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note from the pre k teacher

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queenb
LIF Infant

Member since 5/05

359 total posts

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note from the pre k teacher

So i got a note home from DD pre k teacher and it reads


dear mr and mrs so and so


DD is having some difficulty socializing; she has had a hard time using her words. She seems to have trouble sharing. She also has become very attached to one of the other kids in the class. We are trying to express to her that we have to keep our hands to ourselves, that we are all friends, and that we cannot always play with one particular person. We just wanted to make you aware of what is going on.
thank you miss so and so

Im a little confused and bothered by this, I have never recieved a letter like this about any of my other girls (i have 2 big girls 12 and 13) And i really dont know to make of this.. am i not socializing her enough is this the start of some kind of issue? what the heck... I really could use a sounding board.. so ladies if you've BTDT or are a teacher.. HELP?? I am really confused.. Plus its friggin friday and now i have to wait until monday to ask any questions!!


thanks for ready if you got this far!!

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Posted 3/12/10 4:56 PM
 
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5

Member since 4/08

6489 total posts

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Mommy

Re: note from the pre k teacher

My first questions are:
-Is this the first time they are mentioning all these things?
-Why were they not discussed in person?
-Its now March, did she start there in Sept? Have these issues been going on all year?
-Pre-school is supposed to be where they learn all of these socialization skills.....have they been working on them? Did they all of a sudden just become an issue?

I don't get that note and would not be happy with the teacher that sent something like that home. As an ex-pre-school teacher I do not feel she should be addressing all of that in a note sent home nevermind on a Friday afternoon. If neither you or DH drop off or pick up she should have made a phone call.

Posted 3/12/10 5:10 PM
 

KartveliT
...

Member since 1/08

8363 total posts

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Re: note from the pre k teacher

ummm, aren't kids supposed to learn and teachers teach socializing and sharing in preschool?Chat Icon Or maybe I'm wrongChat Icon

Message edited 3/12/2010 5:14:25 PM.

Posted 3/12/10 5:13 PM
 

queenb
LIF Infant

Member since 5/05

359 total posts

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Re: note from the pre k teacher

Posted by MaMaTeenie

My first questions are:
-Is this the first time they are mentioning all these things?
-Why were they not discussed in person?
-Its now March, did she start there in Sept? Have these issues been going on all year?
-Pre-school is supposed to be where they learn all of these socialization skills.....have they been working on them? Did they all of a sudden just become an issue?

I don't get that note and would not be happy with the teacher that sent something like that home. As an ex-pre-school teacher I do not feel she should be addressing all of that in a note sent home nevermind on a Friday afternoon. If neither you or DH drop off or pick up she should have made a phone call.



Yes this is the first time this has ever been mentioned. I was in a few months ago for parent teacher conferences and they said she was doing great. I drop her off ( i did today and no one said anything) She has been with the same teachers since sept. Im kind of upset thats why i felt the need to ask. She seems fine to me. We go out and she friendly shes not shy or reserved. She shares at home (shes the 3rd hild out of 4 girls) we regularly play with my nephew who is 2 and she never has an issue.. Darn it i really dont want to stress about this all weekend.

Posted 3/12/10 5:15 PM
 

queenb
LIF Infant

Member since 5/05

359 total posts

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Re: note from the pre k teacher

i thought she was on level and i didnt see any issues. Now i worry that ive had parental blinders on!

Posted 3/12/10 5:17 PM
 

Karen
Just chillin'!!

Member since 1/06

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Name:
Karen

Re: note from the pre k teacher

The only thing I can think of is that the parents of the other child maybe said something, so that is why the teacher reached out to you?

Message edited 3/12/2010 5:19:56 PM.

Posted 3/12/10 5:19 PM
 

MaMaTeenie
Party of 5

Member since 4/08

6489 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Posted by queenb


Yes this is the first time this has ever been mentioned. I was in a few months ago for parent teacher conferences and they said she was doing great. I drop her off ( i did today and no one said anything) She has been with the same teachers since sept.



