Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

I have a 3 week old that is not sleeping for longer then 1 to 1.5 hours at night. He is being breast fed and I find that he sleeps better (as do I) when he sleeps in the bed w/ my hubby and I. Although Ive read all the concerns and dangers re. SIDS and how difficult it is to ween them off as they get older, I'm torn because again he sleeps better. What are some suggestions or words of encouragement for a new mom of a 3 week beautiful baby boy.

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

What about a co-sleeper? I'm assuming he is in a bassinet next to your bed ? With the co-sleeper he will still be super close to you but with less of a risk because he isn't in the actual bed with you and your DH.


In case you don't know what I am talking about I pasted a link. Sorry I can't direct link, im posting from my phone.

You also might want to put this on parenting.

http://www.armsreach.com/pages/about-us-sleep-pv-c10-1.html

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

I co-slept with DS sometimes at that age, but we started co-sleeping full time from 5 months on. It CAN be done safely, but only you can decide if it's right for you and your DS. Please do your research first to make sure you are safely co-sleeping. And PLEASE do not co-sleep if you or your DH have had any alcohol or over the counter cold medicines!

One option you can try first is the Fisher Price Rock & Play sleeper. DS wasn't a great sleeper from the beginning so we got that for him at 6 weeks and he used it about 80% of the time until he was 5 months old. It's not too expensive and it worked great! Kept him nice & snug & at an incline (he had reflux).

Good luck in whatever you decide to do!

co-sleeping thread

Message edited 12/8/2011 11:29:00 PM.

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

Can you get a basinette to keep the baby in your room, but not in your bed? I would be really concerned with having a 3 week old in your bed. I know how tiring it is, but I would not sleep with an infant in my bed.

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

This is just me...but as the mom of a 3 year-old and an 18-month old...that is NOT a can of worms that you want to open. Your DS is little now, but we learned with my 2nd child that routines need to start early. He WILL learn to sleep soundly on his own. I remember those early days of being DESPERATE for sleep. But I promise, if you stick it out, he'll adjust. And I can guarantee that in a year, you'll agree that it was the right thing to do.

My DD had a bad dream last night, and we let her sleep in our bed the rest of the night. I barely slept a wink--I was SO hyper-aware of any noises or movements she was making. I can't imagine sleeping like that every night!

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

co sleeper here

Loved my snuggle nest. She slept in bed with us in her own 'space' and was protected from us. At the same time, we both held her hands as we slept or I slept with a hand on her chest so i could feel her breathe.

oh how I miss those days

ETA: she slept with us every night until 4m. She then slept most nights with us. She was co-slept without the nest up to about a year or so. She STTN in her own crib if we put her there AFTER she slept. By 2 she no longer wanted our bed under ANY circumstances. God knows at 3 I wish she'd sleep with us so I could get more sleep! each child is different. Just wanted to point out not every child who co-sleeps becomes dependent on sleeping with mom & dad.

Message edited 12/9/2011 1:04:54 AM.

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

It can definitely done safely. At that age most of the time I had DD in a co-sleeper next to me. It sounds like your LO is going thru his 3 week growth spurt. Keep him with you especially if it makes you sleep better. It's so much easier to nurse having him right there rather than get up every hour.

My DD slept in our room until she was 1 year. We didn't have any issues transitioning her into her own room, we did baby steps starting with her naps first. I agree that co-sleeping does not create a dependent child.

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

Have you tried other things like the swing or a swaddle blanket?

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

Not to scare any of you just want to share a story ...my cousin who we love very much is 14 years old now and lives in an living facility ...when we was young there was an issue that i really dont want to get all into but something happened his brain swelled they had to do an emergency surgery ...while all this was going on they saw that he had 2 broken ribs...turns out my cousin n her husband who were over weight at the time use dto sleep with him in between them one of them must have turned over on him slighty and crushed his rib without even knowing .
ever since hearing this i always said i would never have my babies sleep with me or dh in bed (just because i was totally paranoid , thats my own issue)

im not saying this to scare or make anyone who does sleep with their baby feel bad..im totally not judging ..just please be safe I have friends who do sleep with their lo and yes you CAN do it safely maybe get that baby bed sleeper that you can put on your bed for your lo's to sleep in

Message edited 12/9/2011 8:45:56 AM.

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

i was a single-mom and i co-slept with my son until he didn't want to sleep with me, anymore. he did it on his own when he was ready.

no. it's not for everyone. it worked for us. i'm glad i did it.

i have advice, just wanted to let you know of someone who did it and loved almost every minute of it

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

Thank you everyone for your responses. DH and I are going to try and rearrange our bedroom tonight and put the co-sleeper on my side of the bed and see if that makes a difference. Originally the pack and play was at the foot of the bed and he was using the newborn napper part of it. We tried a rocker and a swing and still the same results- NOT ENOUGH HOURS SLEEPING lol. He does love the bed but I feel so guilty when I have him in there at night all though its the easiest thing being that Im breastfeeding. Plus to simply have him near me is such a joy.

Im also afraid of how its going to limit my DH and my ability to reconnect. Seems as though at night, even if it its simply him putting his arm around me is all we have left as a way of reconnecting. I feel guilty to have said that out loud now that Im a mom but I know that "me time" is important too. Additionally Im afraid of whats to come when my DS gets older and its a fight to get him out of our bed and into his on (or not) But, crossing my fingers lets see if the co-sleeper works. I'll keep you guys posted. So far you all have been very helpful and I appreciate all your responses and wonderful recommendations.

