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I am so aggravated and appalled.

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jilliibabii
Mrs. O'Connor

Member since 6/10

12821 total posts

Name:
Jillian

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

Posted by AngnShaun

Posted by headoverheels

It is not likely that he just went to the detention center for a couple of months and then was sent home. He is more than likely on probation which includes mandatory counseling.

I could understand being scared, but aggravated and appalled? How about concerned for his mental health? Should we just lock him up and throw away the key? And what if he is getting counseling, and doing well even - should he be shunned and harassed at school because of his prior history? Whatever happened to second chances? It saddens me that you are so "disgusted."



im actually shocked that you said he deserves a second chance... he raped someone... and it was premeditated... he had the sense to use the date rape drug on another child...

im totally agree with the OP shocked and appalled barely scratch the surface for me with this...



ITA. I'd be terrified for my own kids, too! I'm so sorry! Chat Icon Chat Icon At least you know though now!

Posted 10/29/10 10:57 AM
 
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît

Member since 6/07

42079 total posts

Name:
LB

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

Posted by jellybean1420

Posted by headoverheels

I could understand being scared, but aggravated and appalled? How about concerned for his mental health? Should we just lock him up and throw away the key? And what if he is getting counseling, and doing well even - should he be shunned and harassed at school because of his prior history? Whatever happened to second chances? It saddens me that you are so "disgusted."




What is more aggravating and appalling is how you think a teenager who PRE-MEDITATED a rape of another teenage boy by going out and purchasing a date rape drug, drugging the boy, than raping and sodomizing him deserves a 2nd chance???? Chat Icon

Yes, everyone should be concerned about his mental health because IMO this is only an inkling of what this kid is going to be capable of in the future.

ETA: AND your're concerned about the rapist being shunned and harassed at school??? Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

What about the boy he raped??? Don't you think everyone looks at him differently? Don't you think he feels embarrassed and may be shunned? Don't you think he will have to live with this for the rest of his life and this could have royally f'd him up mentally????

I FIND IT DISGUSTING THAT YOU ARE MORE CONCERNED WITH THE FEELINGS OF A RAPIST THAN THE FEELING OF A VICTIM!!!!



Wow. Chat Icon

I'm sorry I stated my opinion. I never dismissed anyone concerns over the feelings of the victim. I feel for him, more than you can ever know.

Maybe it's the nature of my job... I truly do believe that almost everyone deserves a second chance. Premeditated or not, I don't know anything about his background or mental health status and if he's getting the help he needs, he could completely turn his life around... isn't that worth something?

I never expected such a harsh response. I won't forget this.

Posted 10/29/10 10:57 AM
 

Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3

Member since 6/10

10818 total posts

Name:
E

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

most sex offenders are recidivists, regardless of age.

laws that have been proposed to provide mandatory inpatient treatment post-detention have been shot down because of civil liberties issues.

i think it's sad.

Posted 10/29/10 11:01 AM
 

GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!

Member since 1/07

14818 total posts

Name:

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this, I dont even know what I would do. Stuff like this makes me want to lock DD up and never let her out of the house, it is just so scary out there Chat Icon


Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 10/29/10 11:02 AM
 

Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!

Member since 6/06

14437 total posts

Name:
C

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

Posted by headoverheels

Wow. Chat Icon

I'm sorry I stated my opinion. I never dismissed anyone concerns over the feelings of the victim. I feel for him, more than you can ever know.

Maybe it's the nature of my job... I truly do believe that almost everyone deserves a second chance. Premeditated or not, I don't know anything about his background or mental health status and if he's getting the help he needs, he could completely turn his life around... isn't that worth something?

I never expected such a harsh response. I won't forget this.




It doesnt matter what his background is. There is NO excuse for what he did. Maybe if you knew someone who had been raped you would see things differently.

People who rape others in this manner have a serious mental illness and IMO they dont change...they are wired wrong. They go through counseling and learn ways to deter their urges but cold blooded, pre-meditated rapists are always that. That's why rapists come out of counseling or jail and rape again.

Posted 10/29/10 11:05 AM
 

headoverheels
s'il vous plaît

Member since 6/07

42079 total posts

Name:
LB

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

Posted by jellybean1420

Posted by headoverheels

Wow. Chat Icon

I'm sorry I stated my opinion. I never dismissed anyone concerns over the feelings of the victim. I feel for him, more than you can ever know.

