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Vent: my mom bought my son..

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MrsRbk
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Member since 1/06

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Name:
Michelle

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

Posted by CaseyGirl


As for the initiation, yea...I knew it had to happen sometime! :) LOL



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Posted 9/5/09 5:06 PM
 
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lipglossjunky73
My Everything!

Member since 11/05

35670 total posts

Name:
<3

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

Just say the word - I have my initiation saved in my notebook that I FM to all new moms who go through their own! It is quite a good one Chat Icon

Posted 9/5/09 5:34 PM
 

Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!

Member since 10/05

29450 total posts

Name:
Diana

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

Can I just post another side to this -- last year I was in BRU and I saw this adorable Fireman's costume...my BIL is a fireman and had to get it for my nephew. I in no means was thinking he had to wear that for Halloween - and now with all of these responses I hope that my SIL didn't take it that I was buying him his "First" costume. I was just buying it for him to have -- because it was something cute and made me think of him (and my BIL when I saw it)

If you are upset by the costume don't put him in it on Halloween.

This post will def. have me second guess things like the fireman costume from now on because I never gave it a second thought and would never want to steal a new moms thunder.

Sorry you are so upset! Chat Icon

Posted 9/5/09 7:39 PM
 

nbc188
Best friends!

Member since 12/06

23090 total posts

Name:
C

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

I personally don't blame you for being annoyed, I have family members who tend to be overbearing and want to control things, therefore buying dresses for DD for holidays, etc. It's annoying...I want her to wear what I choose.

I think it's crazy that people are harping on your vent too!

Posted 9/5/09 8:28 PM
 

browneyedgirl
family is all that matters

Member since 6/06

6513 total posts

Name:
browneyes

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

i completely understand how you feel! it's not at all about being ungrateful, it's about a special tradition that is starting. a FRIEND of my MIL and my MIL bought DS christmas outfits last year! i was very upset because i had already bought his christmas and christmas eve outfits. i asked MIL to return hers and i returned the friend's gift. it was my first child's first christmas and it was very important to me that i dress him.

the thought that your mom put in should be appreciated. it's too bad she didn't talk to you about it first--maybe you could have gone shopping together and picked it out and she paid for it. that would have been a nice compromise.

Chat Icon

Posted 9/5/09 8:31 PM
 

Lizzy
Carson's Mama

Member since 2/08

2430 total posts

Name:
Elisabeth

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

My mom did the same thing...

For me, since I'm not taking her trick-or-treating or anything, I figure I will put it on her (butterfly) and then take pictures but that's about it.

I was annoyed, too and I think I will be even more annoyed if it happens next year when she can walk and actually trick or treat, KWIM?

Posted 9/5/09 8:32 PM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

Posted by pixie

OK...I understand you want to buy his outfit and you still can. But I am trying to bite my tounge here because I think posts like this are just insane. You should be grateful that your child has grandparent who want to spoil him. They live for this stuff...and it makes them so happy to give. Instead of venting, I think you should be appriciative, she meant no harm. How hard is it to bundle him in a cute outfit, take a picture, and take it off? I know Im going to get flamed- but I just had to put that out there.



I have been in her shoes and IMHO, it is overstepping...no flames, I just happen to disagree with you on this one Chat Icon

Posted 9/5/09 8:32 PM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

Seriously, after reading this thread, I have to say

who are any of us to question the OP's vent. If you disagree, that is fine but I think it is silly to try to get her to "get over it" due to whatever your experiences have been

I wish we could vent just to vent and not have to explain it......

Posted 9/5/09 8:36 PM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

Posted by dm24angel

I don't get when people attack others who vent and say that they should be "grateful".

Grateful is GIVEN...Believe me I am sure all of us are grateful to have parents in our lives, why though does that mean we cannot get annoyed with them?

Does everyone stop to say that when someone else annoys them? Oh be grateful you have a sister, be grateful you have a brother, a cousin, an aunt etc.

NO...Cmon people....allow others to vent and just accept you may not agree...but no need for a guilt trip.

I GET how the O/P feels.

We tried for YEARS to have my son and every "first" of his was HUGE for us. We looked for his first Halloween costume, Christmas outfit etc with so much excitment and I too would have assumed close family /friends would "get that".

