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For those who are Childfree NOT by choice

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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken

Member since 6/11

9138 total posts

Name:
Phyllis

For those who are Childfree NOT by choice

What did you do with the room that was supposed to be "the nursery"?

I am finally at the stage where I keep the door open. Right now it's a spare room. It holds odds and ends. An old dresser , mattress, my luggage is in there. Just "stuff"

DH wants to turn it into a small den for us to hangout in. But every time I go in there and think about painting it - just painting it, I start to get emotional. Painting that room was supposed to be done when we were having a baby. Literally just typing it now, I'm starting to tear. So to even consider making it a room that we will hangout in - I can't imagine it going over well


But then I think it's such a waste of space. Maybe if we hire someone to come in and transform it, it won't hurt me as much?

I dunno

Anyone else with this problem ? DH has seriously mentioned moving. Because this house will forever have that room in it. The room that had a very important purpose but doesn't anymore.

Message edited 11/16/2015 10:58:09 PM.

Posted 11/16/15 10:56 PM
 

summerBaby10
let's be nice

Member since 9/07

10208 total posts

Name:
Wifey

Re: For those who are Childfree NOT by choice

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Posted 11/17/15 2:26 PM
 

babyfever24
LIF Adult

Member since 1/11

3340 total posts

Name:

Re: For those who are Childfree NOT by choice

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon OUrs is still my office/junk room with still hopes of becoming a nursery....xoxoxo

Posted 11/19/15 9:00 PM
 

LoveDayLove
LIF Adult

Member since 2/11

1250 total posts

Name:

Re: For those who are Childfree NOT by choice

Honestly... I can't bring myself to get a bigger apartment. I can't handle having a room that I want so badly for a child I never will have.

DH wants to get a bigger apartment so he can have an office.

I know how much it hurts and I am sorry for your pain.

Posted 11/19/15 10:02 PM
 

hmm
Sweet

Member since 1/14

7911 total posts

Name:

Re: For those who are Childfree NOT by choice

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Posted 11/19/15 10:24 PM
 

tourist

Member since 5/05

10417 total posts

Name:

Re: For those who are Childfree NOT by choice

Posted by LoveDayLove

Honestly... I can't bring myself to get a bigger apartment. I can't handle having a room that I want so badly for a child I never will have.

DH wants to get a bigger apartment so he can have an office.



That's how I feel. DH wants a house, but I feel like a house is for a family. Chat Icon

We have a 2nd bedroom (small, with no closet) now that has been an office since we moved in. If we had had a child it would have become his/her room and then we would have probably moved b/c it is small & we aren't in a great school district.

Posted 11/20/15 2:34 PM
 

Paramount
Sweet!

Member since 7/12

4287 total posts

Name:

Re: For those who are Childfree NOT by choice

Posted by tourist

Posted by LoveDayLove

Honestly... I can't bring myself to get a bigger apartment. I can't handle having a room that I want so badly for a child I never will have.

DH wants to get a bigger apartment so he can have an office.



That's how I feel. DH wants a house, but I feel like a house is for a family. Chat Icon

We have a 2nd bedroom (small, with no closet) now that has been an office since we moved in. If we had had a child it would have become his/her room and then we would have probably moved b/c it is small & we aren't in a great school district.



I feel VERY different about this.

A house IS for a family, whatever you family is.

I bought a big house in the burbs. 4 bedrooms. If we had a kid one of those rooms would be for a nursery. For a few reasons we didn't have kids.

(I also want to be honest and say it does not bother me. We decided that if it happened fine. If it didn't fine. Neither of us would be upset if we never had kids. So my outlook toward this is different).

But a house is a home for your family. It is you and your DH. THAT is a GREAT family. I found great joy in enjoying my home. I personally never felt like its missing something (kids).

I hope you are able to live somewhere that brings you joy. Its a shame to not buy a home JUST based on this one thing. I know it is painful. I am very much ok with not having kids, but it still doesn't mean I'm not sad over it either. But I can't be stuck in what ifs all my life.

It might prevent you from buying a house and living your life to the fullest you can.

Posted 12/7/15 10:27 AM
 

ihilani
LIF Adolescent

Member since 9/07

858 total posts

Name:
alias

Re: For those who are Childfree NOT by choice

Posted by Paramount

I feel VERY different about this.

A house IS for a family, whatever you family is.

I bought a big house in the burbs. 4 bedrooms. If we had a kid one of those rooms would be for a nursery. For a few reasons we didn't have kids.

(I also want to be honest and say it does not bother me. We decided that if it happened fine. If it didn't fine. Neither of us would be upset if we never had kids. So my outlook toward this is different).

But a house is a home for your family. It is you and your DH. THAT is a GREAT family. I found great joy in enjoying my home. I personally never felt like its missing something (kids).

I hope you are able to live somewhere that brings you joy. Its a shame to not buy a home JUST based on this one thing. I know it is painful. I am very much ok with not having kids, but it still doesn't mean I'm not sad over it either. But I can't be stuck in what ifs all my life.

It might prevent you from buying a house and living your life to the fullest you can.



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Posted 12/10/15 10:03 PM
 

oldtimerocknroll
LIF Adult

Member since 11/14

1646 total posts

Name:

Re: For those who are Childfree NOT by choice

Posted by ihilani

Posted by Paramount

I feel VERY different about this.

A house IS for a family, whatever you family is.

I bought a big house in the burbs. 4 bedrooms. If we had a kid one of those rooms would be for a nursery. For a few reasons we didn't have kids.

(I also want to be honest and say it does not bother me. We decided that if it happened fine. If it didn't fine. Neither of us would be upset if we never had kids. So my outlook toward this is different).

But a house is a home for your family. It is you and your DH. THAT is a GREAT family. I found great joy in enjoying my home. I personally never felt like its missing something (kids).

I hope you are able to live somewhere that brings you joy. Its a shame to not buy a home JUST based on this one thing. I know it is painful. I am very much ok with not having kids, but it still doesn't mean I'm not sad over it either. But I can't be stuck in what ifs all my life.

It might prevent you from buying a house and living your life to the fullest you can.



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I agree very much as well.

While our house is quite small, we could have children in it. We don't--by choice and for now, anyway--but our house is exactly that--for our family.

Posted 12/13/15 10:48 AM
 
 

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