None of this sits well with me at all. I would not be happy with the teacher in this situation, but don't stress over it all weekend. I'd go in Monday and ask all of the things I mentioned above. Chat Icon

Posted 3/12/10 5:23 PM
 

Stacey1403
Where it all began....

Member since 5/05

24065 total posts

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Re: note from the pre k teacher

There definitely should have been some type of a dialogue leading up to a note like that. I would request a conference with the teacher and the director of the preschool.

Posted 3/12/10 5:24 PM
 

mommyago
♥ Lucas and Layla

Member since 8/08

2979 total posts

Name:
Jenise

Re: note from the pre k teacher

The way it says that she teaches to keep hands to themselves and saying that your DC has trouble sharing and using her words makes me believe that maybe your DC has hit or is arguing with another child and the teacher is trying to let you know in a "nice" way...i dont know it sounds strange the way its written, like theres some other thing going on

Message edited 3/12/2010 5:55:34 PM.

Posted 3/12/10 5:30 PM
 

browneyedgirl
family is all that matters

Member since 6/06

6513 total posts

Name:
browneyes

Re: note from the pre k teacher

i am honestly surprised reading some of these responses. they make me sadChat Icon

i don't teach pre-k, but elementary school. i have written many a note like the one above. i always try to express myself the best i can, but sometimes i have to write a note in 3 minutes and don't always say everything i want to say. i try to make phone calls, but don't always have time so a quick note has to do, and a followup phone call can happen the next day.

i read that note as the teacher trying to make you aware of what they are working on so that you can follow up at home. you should always be made aware of what is happening in school. is it possible that they have been working on these things at school and it hasn't been "that bad"? or maybe it's a fairly recent occurrence and the teacher wanted to know what she was dealing with before contacting you?

i try not to look at things in a defensive manner. please call the teacher on monday. you don't need to meet with the director unless the teacher is not treating your child properly or is not responding to you. it seems like the teacher wants your help, and is trying to work with your child.

i just don't understand how this note is so horrible. she's expressing the problem and what they are doing to address it. yes, it's always a shock when our kids aren't doing what we think they are, but teachers and parents should always work together for the good of the child.

Posted 3/12/10 5:42 PM
 

mosh913
baby boy coming spring '11

Member since 5/05

3133 total posts

Name:

Re: note from the pre k teacher

I don't teach pre-K but have taught K and am now teaching 1st. I would NEVER write a note like that. I would call the parent to express my concerns. That's just me though. I would respond with:
Dear Ms. so and so,
Thank you for your note. I appreciated being kept apprised of my child's behavior. However, I am now a bit concerned. Can we please schedule a time to discuss this in person. Thank you for your help.
Sincerely,
Mr. and Mrs. xyz

I wouldn't worry too much. The behavior sounds very typical of a preschooler. Sometimes I think expectations are WAY too high. It's preschool and that's were social skills/ socialization should really be facilitated (IMO)

Message edited 3/12/2010 5:58:07 PM.

Posted 3/12/10 5:57 PM
 

Tine73

Member since 3/06

22093 total posts

Name:
*********

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Posted by Stacey1403

There definitely should have been some type of a dialogue leading up to a note like that. I would request a conference with the teacher and the director of the preschool.



I agree - something like this warranted a phone call or face to face meeting. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 3/12/10 6:01 PM
 

queenb
LIF Infant

Member since 5/05

359 total posts

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Re: note from the pre k teacher

Oh i know its not horrible. and in no way do i have an issue with the teachers they have been wonderful. I am a little over cautious because my DH had many undiagnosed learning disabilities and from all the things his family has said about him as a child i wonder if he had a mild case of autism.
Just on a friday i would have hoped for a call.
My concern was that i had no idea that something was going on. DD doesnt hit at home and her little sister is a bully! so i would be suprised if she was doing that. but hey im not there all day so i dont know. I know that she is a personal space invader and i have been working on that with her she likes to hug and hold hands without asking. I have been working on that at home with her. I worry alot about her. i dont want her to struggle like my DH did. thats all.