I wouldnt EVER think to buy a first for a child not mine....

But ok...so it seems not everyone feels that way, well so be it. We all have our own ideas of what we expect...and there is no wrong here...

On the FLIP side....those who it doesn't bother....we could say " oh you must not care as much for your child as I do , because you dont care if someone else picks out their "first". That can be said right? But thats silly....Its not true....just like someone being "ungrateful" etc is not true.

Lets try to see BOTH sides to each debate.



I did not read this before my last post but I agree 1000000000%Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/5/09 8:37 PM
 

architectnycity
LIF Adult

Member since 1/06

2592 total posts

Name:

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

Posted by monkeybride

Posted by pixie

OK...I understand you want to buy his outfit and you still can. But I am trying to bite my tounge here because I think posts like this are just insane. You should be grateful that your child has grandparent who want to spoil him. They live for this stuff...and it makes them so happy to give. Instead of venting, I think you should be appriciative, she meant no harm. How hard is it to bundle him in a cute outfit, take a picture, and take it off? I know Im going to get flamed- but I just had to put that out there.



Because it's her kid and not her mom's and she waited 9 months to do his "firsts". Our moms had their chance with us and now it's our turn.
Jen I can totally understand how you feel. Believe me. Chat Icon



ITA.
I'd buy a new costume anyway and I would tell my mom I already bought one.

Posted 9/5/09 9:05 PM
 

Sassyz75
Turning a new page

Member since 5/05

9731 total posts

Name:
Dina

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

I understand- my grandma (dd's great grandma) bought her first halloween costume w/o asking me- an angel.. and that is what she was.. honestly I was working by then & I didn't have time to go shop.

believe me when I say this will be the first of MANY parenting annoyances.

Posted 9/5/09 9:46 PM
 

Jencee73
LIF Adult

Member since 8/07

999 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

Jen, I understand where you're coming from. My MIL is insisting on buying DD a dress to wear for her 1st birthday party. I said fine, she will wear your dress on the day of her actually birthday when we have both grandparents over. We're having a party the day after with family and friends and DD will wear the dress that I buy her.

Posted 9/5/09 10:03 PM
 

MrsDiamondgrlie
Bailey

Member since 5/05

12810 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

My sister got DS his first Halloween costume last year and felt more akward about it than I did.

I get where you are coming from but I'm sure it was done with good intentions.

Posted 9/5/09 10:20 PM
 

smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!

Member since 5/06

32461 total posts

Name:
me

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

Posted by dm24angel

I don't get when people attack others who vent and say that they should be "grateful".

Grateful is GIVEN...Believe me I am sure all of us are grateful to have parents in our lives, why though does that mean we cannot get annoyed with them?

Does everyone stop to say that when someone else annoys them? Oh be grateful you have a sister, be grateful you have a brother, a cousin, an aunt etc.

NO...Cmon people....allow others to vent and just accept you may not agree...but no need for a guilt trip.

I GET how the O/P feels.

We tried for YEARS to have my son and every "first" of his was HUGE for us. We looked for his first Halloween costume, Christmas outfit etc with so much excitment and I too would have assumed close family /friends would "get that".

I wouldnt EVER think to buy a first for a child not mine....

But ok...so it seems not everyone feels that way, well so be it. We all have our own ideas of what we expect...and there is no wrong here...

On the FLIP side....those who it doesn't bother....we could say " oh you must not care as much for your child as I do , because you dont care if someone else picks out their "first". That can be said right? But thats silly....Its not true....just like someone being "ungrateful" etc is not true.

Lets try to see BOTH sides to each debate.



ITA.

EJ does not have any grandparents on DH side. They both passed. I could go on and on about how lucky someone is to have grandparents for their DC. But what's the point!

The OP felt terrible that her mom took this moment from her.

She is venting. We really should not transfer our own feelings on someone's frustration. I have been guilty of doing this in the past and this is not what the OP was looking for. We all have things in our lives that may or may not seem important to somebody else. That does not make them more or less valid.

But I am glad that Diana posted about her experience. She did it never thinking she was maybe infuriating someone for buying the costume but just because it was cute and not because she wanted it to be THE costume for Halloween.

