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Talking emotions with a 4 year old

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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult

Member since 12/11

6163 total posts

Name:
Momma Bear

Talking emotions with a 4 year old

So my 4 year old shuts down whenever it comes to talking about her feelings.
Shes always been that way but its getting worse now and im concerned. She used to at least tell me if something scared her or a friend was mean to her or she hurt herself.
Now she will not tell me whats making her cry. Sometimes its legitmitate, sometimes its small but it just really upsets her... the thing is i never know. And that's what scares me.
Shes also started to tell me to go away and leave her alone... nothing happened or nothing is wrong... THIS is all new.

She used to always come to me for comfort. And i dont know whats changed

Any advice would be helpful.

Message edited 9/7/2016 2:31:51 PM.

Posted 9/4/16 5:54 PM
 
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ChristinaM128
LIF Adult

Member since 8/12

4043 total posts

Name:
Christina

Re: Talking emotions with a 4 year old

It may be hard for her to talk in the first person. Maybe something will come out if you play dolls with her (mommy doll asks girl doll how she's feeling, etc.).

Posted 9/7/16 10:27 PM
 

MrsV41511
LIF Infant

Member since 2/11

129 total posts

Name:
Diane

Talking emotions with a 4 year old

Has anything changed in her environment? Even the littlest things can set them off! But I also agree role playing is great and really helps with kids to feel comfortable

Posted 9/8/16 3:44 AM
 

Mom0710
LIF Adolescent

Member since 9/14

682 total posts

Name:

Re: Talking emotions with a 4 year old

I hate to say this but my almost 9 year old dd is like this. Shuts down. Says leave her alone. We don't push it. She comes around sometimes and will ask questions.

Since she is 4, she may change. Keep asking her questions.Chat Icon

Posted 9/8/16 8:05 AM
 

EricaAlt
LIF Adult

Member since 7/08

22665 total posts

Name:
Erica

Re: Talking emotions with a 4 year old

Posted by Mom0710

I hate to say this but my almost 9 year old dd is like this. Shuts down. Says leave her alone. We don't push it. She comes around sometimes and will ask questions.

Since she is 4, she may change. Keep asking her questions.Chat Icon



This, but it's my 7 year old DS. He's sensitive and when I ask him why he cried he says he doesn't want to talk about it. He understands he's sensitive and I tell him he has a big heart, but he has to learn to control his feelings or talk about them so next time something upsets him we can talk about it. Doesn't always work, but at least he understands it.
Just let he know you are there for her and even if she doesn't want to talk about it you can come give her a hug and kiss and when she's ready she can talk to you about anything. If she doesn't just let he know everything isn't real and it's ok to get sad or mad at situations. Whenever she wants you are there for her and even if a hug is enough that's fine. Chat Icon

Posted 9/8/16 8:36 AM
 

Mags1227
Just a mommy ...

Member since 10/10

2665 total posts

Name:
M

Re: Talking emotions with a 4 year old

DS is like this as well.
He usually runs into his room and cries on his bed.
I follow him and sit down next to him and massage his back until he's a bit calmer. Eventually he will sit up and let me hug him while he finishes crying.
Once he's calm, i try to get the truth out of him. I often use examples of myself or DH in a similar situation. It makes him feel like he's normal cause he's just like mommy and daddy.

Posted 9/8/16 10:09 AM
 

BlessedMomma
LIF Adult

Member since 12/11

6163 total posts

Name:
Momma Bear

Talking emotions with a 4 year old

Thank you all. I'm going to def try the role playing with her. Maybe that will help.

And I will leave her alone when she asks and then try to talk to her about it later. Though some things she never tells me and others she tells me hours later which is fine I just want her to know she can talk to me. Which I tell her all the time.

Posted 9/9/16 4:43 PM
 

BaseballWidow
*****

Member since 8/08

6657 total posts

Name:

Re: Talking emotions with a 4 year old

Posted by BlessedMomma

Thank you all. I'm going to def try the role playing with her. Maybe that will help.

And I will leave her alone when she asks and then try to talk to her about it later. Though some things she never tells me and others she tells me hours later which is fine I just want her to know she can talk to me. Which I tell her all the time.



Sometimes they don't know what's wrong or why they feel a certain way so they just say that until they can process it. I always find with my DD to give her time to either sort it out or want to talk about it helps. They are growing so much in the 3-5 year old ages that I think they just get overwhslmed and since they have some ability to control it (ie: not having a tantrun) they don't know how to express it.

Posted 9/9/16 8:54 PM
 
 

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