Posted 3/12/10 6:03 PM
 

Charly
LOVE!

Member since 5/05

12578 total posts

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Re: note from the pre k teacher

My DD had similar issues - but she goes to a daycare/preschool and she used to socialize fine but once she started pre-k in a new building (but same kids) she had a lot of trouble. She wasn't socializing and was attached to one child. The director spoke to me about it directly and then I spoke to the teachers about it. My situation is probably different (was sociable, then stopped. Also started stuttering) and she actually receives services through CPSC for anxiety. BUT I was told face to face by the director.

Posted 3/12/10 6:04 PM
 

MaMaTeenie
Party of 5

Member since 4/08

6489 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Posted by browneyedgirl

i am honestly surprised reading some of these responses. they make me sadChat Icon


i just don't understand how this note is so horrible. she's expressing the problem and what they are doing to address it. yes, it's always a shock when our kids aren't doing what we think they are, but teachers and parents should always work together for the good of the child.



I don't see where anyone is saying the note is so horrible. I would write a note like this after previous conversations or multiple notes about said behaviors. This is a lot to address in one note and a lot to come to a parent with just out of the blue, especially when there have been no changes in routine. In addition, the mother just had a PTC and nothing was said. Of course the parent should be made aware, but for many parents this is their childs first school experience and sometimes need a little more time and care when addressing a problem. I just think under these circumstances a note is not the way to go, especially not a note written in a rush (if that was the case)

Posted 3/12/10 6:18 PM
 

jprimrose
I love my little munchkins!

Member since 10/05

3939 total posts

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Re: note from the pre k teacher

First, I think the issues she wrote in the letter should definitely be discussed in person, not written in a note. Second, as a teacher on leave of absence, I would never start a note or conversation off with something negative. Each time I had a conversation or a wrote a note I always began with something positive about the student. Lastly, it is weird that this is the first time she is bringing something up like this and it is March. I would schedule a meeting with her.

Message edited 3/12/2010 6:40:46 PM.

Posted 3/12/10 6:36 PM
 

browneyedgirl
family is all that matters

Member since 6/06

6513 total posts

Name:
browneyes

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Posted by MaMaTeenie

Posted by browneyedgirl

i am honestly surprised reading some of these responses. they make me sadChat Icon


i just don't understand how this note is so horrible. she's expressing the problem and what they are doing to address it. yes, it's always a shock when our kids aren't doing what we think they are, but teachers and parents should always work together for the good of the child.



I don't see where anyone is saying the note is so horrible. I would write a note like this after previous conversations or multiple notes about said behaviors. This is a lot to address in one note and a lot to come to a parent with just out of the blue, especially when there have been no changes in routine. In addition, the mother just had a PTC and nothing was said. Of course the parent should be made aware, but for many parents this is their childs first school experience and sometimes need a little more time and care when addressing a problem. I just think under these circumstances a note is not the way to go, especially not a note written in a rush (if that was the case)



oh i completely agree that a parent should ALWAYS be aware!Chat Icon

since a PTC just happened, that's why i was wondering if this was a new thing that just started happening, or got much worse in the past few weeks.

my point was just that the teacher may not realize how strongly her words came across to the parent, and the OP should call her on monday to find out what is going on.

horrible might not have been the right word to use. but right there you have an example as to how i used a word that didn't have any strong meaning and could have used a different word.Chat Icon

i just know that i can't always get to the phone to make a call so i'll write a note to let a parent know that i'm on top of something at school. i always welcome phone calls, but can't always make them when i need to.

a note may not have been the best idea, but i would just hope that the teacher wasn't thinking that way and made an honest mistake. i am a parent first, teacher second, and try to think of the parents of my students before i write or call with anything.

Posted 3/12/10 6:36 PM
 

MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!