Posted 9/5/09 10:28 PM
 

monkeybride
My Everything

Member since 5/05

20541 total posts

Name:

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

Posted by KateDevine

Posted by CaseyGirl

Posted by KateDevine

Posted by BigB

I understand your frustration, I do....but what I have learned to do is let my mom just do it. It makes her so happy (and there are few things that make her happy!)

I also figure, hey better her money then mine! LOL...Is that horrible? Chat Icon




ITA with this.

I mean, DS had a costume for his first Halloween and one of my mom's friends bought him one as a gift, so he wore that one.

I'm sorry, but I don't see what the big deal is, I wish someone would buy DS' this yearChat Icon



Well I guess that's how you feel but that's not how I feel...it's NOT the end of the world but I do feel my mom overstepped a bit.

And to the people who called me ungrateful or whatever...just like Donna (DM24angel) said..we also tried for YEARS to have my son so I'm sorry but this is very special to me, as I'm sure it is to any mother....I am allowed to vent whenever I want...to say this is not worthy of a vent is ridiculous...I thought we could all come on here to the Parenting board to discuss things...I'll be sure to ridicule you next time any of you have a vent that I feel is "unworthy" Chat Icon ..I am not UNGRATEFUL or UNAPPRECIATIVE of my mother...give me a break....that's just ridiculous. You don't know me. I will put the costume on him and take a picture however I will be buying him an outfit of my own!

Thank you to the people who "get" what I'm saying Chat Icon



At the same time, why can't people post their opinions?

YOU feel that she overstepped, myself and a few others don't. Unfortunately, when you post on a public forum people can disagree with youChat Icon

I'm sorry you are upset about, I truly am, but at the same time, there are several solutions to it




She didn't ask for opinions. If she did that would be different. She's a new mom and just needed to vent about how she was feeling.
Man this board sucks lately.

Posted 9/5/09 10:32 PM
 

HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron

Member since 4/07

9091 total posts

Name:
baby fish mouth

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..


he doesn't have to wear it....

Message edited 9/5/2009 10:43:17 PM.

Posted 9/5/09 10:42 PM
 

LJSMommy
Love him!

Member since 10/07

3189 total posts

Name:

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

Nevermind......didn't read all the way through......

Message edited 9/5/2009 11:09:20 PM.

Posted 9/5/09 11:07 PM
 

Candy Girl
Candy girl- you are so sweet!

Member since 11/07

6349 total posts

Name:
erin

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

IMO, it doesn't matter what the OP's "intentions' were, but by posting that she was annoyed or upset or whatever wording she used (too lazy too go back and look) by someone going out of their way to purchase gifts for her child is absolutely ungrateful and kind of spoiled, again this is in my humble opinion/

And for those who are saying that it took the OP so long to have her child and she should be entitled to have these feelings, well, i agree. The OP can feel whatever way she wants to. But remember, it took us ALL a long time to have our first children. It took me 32 years, in fact. I don't think those that had a harder time conceiving get a "pass" when it comes to whining. Sorry if it sounds harsh.

And when you come on a public board to vent about your frustration about your child's grandparent's buying him or her gifts, it might strike a chord with some other posters. They have a right to vent their feelings about the subject posted as well.

I hope the OP finds the perfect Halloween costume for her DC and that all end up well.



Chat Icon

Edited: Typing errors...

Message edited 9/5/2009 11:21:52 PM.

Posted 9/5/09 11:20 PM
 

Deedlebugs
Blessed

Member since 12/05

10281 total posts

Name:
Kiki

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

My MIL bought my DD her first Halloween Costume and my Mom and Dad bought my DD her first Christmas dress. I was very grateful and feel blessed to have people who think about my child and spend their hard earned money on her.

You get to have tons of "firsts" with your DS, let the Grandparents have these little things.Costumes and clothing are not that important when it comes to parenting and it makes the Grandparents happy.

I am most certainly NOT telling you how to feel, just offering another perspective.

Message edited 9/5/2009 11:29:28 PM.

Posted 9/5/09 11:22 PM
 

Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!

Member since 10/05

29450 total posts

Name:
Diana

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

Posted by smdl

Posted by dm24angel

I don't get when people attack others who vent and say that they should be "grateful".

Grateful is GIVEN...Believe me I am sure all of us are grateful to have parents in our lives, why though does that mean we cannot get annoyed with them?