Maybe it's the nature of my job... I truly do believe that almost everyone deserves a second chance. Premeditated or not, I don't know anything about his background or mental health status and if he's getting the help he needs, he could completely turn his life around... isn't that worth something?

I never expected such a harsh response. I won't forget this.




It doesnt matter what his background is. There is NO excuse for what he did. Maybe if you knew someone who had been raped you would see things differently.

People who rape others in this manner have a serious mental illness and IMO they dont change...they are wired wrong. They go through counseling and learn ways to deter their urges but cold blooded, pre-meditated rapists are always that. That's why rapists come out of counseling or jail and rape again.




I'm not trying to change your mind, or anyone else's. I have my opinion, you have yours. But your previous post was so unnecessary.

And don't assume that I don't know anyone who has been a victim of sexual assault.

Posted 10/29/10 11:09 AM
 

annoyedTTCer
LIF Adult

Member since 4/09

3272 total posts

Name:

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

Honestly I'd be fine with the rapist never seeing the light of day again.

Let him parents home school him or send his for private lessons.

Disgusting that he's allowed to go on with his life as if nothing happened while the other boy will live with this forever and have to miss playing time when this POS is around

Posted 10/29/10 11:16 AM
 

eddiesmommy
best buds!

Member since 5/09

11524 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

Posted by maybesoon

Posted by headoverheels

It is not likely that he just went to the detention center for a couple of months and then was sent home. He is more than likely on probation which includes mandatory counseling.

I could understand being scared, but aggravated and appalled? How about concerned for his mental health? Should we just lock him up and throw away the key? And what if he is getting counseling, and doing well even - should he be shunned and harassed at school because of his prior history? Whatever happened to second chances? It saddens me that you are so "disgusted."




Chat Icon If this happened to your child I can guarantee you would not give a HOOT about his mental health . and YES he should be locked up . if he has the capacity to do this to someone he will do it again



yeah I agree.

Posted 10/29/10 11:18 AM
 

Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!

Member since 6/06

14437 total posts

Name:
C

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

Posted by headoverheels

Posted by jellybean1420

Posted by headoverheels

Wow. Chat Icon

I'm sorry I stated my opinion. I never dismissed anyone concerns over the feelings of the victim. I feel for him, more than you can ever know.

Maybe it's the nature of my job... I truly do believe that almost everyone deserves a second chance. Premeditated or not, I don't know anything about his background or mental health status and if he's getting the help he needs, he could completely turn his life around... isn't that worth something?

I never expected such a harsh response. I won't forget this.




It doesnt matter what his background is. There is NO excuse for what he did. Maybe if you knew someone who had been raped you would see things differently.

People who rape others in this manner have a serious mental illness and IMO they dont change...they are wired wrong. They go through counseling and learn ways to deter their urges but cold blooded, pre-meditated rapists are always that. That's why rapists come out of counseling or jail and rape again.




I'm not trying to change your mind, or anyone else's. I have my opinion, you have yours. But your previous post was so unnecessary.

And don't assume that I don't know anyone who has been a victim of sexual assault.




I'm not trying to change your mind either. But think about it from a different point of view for a minute.

If your daughter was 13, maybe 14, and a 15 year old boy gave her the date rape drug and than raped and sotomized her, you would be ok with him going to juvenile detention for a few months and than coming back home and playing football and resuming normal everyday life as if nothing happened??? While you are dealing with a daughter who is emotionally and mentally broken, crying all the time, you are taking her to counseling all the time to help build up her self-esteem and explain to her that not all men are like that.
And you sitll think he should be given a second chance???

I feel for the guy who is 21 in bar who brings home a girl from a bar who gets into a bar with a fake ID says she 21 and is really only 17 and mommy and daddy get mad about it and accuse him of rape and he is dragged through the mud for it. I dont feel for a pre-meditated rapist who preys on others weaker than them. Thats why they are called predators...that's what they are.

Posted 10/29/10 11:26 AM
 

Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed

Member since 4/09

6612 total posts

Name:

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

Posted by jellybean1420

Posted by headoverheels

I could understand being scared, but aggravated and appalled? How about concerned for his mental health? Should we just lock him up and throw away the key? And what if he is getting counseling, and doing well even - should he be shunned and harassed at school because of his prior history? Whatever happened to second chances? It saddens me that you are so "disgusted."




