would never complain about it, same when I can hear them opening dresser drawers at 5am. Its part of life for them and to be expected in a co-op. Even loud music and TV I let go if its from time to time. Just as they let it go when my daughter practices her gymnastics on the floor or my kids are chasing each other around. We have a no jumping/yelling rule after 8pm, but other than that we let everyone be as do they. We always check in with each other though...."did the baby crying bother you, I hope it didnt keep you up or Im sorry if it sounded like you had elephants upstairs my daughter was practicing. We have a good relationship about it though.
Chairs and such though, thats everyday noise and I think you just need to deal with it when in a coop or apt.
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| Posted 3/14/17 4:49 PM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
There's no need for two adults to run up and down stairs as if their pants are on fire at 5:30 am and SLAM the front door. That's not day to day life. It's called being inconsiderate. Just like I have deal deal with some noise, they should realize they didn't buy a single family home where they can turn up til 3 am and treat the common hallway as a relay race. CHairs dragging across the floors don't bother me. It's when they are being dragged for hours and hours. These are the third set of neighbors I've had and the first time I've had complaints. The first neighbors I had had 2 cats the size of tigers that would jump and sound like bowling balls. That was ok. Can't control it. You CAN control dragging furniture by putting felt.
Anyway, today was glorious! We heard them but no complaints! Let's hope it continues. 
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| Posted 3/14/17 5:21 PM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by MrsT809
Posted by Katareen
Is there a rule that a certain % of their floor must be carpeted?
Definitely check into this. My sil had a second floor coop and there was a rule about that.
Probably, but the kitchen and bathrooms are excluded. My co-op is 80% but kitchens (where I assume the chairs are) and bathroom are excluded as the 20%.
Aside from the music, the rest of it just sounds like stuff you have to deal with when living in multiple family dwellings. My neighbors have a newborn I can hear crying all night, but I would never complain about it, same when I can hear them opening dresser drawers at 5am. Its part of life for them and to be expected in a co-op. Even loud music and TV I let go if its from time to time. Just as they let it go when my daughter practices her gymnastics on the floor or my kids are chasing each other around. We have a no jumping/yelling rule after 8pm, but other than that we let everyone be as do they. We always check in with each other though...."did the baby crying bother you, I hope it didnt keep you up or Im sorry if it sounded like you had elephants upstairs my daughter was practicing. We have a good relationship about it though.
Chairs and such though, thats everyday noise and I think you just need to deal with it when in a coop or apt.
You really expect to hear music blasting at 3am like the OP said????? Sorry, I'd be calling the police in a heartbeat.
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| Posted 3/14/17 6:35 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by MrsT809
Posted by Katareen
Is there a rule that a certain % of their floor must be carpeted?
Definitely check into this. My sil had a second floor coop and there was a rule about that.
Probably, but the kitchen and bathrooms are excluded. My co-op is 80% but kitchens (where I assume the chairs are) and bathroom are excluded as the 20%.
Aside from the music, the rest of it just sounds like stuff you have to deal with when living in multiple family dwellings. My neighbors have a newborn I can hear crying all night, but I would never complain about it, same when I can hear them opening dresser drawers at 5am. Its part of life for them and to be expected in a co-op. Even loud music and TV I let go if its from time to time. Just as they let it go when my daughter practices her gymnastics on the floor or my kids are chasing each other around. We have a no jumping/yelling rule after 8pm, but other than that we let everyone be as do they. We always check in with each other though...."did the baby crying bother you, I hope it didnt keep you up or Im sorry if it sounded like you had elephants upstairs my daughter was practicing. We have a good relationship about it though.
Chairs and such though, thats everyday noise and I think you just need to deal with it when in a coop or apt.
You really expect to hear music blasting at 3am like the OP said????? Sorry, I'd be calling the police in a heartbeat.
Literally, the FIRST thing I wrote was "Aside from the music..."
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| Posted 3/14/17 7:42 PM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
Nooo fighting plssss
It's 8:42pm and it has been pure paradise here!
I texted my old neighbors what happened and they offered to let us move in haha
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| Posted 3/14/17 8:44 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Was this handled correctly???
