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Starting to think my son has ADD

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EricaAlt
LIF Adult

Member since 7/08

22665 total posts

Name:
Erica

Starting to think my son has ADD

My son has been in a co-teaching class since kindergarten. He had EI when he was a baby till 3 then went to the public preschool for his IEP.

He is 13 now and testing out of his IEP. Already in regular math classes.
He gets A's, honors kid, likes sports, but there's always something off.
He's not hyperavtive, but distracted easily. Can't focus when there's a lot of conversation around him, zones out easily, etc.

I don't know where to go from here to even get him tested or even try something natural to help him focus.
He has lots of friends, but as he's getting older it's harder for him to get in these conversations when the boys are all going on and on about something. He uses his phone as his crutch or zones out too much.

Any help is appreciated. He has a great relationship with his guidance counselor at school who helped him last couple of years when he gets upset or puts too much pressure on himself. Especially with grades.
Any insight is appreciated. Thanks!

Posted 12/22/22 12:29 PM
 
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lima19
LIF Infant

Member since 5/19

105 total posts

Name:

Starting to think my son has ADD

Your son sounds amazing! Trust you mom intuition, but some kids are more quiet and having a little social quietness is not abnormal in itself. I'm like that, too and if it too chaotic around me, lots of different conversations, people jumping in and out of conversation, I become an observer and get distracted, more than a being a participant. How is he with one one one friendships. If fine, I'd say it's just his personality and nothing to worry about.

Posted 12/22/22 12:42 PM
 

Deeluvsvinny
DONE

Member since 10/08

4952 total posts

Name:
Whatever

Starting to think my son has ADD

What as his diagnosis that afforded him an IEP? The fact that he's doing well, usually means the IEP is working-- odd that they'd remove it. My daughter has an IEP for Dyslexia/dysgraphia and has a 96 average- I attribute that to the facts that she's smart, hardworking and her IEP. What are the services he gets with an IEP? What are the goals listed? Annualy, my daughter is re-evaluated and makes improvement, but we never say she's met all goals, or that would mean the IEP would be removed. Does the school evaluate him?

I have found that many kids with IEPs (in my experience) have some social issues/attention issues/motor skills issues-- its usually part of the underlying diagnosis. My daughter doesn't just have issues reading, her brain works differently, so other things are affected by that. Have you spoken to the SPED provider about your concerns? Can they downgrade the IEP to a 504- which just provided accomodations, not services?

Posted 12/22/22 12:53 PM
 

EricaAlt
LIF Adult

Member since 7/08

22665 total posts

Name:
Erica

Re: Starting to think my son has ADD

Posted by lima19

Your son sounds amazing! Trust you mom intuition, but some kids are more quiet and having a little social quietness is not abnormal in itself. I'm like that, too and if it too chaotic around me, lots of different conversations, people jumping in and out of conversation, I become an observer and get distracted, more than a being a participant. How is he with one one one friendships. If fine, I'd say it's just his personality and nothing to worry about.



Thank you so much for responding.
He's fine sort of. Hard to explain. He can goof around with his friends who are similar to him. Playing a video game or basketball, soccer, etc he can trash talk and have fun. Sitting at a restaurant with that same friend later he is more quiet. He was with his friend playing ping pong one afternoon talking a lot then they go to eat and his friend is talking to me a DH more since my son just stays kinda quiet. He uses his phone as a crutch to avoid lots of conversation and of course is a typical teenage boy where if he has his phone time will pass and not realize he has been taking off his shoes for 10 mins sitting on the floor when he gets home from school

Posted 12/22/22 12:55 PM
 

mommy2be716
LIF Adult

Member since 1/16

2921 total posts

Name:

Starting to think my son has ADD

Personally, I don't see this as much of a concern in terms of an IEP. As a special ed teacher (i teach algebra), if his grades are good and he's able to put enough focus into sitting for exams, studying, and maintaining a high GPA, then he really doesn't need the IEP. I agree with an above poster about losing the IEP but requesting a 504. This is strictly just a document that allows your son to receive testing accommodations on assessments. This could be extra time, questions read/reread, breaks during testing, focusing prompts, etc. It may be nice to have for Regents exams and SATs/ACTs

I have learned that many kids focus in weird ways. He may "check out" because his brain is tired, and his phone may be a way to cope with that. I just don't know if I would assume it's due to ADD, though. While I don't know your son, I know through many of my students that if they have ADD in any form, it's pretty consistently there. Meaning certain parts of a daily lesson, and certain aspects of testing, are typically a struggle for students. If he's able to maintain high grades and can focus within the classroom setting, that's huge.

also just a side note: I cannot stand when there's stuff going on around me when I'm trying to focus, and I get really frustrated in those moments. I lose my train of thought and find it hard to carry on a conversation when there's a lot going on around me. Some people are just highly sensitive to that sort of thing.