What is more aggravating and appalling is how you think a teenager who PRE-MEDITATED a rape of another teenage boy by going out and purchasing a date rape drug, drugging the boy, than raping and sodomizing him deserves a 2nd chance???? Chat Icon

Yes, everyone should be concerned about his mental health because IMO this is only an inkling of what this kid is going to be capable of in the future.

ETA: AND your're concerned about the rapist being shunned and harassed at school??? Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

What about the boy he raped??? Don't you think everyone looks at him differently? Don't you think he feels embarrassed and may be shunned? Don't you think he will have to live with this for the rest of his life and this could have royally f'd him up mentally????

I FIND IT DISGUSTING THAT YOU ARE MORE CONCERNED WITH THE FEELINGS OF A RAPIST THAN THE FEELING OF A VICTIM!!!!



Thank you 100% agree.

Headoverheels, you are rightfully being flamed. The individual who perpetrated this will never be a 'normal' member of society. And to be concerned about his mental health just shows (again) how upside down this country is. I've said this before on this website and i'll say it again, that I feel the country as a whole is upside down. Criminals are the new victims. Really?

WAKE UP HE'LL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR NEXT.

Posted 10/29/10 11:34 AM
 

familyoffive
LIF Toddler

Member since 6/10

483 total posts

Name:
Candice

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

Posted by jellybean1420

OMG...I would be LIVID!!! If this teenager has the ability to pre-meditate and rape another boy as a minor I am terrified what he will do as he gets older. He is obviously very ill and his home situation is not helping.

These are the kinds of cases where they need to be locked up and throw away the key but unfortunately that is not how our f'd up justice system works. In their eyes, he served his time and I'm sure is getting mandatory counseling and probation. I still dont think that is enough.

I feel horrible for the boy it happened to. God help someone if they ever touched or hurt either of my kids like that. He would be MIA!


ETA: The thing that is more troublesome is the school district is so scared to get sued that they are allowing him to participate in activities like football. Just shows how f'd up the world is.

Sorry...this kid belongs permanently locked up in a psych ward.



I TOTALLY AGREE!!!!! Keep a good eye on your kids.

Posted 10/29/10 11:37 AM
 

MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3

Member since 1/06

19197 total posts

Name:
Michelle

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

Posted by jellybean1420



I feel for the guy who is 21 in bar who brings home a girl from a bar who gets into a bar with a fake ID says she 21 and is really only 17 and mommy and daddy get mad about it and accuse him of rape and he is dragged through the mud for it. I dont feel for a pre-meditated rapist who preys on others weaker than them. Thats why they are called predators...that's what they are.




I actually know someone this happened to. He served jail time and had to register as a sex offender.

To the OP,I would feel the same way in your position.

Posted 10/29/10 11:39 AM
 

Daisy32
Mommy

Member since 2/08

8081 total posts

Name:

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

Posted by jellybean1420

Posted by nrthshgrl

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I wonder how Megan's law applies to juveniles. Chat Icon




I would contact your local politicians and get parents involved and in the know. I would not let this go.



yes please contact your local politicians and find out what your rights are. I agree with everyone else....this should not be taken lightly Chat Icon

Posted 10/29/10 11:47 AM
 

CookieMomster
Golden

Member since 5/09

6414 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

What is our world coming to? Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 10/29/10 11:48 AM
 

avamamma
My Girl

Member since 7/06

3395 total posts

Name:
Tara

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

Posted by headoverheels

It is not likely that he just went to the detention center for a couple of months and then was sent home. He is more than likely on probation which includes mandatory counseling.

I could understand being scared, but aggravated and appalled? How about concerned for his mental health? Should we just lock him up and throw away the key? And what if he is getting counseling, and doing well even - should he be shunned and harassed at school because of his prior history? Whatever happened to second chances? It saddens me that you are so "disgusted."



I would be scared, apalled and disgusted. She has every right to be, as does anyone else that comes into contact with this boy. He is a rapist- teen or adult. I would absolutely not want to live any where near him.

Would I be concerned for his mental health, absolutely not. My children and other innocent young children- Yes!

