Transition to 2 kids

Those of u who have more than 1 child.. How was the transition going from 1 to 2? My dd is 2 years old... DH and I have been discussing having another so that dd has a sibling... I've been reading online that people are saying it's harder to go from 1 to 2 than from 0 to 1... Is this true? Also, is my dd going to be jealous? I'm worried about it

Message edited 11/12/2015 7:41:04 PM.

Transition to 2 kids

It was harder to go from 0 to 1 than 1 to 2 for me. This time I was more relaxed about what to do.

As for being jealous that all depends on the kid. Dd1 is so sweet and not jealous at all. Some of her friends I know would be a terror if they had a younger sibling.

Re: Transition to 2 kids

We are in the thick of it. Like pp, not as scared or nervous because you know what to expect since you've already done it.

It's hard because of the differing needs of each child, toddler v infant. My two are two years apart and DD, who is older, is beyond a handful. She also loves her little brother but is super jealous, which has been difficult and heartbreaking for me at times. Of course it's worth it, but we are still transitioning to a family of four and I hope it starts to get easier.

Transition to 2 kids

We're 10 weeks in. It has it's moments but it hasn't been too difficult. DD was 17.5 months when DD2 was born. She loves her "lala" (Lila) but can get jealous at times. It was hard in the beginning because it took awhile to recover from the CS. I couldn't pick up DD1 for 5 weeks and she was too little to understand why I could pick her sister up but not her. It's also been a bit challenging since I've gone back to work since I get us all ready in the morning since DH leaves for work earlier.

Re: Transition to 2 kids

Going from 0 to 1 was hard. I was always pretty independent. When I had DS2 my first DS was just 2. The beginning was the hardest when they're both so little and both need a lot of attention, but I wouldn't change a thing.
Now they are 6 and 4. They are the best of friends and always have a playmate. My older DS teaches his younger brother everything. He knows counting, letters, etc all bc of his brother. They have each other to play games or just run around outside. If I could I'd have a 3rd to give them a playmate and make the family bigger, but I am done. No regrets. We are close with my sister and her kids who are close in age to my boys so when they are all together they are pretty much siblings playing together.
I couldn't imagine them not having each other. Sure they fight too, but for the most part they love each other and are there for each other.

Message edited 11/13/2015 7:51:07 AM.

Re: Transition to 2 kids

Going from 0-1 was harder than going from 1-2 for me. My dd was 2.5 when DS came. She has jealousy sometimes, but it's not terrible. She's also amazing with him sometimes. And then it's all worth it!

Re: Transition to 2 kids

Well my mornings are a bit more hectic, haha.. I will say that it really helped for me that my DS was in school while I was home on maternity leave because for those few hours I was able to just focus on my DD. At first DS seemed jealous but now he always tries to give DD kisses, its so cute!

Re: Transition to 2 kids

O to 1 was brutal. I was a mess lol. 1 to 2 piece of cake. I felt like a pro when my 2nd arrived. Lol

Re: Transition to 2 kids

For me, 0 to 1 was harder. It was a complete lifestyle change, combined with trying to everything by the books (so to speak). Transitioning to 2 was easier bc we knew what to expect, we had a lot of what we needed and we were much more laid back.
However, my kids are 15 months apart so it was not easy for DD. She did not understand why there was a baby in the house, she ran and tried to close his bedroom door every time i opened it and screamed and cried when I would go in to him or would bf him. I think as they are older, they can understand a little more so it may be easier...but i dont know for sure since that was not my experience.

Re: Transition to 2 kids

I can't say if 0 to 1 or 1 to 2 was harder. Both were challenging in their own ways. Going from 1 to 2 meant my own adjustment (and DH's) but also DS's. There was some jealousy, but not a lot. We kept DS's schedule as close to normal as possible, keeping him in day care. He was 2 yrs 4 mos when DD was born. For me, the hardest part was the sleep deprivation. Having a toddler meant I couldn't nap when DD napped. Plus, she only took short cat naps so I was exhausted for a long time.

That being said...DD is almost 6 months old now and the hardships of adding another child were already totally worth it. DS LOVES his baby sister. He hugs and kisses her and says he always wants to take care of her. She already watches him so closely and laughs at him. I can tell they will be close and can't wait to watch them grow up together. So, IMO, having 2 kids is amazing.

Message edited 11/13/2015 2:38:57 PM.