I despised living in a coop bc I hated dealing with my downstairs neighbor, she was awful, she hated my son bc he cried at night, seriously.
You handled it perfectly fine, they sound like total jerks. I;m sorry!
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| Posted 3/15/17 8:50 AM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
neighbor came home from work this morning at 6am and didnt slam the door and walked up the stairs. barely heard a peep!!!
:::doingthecabbagepatch:::::::
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| Posted 3/15/17 8:53 AM |
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skew
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 6794 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
Posted by luvbuffet
They're up from their slumber. Chair dragged but not anywhere as bad as the last few months. It's their first time living on their own so they are clueless. We have been nothing but nice to them. Bringing in huge furniture packages when ups would leave them out in the rain, introduced ourselves, shoveled for them. Been PATIENT when they want to turn up til 3am. Anyone else would've exchanged words by now. If they took it the wrong way, it has everything to do with their ego. Dh approached them with kindness and offered a solution on the spot.
"It's their first time living on their own so they are clueless." . Perhaps this is the issue and they aren't accustomed to and know the etiquette of living in a shared building.
Although it was a bit passive aggressive with the offering of the furniture pads but I don't think you did anything wrong. You expressed your complaint and offered a solution. They should have declined when it was offered or returned with a "thanks but we have or own or don't need" note.
Hang in there!
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| Posted 3/15/17 9:03 AM |
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racheK
Hudson's Momma
Member since 10/10 2853 total posts
Name:
Rachel
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
Woo hoo! I have always lived in apartments and think you handled it perfectly! I would have done the same thing. If they just moved out of their parent's house, they have no idea that other people around you can hear everything you do. Good reminder for them.
Message edited 3/15/2017 9:05:34 AM.
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| Posted 3/15/17 9:05 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9508 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
I guess I am in the minority but I think giving them the felt pads was super nice of you. If it were me I would have apologized and put them on all my chairs right away! I would be so happy that I didn't have to go out and buy them myself!
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| Posted 3/15/17 9:34 AM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by MrsT809
Posted by Katareen
Is there a rule that a certain % of their floor must be carpeted?
Definitely check into this. My sil had a second floor coop and there was a rule about that.
Probably, but the kitchen and bathrooms are excluded. My co-op is 80% but kitchens (where I assume the chairs are) and bathroom are excluded as the 20%.
Aside from the music, the rest of it just sounds like stuff you have to deal with when living in multiple family dwellings. My neighbors have a newborn I can hear crying all night, but I would never complain about it, same when I can hear them opening dresser drawers at 5am. Its part of life for them and to be expected in a co-op. Even loud music and TV I let go if its from time to time. Just as they let it go when my daughter practices her gymnastics on the floor or my kids are chasing each other around. We have a no jumping/yelling rule after 8pm, but other than that we let everyone be as do they. We always check in with each other though...."did the baby crying bother you, I hope it didnt keep you up or Im sorry if it sounded like you had elephants upstairs my daughter was practicing. We have a good relationship about it though.
Chairs and such though, thats everyday noise and I think you just need to deal with it when in a coop or apt.
You really expect to hear music blasting at 3am like the OP said????? Sorry, I'd be calling the police in a heartbeat.
Literally, the FIRST thing I wrote was "Aside from the music..."
Sorry, I missed that. I was focused on you saying a few lines down that" Even loud music and TV I let go if its from time to time. "
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| Posted 3/15/17 9:36 AM |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
Ok, the kids need a lesson on how to live in big people's apartments.
Your co-op should have rules in place about the percentage of carpeting required (80% in mine and that is told to new shareholders numerous times during the application process and board interview).
There should also be a rule in place about noise - what kind is not acceptable after a certain hour. In my co-op it is 10pm and no loud TV's, radios or loud conversation.
It's hard to control normal living noises, but running up and down stairs and slamming doors is not considered normal noise. Walking across the floor is, and so is TV at a normal volume.
Have a friendly chat with them about apartment living, point out that everyone can hear everything, you all live in the same "house" and want to be friendly about it. Works both ways, you guys try to limit your noise as well.