Message edited 12/22/2022 10:00:15 PM.

Posted 12/22/22 9:55 PM
 

Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it

Member since 5/05

30683 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Starting to think my son has ADD

Posted by mommy2be716

Personally, I don't see this as much of a concern in terms of an IEP. As a special ed teacher (i teach algebra), if his grades are good and he's able to put enough focus into sitting for exams, studying, and maintaining a high GPA, then he really doesn't need the IEP. I agree with an above poster about losing the IEP but requesting a 504. This is strictly just a document that allows your son to receive testing accommodations on assessments. This could be extra time, questions read/reread, breaks during testing, focusing prompts, etc. It may be nice to have for Regents exams and SATs/ACTs

I have learned that many kids focus in weird ways. He may "check out" because his brain is tired, and his phone may be a way to cope with that. I just don't know if I would assume it's due to ADD, though. While I don't know your son, I know through many of my students that if they have ADD in any form, it's pretty consistently there. Meaning certain parts of a daily lesson, and certain aspects of testing, are typically a struggle for students. If he's able to maintain high grades and can focus within the classroom setting, that's huge.

also just a side note: I cannot stand when there's stuff going on around me when I'm trying to focus, and I get really frustrated in those moments. I lose my train of thought and find it hard to carry on a conversation when there's a lot going on around me. Some people are just highly sensitive to that sort of thing.




Totally agree, and if you can get the medical diagnosis, he would qualify for that 504 plan.
This plan can get him testing accommodations, such as extra time, taking the test in a quiet location (with minimal distractions)
Talk to your pediatrician, and see who they recommend . Some of these places may have a wait list (Developmental Pediatrician, neurologist)

Message edited 12/23/2022 7:19:44 AM.

Posted 12/23/22 7:16 AM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

9508 total posts

Name:

Re: Starting to think my son has ADD

Get him evaluated now. He sounds very similar to my son and now my son is in HS taking ridiculously advanced classes and he's struggling because he can no longer just rely on his intelligence to get by. I am trying to put him on meds because he desperately needs them. I had him seen by a neuro psychologist and he has an appt with a pediatric neurologist. Hoping that I can speed up the process before his grades start to really suffer.

Posted 12/23/22 8:18 AM
 

EricaAlt
LIF Adult

Member since 7/08

22665 total posts

Name:
Erica

Re: Starting to think my son has ADD

Thank you for the responses. I spoke with his guidance counselor and she doesn't feel it's ADD. She will observe him in class more and speak with the teachers as well.
The one to one he's really good with. It's just a lot of conversation going on.
It's a tough age 13. He's still a bit immature and a bunch of his friends he sees kinda moving up and acting more mature. I know he'll get there and very happy for the most part. Just gets frustrated, which I'm sure all teens do. THanks

Although I picked up a bunch of his friends from the mall the other day and the ones he's closest with now seem just as goofy so maybe better to be with these boys. LOL

Posted 12/23/22 9:05 AM
 

MissJones
I need a nap!

Member since 5/05

22133 total posts

Name:

Starting to think my son has ADD

You can reach out to the Krasner group at Stony Brook.
Not all ADD is hyperactive. Distractibility is huge.
Our son was recently diagnosed and the difference is huge. To the point that he is so much more confident in himself.

Posted 12/23/22 6:12 PM
 

Sash
Peace

Member since 6/08

10312 total posts

Name:
fka LIW Smara

Re: Starting to think my son has ADD

Posted by lululu

Get him evaluated now. He sounds very similar to my son and now my son is in HS taking ridiculously advanced classes and he's struggling because he can no longer just rely on his intelligence to get by. I am trying to put him on meds because he desperately needs them. I had him seen by a neuro psychologist and he has an appt with a pediatric neurologist. Hoping that I can speed up the process before his grades start to really suffer.



