Moms of kids approximately 2 yrs apart, how bad is the sibling rivalry?

I have major baby fever. I've been obsessed with child spacing recently. DH is on board and said we can start TTC later this year. I'm hoping our kids will be about 2 years apart.

BDTD moms, how bad is the sibling rivalry if your kids are about 2 years apart?

Did your older child feel a lot of jealousy when the baby was born?

Re: Moms of kids approximately 2 yrs apart, how bad is the sibling rivalry?

My kids are 18 months apart. There was definitely some jealousy, but I think that will always be the case. The first isn't used to not being the one and only!

As for the sibling rivalry, it started to get bad when DS started moving and able to touch/take/play with DD things. But again I think that will happen at any age, because kids always want what the other has. There are days I want to throw all the toys out, but then there are the moments you see the love between them and it makes the rest not matter. For example the other night my DD was crying and my DS would not go to sleep until she came in his room and he saw she was ok. He's only 20 months and he kept yelling "nana, nana, nana" (her name is Hannah) and refused to go in the crib until he got a hug So for all the times they act like they don't like each other, I know they do

Message edited 1/31/2010 9:46:33 PM.

Re: Moms of kids approximately 2 yrs apart, how bad is the sibling rivalry?

My son was just over two when my other son was born. Absolutely no jealousy over here. He has loved him since the second he laid eyes on him. I would imagine that every child is different though.

Re: Moms of kids approximately 2 yrs apart, how bad is the sibling rivalry?

MY DS was 2 1/2 when the twins were born.....no jealousy towards them at all!! He adores them. He does sometimes seem like he misses his one on one time with me, but he is amazing with the babies.

Re: Moms of kids approximately 2 yrs apart, how bad is the sibling rivalry?

My kids are 17 months apart and there is zero rivalry.

Re: Moms of kids approximately 2 yrs apart, how bad is the sibling rivalry?

My 2 boys are 20 months apart and all they do is fight. It may be a boy thing. I dont know. And yes, they both strive for my attention.

Re: Moms of kids approximately 2 yrs apart, how bad is the sibling rivalry?

Older child got special attention and I tried to include him in everything

Really though? I feel like #2 got the short end of the stick. #1 was so verbal and ruynning around I needed to give him attention and DS#2 kinda just sat there.

Now DS#1 LOVES DS#2...but he is annoying with taking his toys away and saying "mine"

2 years apart is great though--I really could see that they will bond and have a playmate in each other

Re: Moms of kids approximately 2 yrs apart, how bad is the sibling rivalry?

22 months apart here. Now 6 & 8 yo.

He doesn't remember her ever not being around. It took about 2 weeks before he stopped telling DH to feed the baby so I could hold him.

I think sibling rivalry is completely normal with any age gap.

Re: Moms of kids approximately 2 yrs apart, how bad is the sibling rivalry?

It gets worse when the baby gets older and more mobile. Grace and Jack are exactly 25 months apart and she is just starting to get jealous of him. He is a really engaging baby- always laughing at something- so people are drawn to him. I think she misses being the center of attention and will act out on him sometimes.

There is always going to be some form of sibling rivlary no matter what the age difference so I would say go for it. For us, it was the perfect time in between our children. You are still in little kid mode and its not such a drastic switch.

Re: Moms of kids approximately 2 yrs apart, how bad is the sibling rivalry?

my dd was almost 2 1/2 when KJ was born and there is no outward jealousy...she LOVES her brother, she sings to him and the other day she told him "brother, I will always be there for you, no matter what" (I had a sappy moment and said that to her the other day)

she has been acting out a bit and I attribute it to the new baby and her not getting 100% of our attention so in a way, that is jealousy, just not directed at the baby, kwim?

my sister and I are 20 months apart and we are super close, she is the closest person to me

Re: Moms of kids approximately 2 yrs apart, how bad is the sibling rivalry?

Re: Moms of kids approximately 2 yrs apart, how bad is the sibling rivalry?

Robbie and No are 26 months apart. In the early years there was virtually NO rivalry. Robbie had petulant moments.. but what toddler doesn't? We did a lot to make sure that he still felt special and loved and to really make sure he knew that the baby was NOT a replacement for him.

They were really good for a long time. BUT NOW? They are 8 & 6 and they swing from being best friends to mortal enemies at the drop of a dime. Most of the time the wars don't involve 'jealousy' per se - but every now and then we'll get the stray "IT'S NOT FAIR! You LET NOAH have XYZ!" And honestly? It's almost exclusively accusations from our older son - and usually untrue at that.

It can be a real drain - sometimes I feel like a referee. But when they are in sync it's just magic. They always have a best friend around.

ETA: When Robbie first came up to the hospital and met Noah he was very excited and liked holding him. But he was SHOCKED when he realized the baby was coming home with us and would ask me when we could bring him back! And just as Barb said, he'd sometimes try to get Rob to take the baby so I could spend more 'cuddle time' with him.

Message edited 2/1/2010 12:21:19 PM.