#2 due soon, getting very anxious

talk me down I am started to get overwhelmed with anxiety about #2 coming in less than 5 weeks. Its not the day to day newborn stuff, more about how ours lives will change - how my 2.5 year old's life will change really.

Its just crazy that you go from a family of three, everything has a routine, a time a place and then BAM - family of four forever. Everything is shaken up. I am nervous about how my son will react. He is VERY excited about his sister, we talk about the baby all the time. He loves spending time in her room. He talks about all the things he will do with her (reading, playing legos, feeding her, changing her ) but once he realizes she is here to stay ... I am just worried he may withdraw and get upset.

My son has become VERY attached to me. I wont be able to climb into bed with him to read for the first few weeks. I won't be able to pick him up, carry him. Just makes me sad - worrying about how he will "feel"

ugh. tell me its not so bad.

#2 due soon, getting very anxious

I am not there yet, but I am 20w with #2, and just won't even allow myself to go there. Yes, life will change, but I know it will change for the better. I honestly feel that I am giving DD the greatest gift in the world, and that even if she is jealous in the short run, she will be thankful in the long run. You will find a new routine, and everything will fall into place, just as it did going from 2 to 3. Every child has those feelings when a baby is born, but at 2.5, I can guarantee you he will get over those feelings quickly, and he won't even remember life before DD!

Re: #2 due soon, getting very anxious

You will do great. J. will do great and he will be a great big brother.

The beginning may be an adjustment----or maybe everything will go fine.....even if there are ups and downs, you'll get through it and they will love each other!!!!

G+H LOVE S. so much. They all follow each other around and love to play together. J. and the baby will be that way too.

You will find a new normal, new routines, new fun things to do together.

What you are feeling is totally normal!!!!
Try not to stress!

Re: #2 due soon, getting very anxious

I was the same way. It IS sad losing that special time with DS...but when you see him with your baby girl, your heart is going to melt into a million pieces

J is a tad older, but I really do believe D doesn't remember life without L. Just as it's hard for you to remember or imagine life without your J!

I can only speak from my experience and tell you some things will definitely get a bit tougher. Just as you have a routine now, you'll have to work one out that includes your new LO. This will change as they both continue to grow and change as well. But you find ways to include them in whatever you do...I put a bunch of D's books in her room and some toys so that when we are in there, he keeps occupied. When L is napping, I make sure to put everything down and spend every minute I can with D. Things like that.

You will do great!!! Everything will be fine in time. You'll guys will make it work, and it will be amazing

Message edited 12/18/2012 10:32:39 AM.

Re: #2 due soon, getting very anxious

thank you all im just getting very emotional about it all. I haven't really let myself thing too much about it but now reality is setting in. I know we will be fine, I know everything will become the new "norm" but I just have this overwhelming "sad" feeling for the way things "were"

Re: #2 due soon, getting very anxious

I was a wreck over this my ENTIRE second pregnancy. Looking back, I was worried FOR NOTHING. In fact I get angry at how I didn't fully enjoy my pregnancy bc I was so overly concerned about DD's reaction.
The moment, I mean the exact second DD1 walked into the hospital room and met her little sister, I just knew I gave her the best gift in the world. Her face just lit up and she was inlove at first sight.

The first few weeks are an adjustment for everyone. Newborns are a lot of work no matter what. The older child will want the same amount of attention they are used to, and well, it's just not possible anymore, and that's the hardest part. During my maternity leave I tried to have alone time with DD1 as much as possible and we both loved that. But yeah, there's another lil person who needs you and loves you and it's hard to initially split your time.

Once the baby gets a little older things will feel so perfect and complete. DD1 is always protecting her little sister and needing to know where she is at all times. And DD2 is overwhelmingly obsessed with her big sister. They just look at each other and laugh hysterically now and I sit back and sigh and say...."What was I worried about again???"

It's going to be AMAZING!

Re: #2 due soon, getting very anxious

cant believe she is coming soon this went soooooo quick


It was hard in the beginning mostly ON ME LOL i felt like i couldnt give Lara the attention she wanted from me and I felt awful. I remember her asking me to read her a book and I couldnt do it cause i was trying to console Aidan when he was a newborn and I just started bawling.. hormones got the better of me lol. But it will be fine. Once you get your routine down it will be smooth sailing.

Re: #2 due soon, getting very anxious

It will be different...

You won't be able to give either child your full attention...

BUT it really is better for your DS that way!

We have the same issues... but they are closer in age!