Member since 2/07

9876 total posts

Name:
Beth

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Posted by mosh913

I don't teach pre-K but have taught K and am now teaching 1st. I would NEVER write a note like that. I would call the parent to express my concerns. That's just me though. I would respond with:
Dear Ms. so and so,
Thank you for your note. I appreciated being kept apprised of my child's behavior. However, I am now a bit concerned. Can we please schedule a time to discuss this in person. Thank you for your help.
Sincerely,
Mr. and Mrs. xyz

I wouldn't worry too much. The behavior sounds very typical of a preschooler. Sometimes I think expectations are WAY too high. It's preschool and that's were social skills/ socialization should really be facilitated (IMO)



ITA with all of this.

Posted 3/12/10 6:43 PM
 

jes81276
summer fun!

Member since 3/06

4962 total posts

Name:
Jaime

Re: note from the pre k teacher

I can;t imagine not calling a parent to discuss these issues....I would call the teacher and ask to have a meeting with her

Posted 3/12/10 7:19 PM
 

astroqueen74
Vibrant Health

Member since 1/07

2822 total posts

Name:
Karina

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Honestly, a call should of have been the best thing not a note in this case....especially on a Friday, because now your weekend is wondering wth happened and waiting to talk to her about it!

Call the teacher on Monday and hopefully things can be clarified. You know your child better then anyone so don't panic or get defensive (although if you do, it's understandable and normal) She's in pre-k a new experiecing a whole new world. Another thing, it is March? has there been any issues in the past and if so why haven't you heard from her about it? etc
HTH

Posted 3/12/10 7:45 PM
 

astroqueen74
Vibrant Health

Member since 1/07

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Name:
Karina

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Posted by jprimrose

First, I think the issues she wrote in the letter should definitely be discussed in person, not written in a note. Second, as a teacher on leave of absence, I would never start a note or conversation off with something negative. Each time I had a conversation or a wrote a note I always began with something positive about the student. Lastly, it is weird that this is the first time she is bringing something up like this and it is March. I would schedule a meeting with her.


I agree with you.

Posted 3/12/10 7:46 PM
 

queenb
LIF Infant

Member since 5/05

359 total posts

Name:

Re: note from the pre k teacher

no issues since she started this is the first note home we have received about any issues. i am more worried than defensive. I have other kids and have no problem listening if teachers think that there is an issue with my children. They are there all day with them and of course they might act diffrent at school than they do at home. I just dont want her to have any learning or socialization issues. As i stated earlier my DH had MANY and they went undiagnosed his whole life. the poor guy had to repeat kindergarten because of his issues. granted now we joke and call i "super kindergarten" bit i def dont want that to happen to DD. And if this is new what the heck could bring on a sudden change in behavior? and if its not why havent i been informed before? its just weird. the note was so vague.. what is she doing with her hands? I rarely ever see her hit. and its never to anyone but her little sister! no hitting or major sharing issues on playdates.. its all seems so out of character for her.. I guess thats what made me worried. sorry if i sound like a panicked parent.

Posted 3/12/10 8:21 PM
 

dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..

Member since 1/06

14917 total posts

Name:
Dawn

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Id be very upset if this was the first id heard of any issues and they were addressed and worded in a letter like this. I think the teacher should have called or set up a meeting.Chat Icon

Posted 3/12/10 8:23 PM
 

dpli
Daylight savings :)

Member since 5/05

13973 total posts

Name:
D

Re: note from the pre k teacher

I think this is a pretty big bomb to drop on a parent if it's the first you are hearing of any of these things. You should have received a phone call, IMO.

I would probably call or send a note back, requesting a meeting so you can speak to her in person about what is going on.

Posted 3/12/10 8:40 PM
 

queenb
LIF Infant

Member since 5/05

359 total posts

Name:

Re: note from the pre k teacher

Monday am i am going to the school for kindergarten registration so i will request a meeting with the teacher. and hopefully she will be able fit me in sooner than later. Im also sending a note in her backpack. I just hate to think that she has some new weird issues...

Posted 3/13/10 11:03 AM
 
 

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