I know a family of young girls that live across the street from a teen boy who raped a toddler who his Mother was babysitting. Would I give a c#$p about this boy's mental health if that was my toddler who was raped???? No, I'd want to kill him!!!

I am a caring and empatheitc person, but when it comes to someone who does such a horrible thing to a child, I say LOCK THEM UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY!!!!!!!

ETA: To Op, I would tell every neighbor who lives on your block. Maybe you can all keep an eagle eye out to protect your kids.Chat Icon

Message edited 10/29/2010 11:57:25 AM.

Posted 10/29/10 11:53 AM
 

SuperHotSauce
LIF Infant

Member since 6/10

53 total posts

Name:

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

Posted by maybesoon

Posted by headoverheels

It is not likely that he just went to the detention center for a couple of months and then was sent home. He is more than likely on probation which includes mandatory counseling.

I could understand being scared, but aggravated and appalled? How about concerned for his mental health? Should we just lock him up and throw away the key? And what if he is getting counseling, and doing well even - should he be shunned and harassed at school because of his prior history? Whatever happened to second chances? It saddens me that you are so "disgusted."




Chat Icon If this happened to your child I can guarantee you would not give a HOOT about his mental health . and YES he should be locked up . if he has the capacity to do this to someone he will do it again



ITA %100!!!! It is VERY scary situation and my concern would first be my own children before I'm concerned about his mental health.

Posted 10/29/10 11:54 AM
 

neener1211
:-)

Member since 4/07

22952 total posts

Name:
J

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

Posted by 4ForMe

What do we even do.



I'm only going to address this part, because all of us arguing over who should be angry at this kid, and who isn't and flaming other posters, isn't going to change anything.

If I were you, I would let all of my neighbors know so that you can all look out for each others children on the block. I would also encourage each of my neighbors in writing to lawmakers to see what can be done to supply this information to neighborhoods in the future. Even if it took me writing a letter, passing it out and having people sign it and mail it off.

I know that I would want to know if this had happened and be able to be extra diligent in keeping my eyes open for not only my own kids, but other kids, and even adults in my neighborhood. If more people speak up and do something about not being notified, perhaps change will happen.

That's the real issue, being notified, no matter what age the person is, should occur. Because it doesn't matter if the rapist was 17 years and 355 days old or 85 . If they committed a crime like this, (putting what should happen to the general him/her aside), the public should be notified. Age in this case, should not be factor-that's my opinion anyway.





Posted 10/29/10 12:32 PM
 

SPECIALNEEDSMOMMY
A Healing for Gregory

Member since 1/07

1217 total posts

Name:
Barbara

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

Posted by Ayne11

1. Targeted his very young victim
2. thought out his whole plan
3. purchased date rape drug
4. went forward with the rape

NO second chance - period.






Absolutely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is disgusting, appalling and horrifying!!!!!!! What about the Mother of the child who was attacked ... the Father ... the other siblings .... What about the changes in their life because of this sick kid?????? Where is the compassion for all of them??????

SECOND CHANCES .... NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am in total agreement with the OP. She has every right to feel the way she does. If this was my child, I would have to pry my husbands hands from the throat of the child that did this.

Kids can't be kids anyone. You just don't know who your neighbors are. It's sad and terrifying. OP .... vent, vent, vent. You have my TOTAL SUPPORT for feeling the way you do!

Posted 10/29/10 12:38 PM
 

SusiBee
. . . . .

Member since 3/09

8268 total posts

Name:
S

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

How old is a child in middle school ?
12-13-14 ?

It is positively frightening that a child has the KNOWLEDGE and the RESOURCES to obtain date rape drug, has the KNOWLEDGE of how to use it, and the KNOWLEDGE of what to do to his victim.

This child is broken.
I fear that he will do this again because there is so much anger and violence in him at such a young age.

Posted 10/29/10 1:19 PM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

9280 total posts

Name:

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

Honestly I would consider moving, that is how horrifying I think that this situation is. This person, albeit a child, is a sex offender and he will strike again, it's just a matter of time. I do NOT believe in second chances for sex offenders. There is no rehabilitation for sex offenders in my opinion. If moving was not an option, I would explain to my children how dangerous and scary this boy is, and tell them that they must never ever talk to him. I would also get my children one of those emergency use cell phones and have them carry it with them whenever they will be in the vicinity of this boys house. I wouldn't want my kids to live in fear but I feel like the alternative is even worse.