I agree with getting him evaluated.

I am not sure if its ADD/ADHD but there is a possibility or if you sense something maybe there is a behavioral aspect that can be supported with therapy alone.

I can write a 20 page post about my experience with ADD/ADHD. My stepson and son were diagnosed with it and both were extreme opposites. I thought I knew everything about ADHD because of my stepson then came my son and it was a totally different experience. There is so much more to it than a kid getting bad grades and being very hyperactive. I felt like with my stepson it was very obvious. However, with my son it wasn't because he is a very calm kid when you meet him. There are a lot of layers to ADD. I pushed for a proper evaluation by a psychiatrist, then eventually 1 or 2 years later we made the decision to medicate because his grades kept declining YoY.

One thing I learned through this journey is every kid is different. I would get him evaluated and also think about having him talk to a therapist. Maybe its social or something else. If something is bothering him, a therapist can help. If he is well adjusted and he is just an introvert, they will tell you as well.

I will say both my kids exhibited bad grades in school. My SS his grades were always bad, my son started to decline slowly every year. However, my Stepsons grades stabilized with meds and at the age of 16 was taken off, while I don't see that happening for my son (he's 14). My son needs the meds to focus in school.

DM if you have any other questions.

Posted 12/23/22 7:52 PM
 

LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!

Member since 5/05

19455 total posts

Name:
L

Re: Starting to think my son has ADD

Does he still have the IEP? If yes, call the guidance counselor and ask for the Woodcock-Johnson IV test to be administered. In NJ they are on a three year rotation for testing. So he should be eligible this year.Test info this is a link that explains the test. Morristown hospital goreyeb children has offices that do add testing. If he does not have an IEP you need to send the director of social services a written letter, not an email to ask for him to be evaluated. In morristown there is lindamood bell. They can teach for ADD. There are some private schools that offer ADD instruction. I am going to say if he has had an IEP and they never brought this cancern up to you, you need an educational advocate and an attorney to handle your district.

Posted 12/24/22 7:31 PM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

9508 total posts

Name:

Re: Starting to think my son has ADD

Posted by Sash

Posted by lululu

Get him evaluated now. He sounds very similar to my son and now my son is in HS taking ridiculously advanced classes and he's struggling because he can no longer just rely on his intelligence to get by. I am trying to put him on meds because he desperately needs them. I had him seen by a neuro psychologist and he has an appt with a pediatric neurologist. Hoping that I can speed up the process before his grades start to really suffer.



I agree with getting him evaluated.

I am not sure if its ADD/ADHD but there is a possibility or if you sense something maybe there is a behavioral aspect that can be supported with therapy alone.

I can write a 20 page post about my experience with ADD/ADHD. My stepson and son were diagnosed with it and both were extreme opposites. I thought I knew everything about ADHD because of my stepson then came my son and it was a totally different experience. There is so much more to it than a kid getting bad grades and being very hyperactive. I felt like with my stepson it was very obvious. However, with my son it wasn't because he is a very calm kid when you meet him. There are a lot of layers to ADD. I pushed for a proper evaluation by a psychiatrist, then eventually 1 or 2 years later we made the decision to medicate because his grades kept declining YoY.

One thing I learned through this journey is every kid is different. I would get him evaluated and also think about having him talk to a therapist. Maybe its social or something else. If something is bothering him, a therapist can help. If he is well adjusted and he is just an introvert, they will tell you as well.

I will say both my kids exhibited bad grades in school. My SS his grades were always bad, my son started to decline slowly every year. However, my Stepsons grades stabilized with meds and at the age of 16 was taken off, while I don't see that happening for my son (he's 14). My son needs the meds to focus in school.

DM if you have any other questions.



Same. I now have two kids with an ADHD diagnosis. My son is so obvious. My daughter not so much. They are complete opposites so it manifests itself in different ways but ultimately it’s the same underlying issue. My son was able to get by for a long time so I avoided getting him evaluated sooner and now I am totally kicking myself. Getting an evaluation can’t hurt. I would just go to someone legitimate because one person we saw clearly gave the diagnosis to everyone who walked through the door.

Posted 12/24/22 10:31 PM
 
 

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