I'll never forget when an elderly shareholder complained to the board that she heard her upstairs neighbor having sex.
We told her that there is nothing we can do about it, it is part of normal living.
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| Posted 3/15/17 9:46 AM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
Posted by SusiBee
Ok, the kids need a lesson on how to live in big people's apartments.
Your co-op should have rules in place about the percentage of carpeting required (80% in mine and that is told to new shareholders numerous times during the application process and board interview).
There should also be a rule in place about noise - what kind is not acceptable after a certain hour. In my co-op it is 10pm and no loud TV's, radios or loud conversation.
It's hard to control normal living noises, but running up and down stairs and slamming doors is not considered normal noise. Walking across the floor is, and so is TV at a normal volume.
Have a friendly chat with them about apartment living, point out that everyone can hear everything, you all live in the same "house" and want to be friendly about it. Works both ways, you guys try to limit your noise as well.
I'll never forget when an elderly shareholder complained to the board that she heard her upstairs neighbor having sex.
We told her that there is nothing we can do about it, it is part of normal living.
imagine being recently divorced, sulking, eating ice cream in bed and then you hear neighbors having sex lol I do NOT miss 2012! haha
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| Posted 3/15/17 9:52 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
Posted by lululu
I guess I am in the minority but I think giving them the felt pads was super nice of you. If it were me I would have apologized and put them on all my chairs right away! I would be so happy that I didn't have to go out and buy them myself!
This is exactly what I was thinking... 
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| Posted 3/15/17 10:22 AM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
Posted by lululu
I guess I am in the minority but I think giving them the felt pads was super nice of you. If it were me I would have apologized and put them on all my chairs right away! I would be so happy that I didn't have to go out and buy them myself!
I totally agree with you! (who knew??  )
There is nothing passive aggressive about the OP giving them felt pads for their furniture while complaining about the movement of said furniture. That's not what passive aggressive means.
If they had just left the felt pads in the neighbors' mailbox without saying anything to them, that would have been passive aggressive.
Telling someone directly that there is a problem and simultaneously offering a solution is pro-active.
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| Posted 3/15/17 10:29 AM |
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MrsWoods
LIF Adult
Member since 4/12 1461 total posts
Name:
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Was this handled correctly???
I've lived in apartments all my life and i think it was handled well. This is also why i don't like living below anyone because you hear everything. Carpeting helps.
I do think the 3am music is a no no in an apartment. However i do think by law you are able to have loud music on till 11pm on the weekends (weekdays not sure) At least thats what a cop friend told us one time when we complained about a neighbor. After that time you can call the police.
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| Posted 3/15/17 10:33 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
Can we please establish something? Going up there, having a conversation about what is happening and giving them the felt is in NO way, shape, or form 'passive aggressive' - in fact, it is extremely direct.
Excuse me, I'm not sure if you realized, but we can hear your furniture scratching along the hardwood floors .......would you please use these to dull the noise? .......WHAT part of that is passive aggressive? Nothing -
Maybe they thought it was rude, or too direct? But it can't in any way be considered passive aggressive.
Passive aggressive is THEM, dumping the felt back on you, in the middle of the night, with zero conversation or explanation.
YOU handled yourself perfectly fine. You had an issue, you politely addressed it AND offered a paid for solution ......
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| Posted 3/15/17 1:13 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Was this handled correctly???
Posted by MarisaK
Can we please establish something? Going up there, having a conversation about what is happening and giving them the felt is in NO way, shape, or form 'passive aggressive' - in fact, it is extremely direct.
Excuse me, I'm not sure if you realized, but we can hear your furniture scratching along the hardwood floors .......would you please use these to dull the noise? .......WHAT part of that is passive aggressive? Nothing -
Maybe they thought it was rude, or too direct? But it can't in any way be considered passive aggressive.
Passive aggressive is THEM, dumping the felt back on you, in the middle of the night, with zero conversation or explanation.
YOU handled yourself perfectly fine. You had an issue, you politely addressed it AND offered a paid for solution ......
I think a lot of people don't understand what passive aggressive actually means and use it wrong.
It's a very overused phrase IMO
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| Posted 3/15/17 1:34 PM |
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