And really, how irresponsible of social services to let this boy live in a house where he is virtually unsupervised. He should be living in a group home where he is constantly under the supervision of an adult.

Posted 10/29/10 1:22 PM
 

Goldi0218
My miracles!

Member since 12/05

23902 total posts

Name:
Leslie

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

Posted by SusiBee

How old is a child in middle school ?
12-13-14 ?

It is positively frightening that a child has the KNOWLEDGE and the RESOURCES to obtain date rape drug, has the KNOWLEDGE of how to use it, and the KNOWLEDGE of what to do to his victim.

This child is broken.
I fear that he will do this again because there is so much anger and violence in him at such a young age.



You would be surprised what children are exposed to. I have had 8 year olds in my class who could describe sex acts I have never heard of. Not exaggerating in the least. I have seen 5 year olds cuffed and carted to a psych ward because of things they have done and said. It is pathetic. In my heart of hearts, I know these kids cannot be rehabilitated. The future is very clear - dangerous and clear.

Posted 10/29/10 1:26 PM
 

Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!

Member since 8/05

20181 total posts

Name:

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

Posted by SPECIALNEEDSMOMMY

Posted by Ayne11

1. Targeted his very young victim
2. thought out his whole plan
3. purchased date rape drug
4. went forward with the rape

NO second chance - period.






Absolutely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is disgusting, appalling and horrifying!!!!!!! What about the Mother of the child who was attacked ... the Father ... the other siblings .... What about the changes in their life because of this sick kid?????? Where is the compassion for all of them??????

SECOND CHANCES .... NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am in total agreement with the OP. She has every right to feel the way she does. If this was my child, I would have to pry my husbands hands from the throat of the child that did this.

Kids can't be kids anyone. You just don't know who your neighbors are. It's sad and terrifying. OP .... vent, vent, vent. You have my TOTAL SUPPORT for feeling the way you do!



Me too!!! From one mom to another Chat Icon I would make it a point to tell everyone who is breathing in the neighborhood and school what is going on. I would also meet with school officials and tell them how uncomfortable all the parents are about this child. This kid needs to be watched and closely Chat Icon

Posted 10/29/10 1:32 PM
 

Kara
Now Zagat Rated!

Member since 3/07

13217 total posts

Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

I would be horrified and sick to learn something like this. I can understand why the OP is so upset and concerned. Sex offenders have an extremely scary rate of recidivism. I completely understand being appalled by this entirely situation.

I have to ask, though... If he didn't have to register and you weren't officially notified, how do you know what happened? Did you do any independent research to make sure you have the story accurate?

ETA -- I don't mean you have to hire a PI or anything -- just curious if you researched court records or if you are taking someone's word for this story. (Court records may be sealed, of course, if he's a minor.)

Message edited 10/29/2010 1:37:54 PM.

Posted 10/29/10 1:34 PM
 

Nifheim
allo

Member since 1/09

5476 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

i am sorry but that is a violent crime in my book and i don't care if your a minor the neighborhood should be notified (no name given just specifics) and if you figure out the person then so be it. Karma is a b i a t. It is proven that the majority of sex offenders will attack again. I would even say most likely this kid will do something even more evil.

Posted 10/29/10 1:35 PM
 

LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!

Member since 5/05

19417 total posts

Name:
L

Re: I am so aggravated and appalled.

You have every right to be aggravated and appalled. I would contact your local politician to see if you can get legislation passed to notify your neighbors that the boy did this. I would start a petition and see what you can do.

Chat Icon
ETA: I agree with Kara - how did you find out. I would never want to be responsible for spreading a rumor like that if it was not true....

EDIT 2.
According to http://criminaljustice.state.ny.us/nsor/faq.htm
An individual who is adjudicated as a youthful offender or juvenile delinquent is not convicted of a crime, and his or her records are not available to the public. As a result, he or she is not required to be registered in New York State. However, a juvenile offender convicted of a sex crime is required to register.

Message edited 10/29/2010 1:43:42 PM.

Posted 10/29/10 1:38 PM
 
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