Also im wondering if he's sleepig so few hours because he's only 3 weeks (today yay!), not getting enough food because he's breast fed, or what? A few people have recommend putting cereal in his milk when DH feeds him from the bottle at night. My mom and aunt recommends it but I feel he's way to young to have something so heavy in his belly. Thought?

Im pretty optimistic that it will get better. Just gotta stick to my guns and as a few of you siad go with my gut instinct.

Thanks again,
Caleb's mom

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

I have the co-sleeper mini, gonna try it tonight. Will let you know. Did you use it and if so found ne success in it?

Thanks for the advice, cuz i was about to return it.

How do I post on parenting? Still new to this sorry!

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

Use the rock and play sleeper usually for day time naps and he likes it for a few. Its the one thing I use when he allows me a chance to shower, I bring it in the shower or next to the bathroom with me so that he's in an ear shot should he start to cry. So far he's been pretty good.

At night, its difficult because its so low to the ground that I cant see him from the bed. But it has come in handy.


Thank you for your recommendation

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

Posted by computergirl

Posted by Calebsmom

Im also afraid of how its going to limit my DH and my ability to reconnect. Seems as though at night, even if it its simply him putting his arm around me is all we have left as a way of reconnecting. I feel guilty to have said that out loud now that Im a mom but I know that "me time" is important too. Additionally Im afraid of whats to come when my DS gets older and its a fight to get him out of our bed and into his on (or not) But, crossing my fingers lets see if the co-sleeper works. I'll keep you guys posted. So far you all have been very helpful and I appreciate all your responses and wonderful recommendations.

I am not a fan of co-sleeping in general, and I particularly would not feel comfortable with a tiny newborn in my bed. But I sense so much anxiety in your post, like things are going to be this way forever.

Your baby is only 3 weeks old-- babies don't sleep for long stretches at that point! Cosleeping or not cosleeping, babies are very unpredictable at that stage and don't have a real sleep schedule. Don't project into the future about whether you'll be able to reconnect with your DH or have "me time". This is just a phase of motherhood, it will pass and you and the baby will get into a routine, and there will be time for your DH and time for yourself! Once you get past the first couple of months, the baby will start sleeping for longer stretches and everyone will feel better about things

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

posted by computergirl
I am not a fan of co-sleeping in general, and I particularly would not feel comfortable with a tiny newborn in my bed. But I sense so much anxiety in your post, like things are going to be this way forever.

Your baby is only 3 weeks old-- babies don't sleep for long stretches at that point! Cosleeping or not cosleeping, babies are very unpredictable at that stage and don't have a real sleep schedule. Don't project into the future about whether you'll be able to reconnect with your DH or have "me time". This is just a phase of motherhood, it will pass and you and the baby will get into a routine, and there will be time for your DH and time for yourself! Once you get past the first couple of months, the baby will start sleeping for longer stretches and everyone will feel better about things
____________________________________

with the amount of sleep or lack of sleep we've been getting it feels like this is what the future holds for us. But realistically speaking I know its all a matter of time. It just bothers me to here him cry and not sleep at night.

I'll keep your advice and look for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. In a few months prayfully i'll be singing a new song.

Thanks

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

At 3 weeks that's all DD was sleeping as well. BM digests very quickly, so BF babies need to eat more often. Just go with the flow and in a few weeks your DS will sleep slightly longer stretches. I just went with DDs flow instead of trying to force her into sleeping more or getting on a schedule and by 12 weeks she was STTN. By 4 months she had set her own schedule and is very rigid about it. Things will get better.

Rice in the bottle at night to help them sleep is just an old wives tale - no truth to it.

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

Jen Marie posted
At 3 weeks that's all DD was sleeping as well. BM digests very quickly, so BF babies need to eat more often. Just go with the flow and in a few weeks your DS will sleep slightly longer stretches. I just went with DDs flow instead of trying to force her into sleeping more or getting on a schedule and by 12 weeks she was STTN. By 4 months she had set her own schedule and is very rigid about it. Things will get better.

Rice in the bottle at night to help them sleep is just an old wives tale - no truth to it.
____________________________________

Simply comforting to know Im not alone. (smile)



Thank you,

Cassnadre

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

When I was single it was great. I have to say we both slept better together than apart. However when it was time to sleep alone it did NOT go well.

I tried it with my 2 year old and it was not good for my marriage.

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

Are you swaddling? I have been told the first 3-4 months with a newborn is like the 4th trimester. He may be startling awake. I would definitely try feeding him as long as you can in these beginning weeks, so he is full. A BF baby usually will not overeat, but you may have to nudge him awake by tickling his feet or getting him undressed. Good luck

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

I did this in the beginning, minus DH. But as soon as I could, I moved both DD and DS out of my bed. My Aunt and Uncle were my motivation. My cousin slept in their bed til she was 10. I didn't want that.

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

Co sleeping is very dangerous at that age. I wouldnt consider it unless you have a cosleeper that you can put the baby into.

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

This is just my opinion but I'm not a fan of co-sleeping. I think in the long term it creates more issues and problems. DH and I agreed long before kids that our bed was our bed and our children NEED to be in their own beds. Even if it seems like they sleep better with you (which is usually true) I think you're better off giving you child some time to figure out his own sleeping patterns and let him develop the ability to self soothe and sleep on his own in his bed.

As a NB/infant if my DD was having issues I would cuddle up with her on the couch and help her get to sleep but I didn't really ever bring her to bed. It's not a habit I wanted to start. The only times she comes to bed with us (even now at age 3) is when she's really sick because she is so miserable and really needs the extra cuddling all night. But as soon as she's feeling better she goes right back into her own bed at night.