Does everyone stop to say that when someone else annoys them? Oh be grateful you have a sister, be grateful you have a brother, a cousin, an aunt etc.

NO...Cmon people....allow others to vent and just accept you may not agree...but no need for a guilt trip.

I GET how the O/P feels.

We tried for YEARS to have my son and every "first" of his was HUGE for us. We looked for his first Halloween costume, Christmas outfit etc with so much excitment and I too would have assumed close family /friends would "get that".

I wouldnt EVER think to buy a first for a child not mine....

But ok...so it seems not everyone feels that way, well so be it. We all have our own ideas of what we expect...and there is no wrong here...

On the FLIP side....those who it doesn't bother....we could say " oh you must not care as much for your child as I do , because you dont care if someone else picks out their "first". That can be said right? But thats silly....Its not true....just like someone being "ungrateful" etc is not true.

Lets try to see BOTH sides to each debate.



ITA.

EJ does not have any grandparents on DH side. They both passed. I could go on and on about how lucky someone is to have grandparents for their DC. But what's the point!

The OP felt terrible that her mom took this moment from her.

She is venting. We really should not transfer our own feelings on someone's frustration. I have been guilty of doing this in the past and this is not what the OP was looking for. We all have things in our lives that may or may not seem important to somebody else. That does not make them more or less valid.

But I am glad that Diana posted about her experience. She did it never thinking she was maybe infuriating someone for buying the costume but just because it was cute and not because she wanted it to be THE costume for Halloween.



I had actually asked her a month or so later "What is he being for Halloween" and she said "The fireman costume you got him" - I was surprised and happy! I didn't expect it at all. I thought if anything they would just dress him up in it one random day and bring him to visit BIL at the firehouse!

Message edited 9/6/2009 7:09:43 AM.

Posted 9/6/09 7:07 AM
 

MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3

Member since 1/06

19197 total posts

Name:
Michelle

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

Posted by Snickers

IMO, it doesn't matter what the OP's "intentions' were, but by posting that she was annoyed or upset or whatever wording she used (too lazy too go back and look) by someone going out of their way to purchase gifts for her child is absolutely ungrateful and kind of spoiled, again this is in my humble opinion/

And for those who are saying that it took the OP so long to have her child and she should be entitled to have these feelings, well, i agree. The OP can feel whatever way she wants to. But remember, it took us ALL a long time to have our first children. It took me 32 years, in fact. I don't think those that had a harder time conceiving get a "pass" when it comes to whining. Sorry if it sounds harsh.

And when you come on a public board to vent about your frustration about your child's grandparent's buying him or her gifts, it might strike a chord with some other posters. They have a right to vent their feelings about the subject posted as well.

I hope the OP finds the perfect Halloween costume for her DC and that all end up well.



Chat Icon

Edited: Typing errors...





Wow....

First of all, no one is saying because it took Jen a long time to conceive that she has a "pass" when it comes to "whining" KateDevine said she didn't see what the big deal was, so I told her, that Jen waited a long time for this. And THAT was the big deal to HER.

Again, she wasn't looking for anyone's opinions, she came to vent about feeling upset by this. A little support goes a long way.... seriously, I've seen vents on this board that I thought were just plain ridiculous but keep my thoughts to myself and just offer some hugs without feeling the need to make the OP feel even worse than they do.

Also, Jen is only 4 weeks post partum, look back at how you were feeling (I'm using you in the general sense, not you particular) at 4 weeks pp, your hormones are all over the place, adjusting to a new life. Geez, at 4 weeks pp if someone would have said "hello" to me there was a good chance I'd flip.

And lastly, if you knew ANYTHING about the OP, you'd know she is the farthest from being ungrateful and spoiled.

Jen - I'm so sorry your thread got this way. You know I Chat Icon you! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Getting off my box now and going back to bed as this was my morning to sleep in....but I had to respond to this post.

Posted 9/6/09 7:19 AM
 

monkeybride
My Everything

Member since 5/05

20541 total posts

Name:

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

Posted by Snickers

IMO, it doesn't matter what the OP's "intentions' were, but by posting that she was annoyed or upset or whatever wording she used (too lazy too go back and look) by someone going out of their way to purchase gifts for her child is absolutely ungrateful and kind of spoiled, again this is in my humble opinion/

And for those who are saying that it took the OP so long to have her child and she should be entitled to have these feelings, well, i agree. The OP can feel whatever way she wants to. But remember, it took us ALL a long time to have our first children. It took me 32 years, in fact. I don't think those that had a harder time conceiving get a "pass" when it comes to whining. Sorry if it sounds harsh.

