am i a bad mom?

so i am trying to put my ten month old on a schedule i always would fail.

so this time i am being serious about it

well he woke up at 7am i fed him 4oz of yogurt and 4oz of fruit for breakfast at 8am.

he only ate half of it

i kept trying to refeed him the rest but he wouldnt want it.
i hate when my mom forces his mouth open he cries and she force feeds him i do not want to do that

but i feel sometimes its the only way he will eat

so i just gave up today i wasnt going to force him i threw out the remaining half of the yogurt and fruit and at 10am gave him his 7oz bottle to nap.

am i a bad mom for only feeding him half his breakfast becuase he didnt want it. am i starving him? i dont know what is the right way

throw it out or force feed him.

my dr would tell me let him eat as much as he wants and then just toss it eventually he will learn i eat at 8 am and then again at 2pm for soilds and will know now i gotta eat it all

which way is the right way to go? will he ever finish a meal?

i feel so guilty right now.

Re: am i a bad mom?

At 10 months, DS was eating three meals a day plus 3 bottles. We never forced him to eat. We would make him try one spoonful and then he was allowed to eat as much as he wanted, he was still getting nutrients from his formula. Plus keep in mind that their stomachs are tiny, so he may be getting full from those few tablespoonfuls he does eat.

Even now at 21 months, what he eats, he eats. If he's hungry he'll make it up at the next meal. I don't agree with forcing a child to eat (unless they are malnourished and not growing and need to eat).

Re: am i a bad mom?

I just tossed what she wouldnt eat.

I dont think you're a bad mom at all.

AJ just figured it out sooner or later. Still has days she won't finish breakfast and other days when she has huge suppers!

Re: am i a bad mom?

that seems like a full meal to me... but thats jmo.

I let abby determine when shes done eating only she can tell if shes "full" so NO! your not a bad mommy!!!! and its true your LO will learn the schedule and get more used to it!

Re: am i a bad mom?

Of course you are not.

I don't force feed my kids, I never have.

Re: am i a bad mom?

Is the dr concerned about his weight? If not, I would never force feed a baby. Babies have very strong hunger instincts. If he is hungry, he will eat. If not, he will not.

The best you can do is keep offering him food.

Re: am i a bad mom?

Personally, I would never "force feed" a child (and I would not my mom either)


the baby will eat when he is hungry...period

Re: am i a bad mom?

Posted by MikesWife

Is the dr concerned about his weight? If not, I would never force feed a baby. Babies have very strong hunger instincts. If he is hungry, he will eat. If not, he will not.

The best you can do is keep offering him food.

Re: am i a bad mom?

Posted by MikesWife

Is the dr concerned about his weight? If not, I would never force feed a baby. Babies have very strong hunger instincts. If he is hungry, he will eat. If not, he will not.

The best you can do is keep offering him food.

Message edited 6/18/2010 10:44:54 AM.

Re: am i a bad mom?

Maybe start with a bottle first thing in the morning instead of breakfast. DD always gets a bottle first and then breakfast 1.5-2 hours later. I never force her to eat, some days she even skips an entire meal b/c she just doesn't want it. As long as she's happy and getting enough formula at this age i'm not concerned.

Re: am i a bad mom?

4 oz. of each actually seems like a lot to me...my DS never ate that much in one sitting...so what he ended up eating seems fine, IMO.

I never force feed....he eats what he wants, and that's it. He knows when he's full and he'll stop.

He could also be teething...DS becomes very picky when he's teething, and doesn't eat as much as he normally would.

I wouldn't worry unless the Dr. is concerned about his weight or something.

Re: am i a bad mom?

Re: am i a bad mom?

I wouldn't force feed a child. He'll eat if he's hungry. DS never ate anywhere close to 8 oz of food in one sitting. Formula/BM should be the main source of nutrition for the first year. Don't stress out about food. It sounds like he's eating fine and gaining weight well.

Re: am i a bad mom?

1st of all, NO YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM! How could you even think that!

Please share this with your mom....under no circumstances should a baby be force-fed...never, ever, ever! You will wind up with a sick baby (vomit because feeding past the point of fullness) and can wind up with a bunch of behavioral feeding issues that may take a professional to reslove. The fact that he's crying too makes feeding a bad experience and can possibly hurt the baby. A little wasted baby food is not worth it. I mean would she want someone prying her mouth open after she is full and shoveling food in? Probably not. Babies get full and they stop opening their mouths...that's their cue that they do not want anymore. The clean plate club doesn't and shouldn't exist anymore.

Once your baby starts turning his head to food or clamping his mouth shut it's time to stop feeding. Please advise your mom of this.

I can not tell you how many yogurts or baby food containers I have thrown away because it was more than DS could take. It's perfectly ok for a child not to finish. Just because it's half his breakfast to you, he's fine with it. If he's still looking for food that's another thing, but if he's not, please listen to your baby and have grandma listen too.

Message edited 6/19/2010 11:10:40 AM.

Re: am i a bad mom?

Also wanted to add that someone in my son's life had "insisted" with baby food when he didn't want any and he wound refusing all baby food after that. I had to go back to square 1 with DS playing with baby food so he could see it was fun again.

And it isn't that important for a baby under 1 year to have baby food meals. They get most of their nutrition from formula still. Who's rule is it that a child needs to clean their plate all the time?

ETA: While I always agree to schedules, you are still accomplishing that even if he's not eating the whole thing. If he's not hungry at that time though the schedule that you have in your mind, may not mesh with him. Establish schedule with the bottle first and add solids in between but at least 1 hour after if he is having the bottle first. That's the best you can do. He will eat what he'll eat and you will have to be satisfied with that.

Message edited 6/19/2010 11:13:54 AM.

Re: am i a bad mom?

I never force them to eat. If they are hungry, they will eat.

Re: am i a bad mom?

Re: am i a bad mom?

DS still doesn't finish an entire yogurt and he is nearly 3! I just put it in a tupperware for him to finish later or the next day.

Re: am i a bad mom?

I never force fed DD. Babies know when they are full, and it's really the only time in their life that they will eat just because they are hungry. If you force feed, you teach to eat even if they are not hungry. Which is a bad habit to get into.

You are doing what you are supposed to. If if makes you feel better, maybe save the fruit and offer it again in a few hours as a snack. DD eats breakfast, a healthy snack, lunch, sometimes another healthy snack, and then dinner. She's not over weight and she's not starving.

Re: am i a bad mom?

I would put a stop to the force feeding since it is a negastive association to eating.

Have you tried offering a bottle firstt in the am? my ds has a bottle when wakes up then an hour or so later he has breakfast, and this routine is how we do all his feedings. and he gets a final bottle before his bath. in total, 4 bottles and 3 solid meals

Re: am i a bad mom?

if he ate 2oz fruit 2ozyogurt,that sounds like a good bkfast.

if he's hungry,he'll let you know. i dont really believe in force-feeding, only b/c myself and my mother were both force-fed by grandma (her mom) and it turned me off to food as I got older.

Re: am i a bad mom?