Transition to 2 kids

1-2 was a breeze honestly, my dd was 2 1/2 when my DS was born - I had her help me a ton with the baby and it made her feel so involved. now they are almost 9 and 6 and they argue ALL THE TIME!!!

Re: Transition to 2 kids

It was easier, but DS#1 is/was a ridiculously easy kid so I knew it wasn't going to be an issue.

Transition to 2 kids

My DD"s are almost 2.5 years apart. I tried really hard to pay a ton of attention to DD 1 when DD 2 was born and not change my routine with her etc. I tried to include DD1 in helping with DD2 etc and by nature DD1 is a kind compassionate super sweet kid-- so jealousy has been pretty much non existent for now, at least. As for the transition-- 0 to 1 was super hard for me, bc well lets face it, I was no longer just me, I was a parent-- huge adjustment! 1 to 2 is a handful but life doenst change all that much-- youre already a parent. I didn't see 2 as being much more "difficult" or time consuming than just having 1- though on days where for whatever reason I am just with 1 kid-- I do realize 1 is definitely much easier and less chaotic than 2! I love watching my girls play and giggle together-- no better sound in the world.

Re: Transition to 2 kids

I have found going from 1 to 2 to be very difficult. It's very hard to find time to get anything done. When one doesn't need something, the other does, or, even better, they both need something at the same time. It's very time consuming getting everyone out of the house. I have had a hard time with it.

Transition to 2 kids

Going from 0 to 1 is a huge transition. You have to get used to the lack of sleep, learn to work together with your partner, etc. I thought adding a second was a lot easier bc none of that was new. As dd2 has become more active is gotten more challenging at times but that will be temporary. My girls are 2.5 years apart and my older one did great with the transition.

Re: Transition to 2 kids

oooh my God, going from 0 to 1 was a traumatizing experience for me-lol But 1 to 2 was like nothing changed. dc#1 was 2 years 3months when dc#2 came along.. no jealously at all, thank goodness.

Transition to 2 kids

One to two was pretty hard. My baby is only 12 weeks so it's fresh. My older son is three. There I'd no jealousy. He is great with his baby brother. He puts the blanket on him, lays down next to him on the play mat, hugs and kisses him. I couldn't ask for anything more. It's just tough juggling the different needs of each child. We tried to keep as much normalcy for my older son as we could. He still asks me why i can't play with him when I'm feeding the baby. My older son was also in school while i was off so that helped. It if worth it when they get older they will be life long friends.

Transition to 2 kids

They're both difficult in different ways but I think 0-1 was a bit more difficult. It's a huge adjustment losing your freedom and being responsible for someone else 24/7. I also need my sleep and losing that for a year was rough. By the time number two came I was accustomed to all of that.

Re: Transition to 2 kids

Re: Transition to 2 kids

I'm not going to lie, I found it easier going from 0-1 than 1-2. My first kid was a breeze. Second kid is a dream baby too I just have so much anxiety and stress but I do think there are external factors playing a role in that. I lost my job and I'm dealing with some post partum issues as well. I would never say don't do it but for me it is a lot more work and that really takes a toll on me mentally. DD is almost 3 and DS is 8 months old...

Re: Transition to 2 kids

Re: Transition to 2 kids

It wasn't that bad, but I think this was helped by the fact that ds2 is a million times easier than ds1. Also, when you go from 0-1 it's traumatic because your whole life changes, whereas going from 1-2 is a little bit of an adjustment, a bit of extra work & chaos, but not life-changing (at least for us). There are definitely issues as far as jealousy but it's not that bad. I feel guilty I can't give full attention to each kid but we just do the best we can to make them each feel loved as much as possible. It's totally worth it & I'm so glad they'll have each other.

Re: Transition to 2 kids

i might be the wrong one to answer this, but adding 1 was never hard for us. But then again we were together for 8 years before we had #1. Going from 0-1, 1-2 or even 2-3 we didn't find hard at all. Luckily we never had any jealousy issues.

#1-#2 is a 3 1/2 year gap.
#2- #3 is a 2 1/2 year gap

Message edited 11/14/2015 10:06:43 PM.

Re: Transition to 2 kids

Thank u all so much for responding! I found going from 0-1 to be a traumatic lol! It was a huge lifestyle change as many of u guys have said and not all about me anymore. I think u guys are right... Since life is now way different than before, it will be a bit hectic but I will have an idea of what to expect. Thank u!!