Re: #2 due soon, getting very anxious

Posted by Lara&Aidansmommy

cant believe she is coming soon this went soooooo quick


It was hard in the beginning mostly ON ME LOL i felt like i couldnt give Lara the attention she wanted from me and I felt awful. I remember her asking me to read her a book and I couldnt do it cause i was trying to console Aidan when he was a newborn and I just started bawling.. hormones got the better of me lol. But it will be fine. Once you get your routine down it will be smooth sailing.

Re: #2 due soon, getting very anxious

we are keeping DS in daycare full time - i honestly feel it would be worse to take him out, even part time. He LOVES daycare, talks about his friends all the time.

I like the idea of maybe signing up for an activity just me and DS on sat mornings maybe I can look into that now!

Any ideas for boys just under 3? He will be 32 months when DD arrives. Maybe an art class somewhere?

I think weekends will be the hardest when I have them both. During the week will be cake since DS is at daycare.

Re: #2 due soon, getting very anxious

Yes- this was my experience too. I felt guilty for turning my DS (he was 27 months when the second one was born) life upside down, and taking care of a newborn and a toddler! This is how it was for us:

DS #1 was fine with the baby at first- the jealousy didn't kick in until DS#2 was about 6 weeks old. Just be prepared for this. The novelty of the new baby wore off- and he realized how much time the new little guy took. So he got mad. Took it out on us- defiant and trying at times.

I personally found the transition from 1 to 2 kids much easier than 0 to 1, even though you are doing double the work. I think it was because we were already in parent mode, and used to running around and being caretakers- the big life change already occured.

My babies really became bonded when my second child began to crawl- he became a friend to play with, a companion, rather than an intrusion. Now, at 2 and 4, they really are best friends.

Once the second one starts STTN, it is MUCH better. Most of my frustration was due to fatigue.

Don't try to cook/take on too much during the first 3 months. I would do simple meals or crockpot or take out- the evenings were the hardest for me.

GL_ it will be fine- if I can do it- anyone can!

Re: #2 due soon, getting very anxious

I'm in the same boat. Due in march and anxious of how dd will react and what it will be like.
My advice, from teaching daycare, is to keep Jacks routine as normal as possible. Keep him in dc, and dd will mold into your lives.

We are having a very rough patch with dd now and even tho I have a bit of time, but not a whole Lott, I'm nervous. I sah. I'm looking into a preschool to start her def in sept. hoping for now. I wanna get a schedule in Place then try not to change from it to much.

Re: #2 due soon, getting very anxious

OMG I could have written this myself! DD is 7 weeks now and it's finally getting better and like the previous posters said I also did my best to keep DS's routine as close as possible to what it used to be before DD was here and DS is doing great with her and us

Re: #2 due soon, getting very anxious

thank you all for taking the time to respond makes me feel better knowing I am not alone nor am I the first with these feelings.

Re: #2 due soon, getting very anxious

No advice just

Re: #2 due soon, getting very anxious

I totally understand how you feel, I felt the same way when I was pregnant with Em. I would look at A and feel overwhelmingly guilty about how much his life was going to change, how he would no longer be the center of our universe, how he was no longer going to be the "baby" of the house....it usually ended up with me in tears.

I'm not going to lie, the first few weeks were hard. It took a while for me to get into a routine and to top it off, A became SOOO clingy! He was aloof when Em came home, didn't really pay her much mind. At the 3 week mark, he finally started to warm up to her. He became my little assistant, loved helping with diaper changes, sitting next to me when I nursed her, rinsed her during baths.
Now at 10.5 months and 2.5 years, they are best buds. A could do no wrong in Em's eyes. He's the only one who can make her laugh so hard she starts to hiccup. Seeing him stop playing for a second to reach over and kiss her without prompting melts my heart.

I do think having special mommy/J time is a great idea and very important. Maybe a mommy and me class of some sort? We do Gymboree. But it doesn't even need to be any kind of organized activity. Some days I just take A to the Source Mall, walk around, ride the coin rides, the carousel, go up and down the escalator, and share jelly beans from the vending machine. He LOVES that.

Re: #2 due soon, getting very anxious

It is very overwhelming.

We are going through the same thing now. DD is fine with the baby but has been having a million trantrums a day over everything and anything. It's very hard to stay patient, when you also have a crying newborn to take care of.

It has gotten a little better and I just keep thinking to myself that this is temporary and we will all settle into a routine soon and we won't be able to remember a time with out the new baby.

For now, just enjoy your time together and enjoy the new baby during all the craziness. They are only little for so long.