Edited: Graphic pictures showing this journey. Hello ladies...I'm out from the black hole!!!!

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Edited: Graphic pictures showing this journey. Hello ladies...I'm out from the black hole!!!!

Hello everyone! Thank you all so much for your kind words, well wishes, and support, it really made a difference and helped me feel like I was not alone.

Before I go on, most of you are not aware that I was the anonymous poster back in July/August who wrote about being diagnosed with a very rare and aggressive morpheaform basal cell carcinoma that went undiagnosed for god knows how long (had this flesh colored growth on my cheek since I was seven years old, had MD after MD look at me and it every year and tell me it was fine, etc.)

I had surgery to get this cancer out, and then another basal cell was discovered on my chin, not the rare, infiltrative morphea, just a regular basal cell carcinoma.

Anyway, I've had many laser treatment scar revisions, and to tell you the truth, with make up, a lot of people can't don't even know I had any surgeries at all (great plastic surgeon and dermatologists)

So, currently, I have no visible skin cancers on my face, that's why my NYU dermatologist recommended photodynamic therapy, to kill any precancers that are not yet visible.

I had the photodynamic therapy last Thursday, and I'm just starting to feel normal today. The procedure was horrible!

First I had microdermabrasion, then the Levulan medication was applied which burned like heck! I had to sit with this medication in a dark room for three hours...then I washed it off.

Then the fun part....I had to sit with my face directly in front of the BLU-LIGHT for 16 min. 40 seconds....these were the longest 16 minutes of my life. From 30 seconds in I had excruiating pain...like someone was actually setting fire to my face. The nurses were in the room the entire time and kept talking me through it, telling me the longer I hung in there, the better off I would be (killing more cancers, etc). If it was unbearable, I could've asked them to turn it off, but I kept thinking that I don't want to go through more surgeries so I hung in there.

After those 16 min. were up, the machine was off, and I thought it would be over...but the burning didn't stop...it just escalated! Nurses and MDs threw ice packs on my face and nothing worked. I was shaking with pain...the MD gave me a nerve blocker in my gums, trying to find the facial nerve...didn't work. They gave me Versed trying to calm me down, and of course, lucky me..I'm allergic to ALL morphine derivatives. The pain was so bad I made them give me a morphine derivative and I just suffered with the intense vomiting all the way home and all night (at least it took the edge off the pain).

Then I stayed in my basement for 48 hours, in the dark.

A wonderful vendor on this board (Pippy's Sweets) dropped off audio books at my DHs animal hospital, she left a letter that Liza from LIF contacted her about my situation, and she had these lying around. I was so moved my her generosity, and it helped me get through the darkness. I just realized that Liza is lipglossjunky! Thank you so much for everything! Your kindness has deeply moved my DH and I.

So, after the 48 hours passed, I came out of the basement with heavy sunscreen and finally looked at my face....I was swollen with such severe edema (my eyes looked like raisins), and my face was so severely burned; it just means that I have a lot of sun damaged pre-cancerous cells that are being attacked.

I've had to stay in the basement a lot of the daylight hours, because my house is all glass and I live on the water, so the sunlight is still very dangerous for my skin, and it made me feel sick.

So, to finish this off...my face has been peeling, and the edema is gone...and I'm starting to finally feel better. The redness has subsided to a light pink, and going away. Now, if I get any crusting/scabbing, those are actual cancers that have been killed. That's the next step I'm waiting for.

Hopefully, there will not be anymore cancers!

My MD thinks I may need another one to two more treatments (don't know if I can go through this, but if I have to, I guess I will).

Once again, thank you everyone
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Edited:

Since this is the first time I am "coming out" with my identity as to what happened to me, I figured I'd show pics of this process.

These are graphic and if you get queasy, don't look.

Pic 1:
Shows the cancer on my cheek...it is flesh colored and not noticeable. All dermatologists up to this point told me it was nothing, a benign hair follicle tumor that should not be removed, because it would cause an unnecessary scar.

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Image #2:

A week or so post op in July or August (now I can't remember when I had the surgery...some things you want to forget).

I needed a skin flap because I lost so much muscle. THe cancer was very deep a large.

Image 3:
About one month post op.

Image 4 and 5:

A few months after the surgery (I think it's around Sept). Scar is looking pretty good, especially with make up. Since this picture, I've had about 5 more laser treatments to help with the healing.

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Once I am healed with this therapy, I'll post more pics.

Thanks again everyone.

Message edited 12/18/2008 12:52:10 AM.

Posted 12/17/08 11:07 PM