And when you come on a public board to vent about your frustration about your child's grandparent's buying him or her gifts, it might strike a chord with some other posters. They have a right to vent their feelings about the subject posted as well.

I hope the OP finds the perfect Halloween costume for her DC and that all end up well.



Chat Icon

Edited: Typing errors...




Wow that really did not come across well at all. To me it was very harsh and inconsiderate. Comparing your 32 years of life waiting for a baby to infertility is just plain ignorant. And I don't think she was asking for any kind of pass or sympathy. Just a place to vent which is what this board used to be great for.
I think I'm getting to the point that some of the other mom's on here have and just being done with this place.

Posted 9/6/09 10:12 AM
 

Stacey1403
Where it all began....

Member since 5/05

24065 total posts

Name:

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

Posted by monkeybride

Posted by Snickers

IMO, it doesn't matter what the OP's "intentions' were, but by posting that she was annoyed or upset or whatever wording she used (too lazy too go back and look) by someone going out of their way to purchase gifts for her child is absolutely ungrateful and kind of spoiled, again this is in my humble opinion/

And for those who are saying that it took the OP so long to have her child and she should be entitled to have these feelings, well, i agree. The OP can feel whatever way she wants to. But remember, it took us ALL a long time to have our first children. It took me 32 years, in fact. I don't think those that had a harder time conceiving get a "pass" when it comes to whining. Sorry if it sounds harsh.

And when you come on a public board to vent about your frustration about your child's grandparent's buying him or her gifts, it might strike a chord with some other posters. They have a right to vent their feelings about the subject posted as well.

I hope the OP finds the perfect Halloween costume for her DC and that all end up well.



Chat Icon

Edited: Typing errors...




Wow that really did not come across well at all. To me it was very harsh and inconsiderate. Comparing your 32 years of life waiting for a baby to infertility is just plain ignorant. And I don't think she was asking for any kind of pass or sympathy. Just a place to vent which is what this board used to be great for.
I think I'm getting to the point that some of the other mom's on here have and just being done with this place.



ITA besides Jen is one of the sweetest people on this board. Way to welcome her over hereChat Icon

Posted 9/6/09 10:16 AM
 

KateDevine
*

Member since 6/06

24950 total posts

Name:

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

Posted by MrsRbk



Wow....

First of all, no one is saying because it took Jen a long time to conceive that she has a "pass" when it comes to "whining" KateDevine said she didn't see what the big deal was, so I told her, that Jen waited a long time for this. And THAT was the big deal to HER.




I just want to say something here in my OWN defense, I quoted someone and I was not mean or nasty, I said *I* didn't see what the big deal was, and you really seem to have a bug up your butt for me!!

I was not being nasty to the OP, and like I said, I am truly sorry she is upset!

And I do still wish that someone would buy DS' costume this year like they have the past couple of yearsChat Icon

Posted 9/6/09 10:19 AM
 

CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)

Member since 5/05

19978 total posts

Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...

Re: Vent: my mom bought my son..

Snickers - how dare you call me spolied and ungrateful...you don't even know me! I would NEVER have the nerve to say that to someone who i don't even know..I am far from it but you wouldn't know that you just took it upon yourself to judge...

For God's sake people... i was VENTING that my mom took it upon herself to buy my kid a costume and that action annoyed me. That's all....I'm still gonna put it on him to make my mom happy. And yea I waited a long time too to have him - 5 years of TTC in fact - thousands of dollars and many days and nights of heartbreak - but as I said before, I wasn't saying because of that it is so much more special, it's just a "first" I've been waiting forever for and my mom annoyed me, just like anyone else.

For all of you who think I'm ungrateful, spoiled, whatever....get off your high horses.

I'm done defending what I honestly thought was just a vent to fellow moms...

Message edited 9/6/2009 6:02:52 PM.

Posted 9/6/09 10:23 AM
 
Pages: 1 2 [3] 4
 

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