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DH involvement with kids

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LaGaTa
LIF Infant

Member since 2/12

165 total posts

Name:

DH involvement with kids

Helping my friend with a research study about a father's involvement with their children.
Anyone who is willing to participate she is interested in the following info.
How old DH and DW are
Are both parents FTWP or is one parent a SAH parent.
How involved fathers are with completing the following tasks independently.
Creating meals
Dressing
Bathing
Taking them out for activities (both spontaneous or planned)
Picking up after them
planning play dates.

Posted 5/20/18 12:58 PM
 
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blu6385

Member since 5/08

8351 total posts

Name:

Re: DH involvement with kids

Me and DH are both 35. We both work full time.
My kids eat like crap so there is no creating meals we make them the 7 things they like none of which is hard. I do it most of the time because I am home before he is. Weekends though he will do it no problem.

He dresses them in the morning while i am getting ready for work. He feeds them and dresses them however I pick out all outfits the night before so he just dresses them.

Bathing he does 99% of the time. DD however is old enough to bath herself so it’s really only DS but he still takes charge of telling them to get in. He also does bed time.

For activities I do that more he does it once in a while.
My kids really just started sports I do all of DD which is cheer and because I am team coordinator for DS we just started tball DH helps coach so he takes hi. When he can but again I get out before him and my job is more flexible so it falls on me most of the time.

He does the majority of the cleaning in the house.

We don’t do play dates much but if we do its me doing them. I also am 99% of the time taking them to birthday parties the time he does it if they both have somewhere to be so he takes one and I take one.

Posted 5/20/18 1:11 PM
 

TwinMommyToBoys
LIF Adult

Member since 12/16

2346 total posts

Name:

DH involvement with kids

My husband is 30, I’m 29.
Both of us work full time, however I have the flexible schedule so most of the child care falls to me.

Creating meals- he can do on his own and usually does for the family. I say cooking/ planning is 50/50 for the most part

Dressing, I do and will lay out all clothes. If I don’t he just leaves them in their pajamas

Bathing will bath the twins on his own if I am working late. Bathing is again 50/50

Taking the twins for activities on his own... never. I take them out 2-3 days a week for various things

He cleans up after them most of the time

Planning play dates never

Message edited 5/20/2018 9:42:18 PM.

Posted 5/20/18 1:15 PM
 

LuckyStar
LIF Adult

Member since 7/14

7273 total posts

Name:

DH involvement with kids

We’re 33.
Both work full time
I plan and cook all meals
He dresses her in the morning while I get ready for work. I lay the clothes out. I do her hair.
Baths are probably 50/50
He takes her out more than I do.
He drops off at Daycare, I pick her up
I plan play dates unless they’re with his sister and then he plans

ETA we both pick up after her (though we generally try to have her clean her toys up herself). I do a more thorough job than he does Chat Icon
I do her laundry and organize her clothes.

Message edited 5/21/2018 10:24:51 AM.

Posted 5/20/18 1:34 PM
 

Lauren82
LIF Adult

Member since 10/06

4580 total posts

Name:
L

Re: DH involvement with kids

My DH is 35 and I'm 36.
We both work full-time (I'm a teacher though, so I'm home all summer and have the ability to be home earlier on weekdays).

I create and cook the majority of the meals (he cooks maybe 1 meal a week that I have planned). He facilitates breakfast for my older two on weekdays (basically argues with them about how they aren't eating healthy enough).

I approve all outfits and dress my 4 year old.

I bath my 4 year old and my older girls are independent with this, but I brush and do their hair after baths.

My husband works overnights on the weekends so I do all of the activities on weekends (with help from my parents to get everyone where they need to be). During the week, I do the majority of the activities, sometimes he will pick up or try to bring my dd to swim team if he can be home in time.

I do all of the cleaning and laundry, with some help from my older girls.

I typically bring them to parties and drop off at playdates. I know the parents well, for the most part, so I usually do it for those reasons.

I think I do too much!!

Posted 5/20/18 1:44 PM
 

ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides

Member since 11/12

14481 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: DH involvement with kids

How old DH and DW are
Had dd1 at 34/33. Dd2 36/35. We are 39/38 now.

Are both parents FTWP or is one parent a SAH parent.
Dh works, I sahm, but recently went back part time while the kids are in school.

How involved fathers are with completing the following tasks independently.
Creating meals - not at all
Dressing - not at all
Bathing - yes, dh does their baths as part of their bedtime routine.
Taking them out for activities (both spontaneous or planned) - a little bit on the weekends, but mostly it’s stuff I plan.
Picking up after them
planning play dates. - not at all

Posted 5/20/18 2:42 PM
 

aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys

Member since 4/06

11426 total posts

Name:
Ali

Re: DH involvement with kids

Posted by LaGaTa

Helping my friend with a research study about a father's involvement with their children.
Anyone who is willing to participate she is interested in the following info.
How old DH and DW are
Are both parents FTWP or is one parent a SAH parent.
How involved fathers are with completing the following tasks independently.
Creating meals
Dressing
Bathing
Taking them out for activities (both spontaneous or planned)
Picking up after them
planning play dates.



DH and I are both 37.
Both are FTWP

My DH does:
meals (he's the cook of the family)
He does it all. All the things you mentioned. He does everything i do.
-he does the laundry, he cleans, he takes them to the grocery store with him, etc etc.
We have 3 kids. We have no help. It's me and him and it's 50/50.

Message edited 5/20/2018 8:28:52 PM.

Posted 5/20/18 8:26 PM
 

muffaboo
LIF Adult

Member since 12/10

3797 total posts

Name:

Re: DH involvement with kids

How old DH and DW are: DH 34, Me 33

Are both parents FTWP or is one parent a SAH parent: We both work full time but DH works for himself so his hours can be flexible

How involved fathers are with completing the following tasks independently.
Creating meals: Very involved--will grocery shop and cook

Dressing: A lot of times DH will be out of the house before DD's awake but if he is home, he will get her dressed while I get ready for work. I leave the clothes out the night before. I do not let him pick out clothes lol

Bathing: I do like 98% of baths. Sometimes DD will ask for daddy to do tubby and he will

Taking them out for activities (both spontaneous or planned): He takes her out a lot, both spontanenous and planned

Picking up after them: Ehhh, not his greatest strength

Planning play dates: DD doesn't have a ton of playdates yet but he will sometimes get together with his friends and their kids.

Posted 5/20/18 8:53 PM
 

MichLiz213
Life is Good!

Member since 7/07

7979 total posts

Name:

DH involvement with kids

I’m 35, DH is 37.
We both work FT

I cook during the week, DH cooks on weekends.

DS dresses himself independently, but I usually pick out the outfits.

We would alternate when DS was little. He showers independently now.

I handle activities/play dates/ etc.

Posted 5/20/18 9:17 PM
 

ChristinaM128
LIF Adult

Member since 8/12

4043 total posts

Name:
Christina

Re: DH involvement with kids

Posted by LaGaTa


How old DH and DW are
Dh is 40 and dw is 39
Are both parents FTWP or is one parent a SAH parent.
Dh is part-time adjunct professor and dw is ftwm
How involved fathers are with completing the following tasks independently.
Creating meals - no involvement
Dressing - minimal involvement (mostly helps with shoes)
Bathing - if we opt for showers, he gives them showers. If we opt for baths, I do baths. So figure 50% of the time
Taking them out for activities (both spontaneous or planned) - maybe he once took one of them to the playground. He can’t handle both out. I’d round it out to none.
Picking up after them - regular basis. Daily. But I do this too, it it shared.
planning play dates - never. This is me.

Posted 5/21/18 6:51 AM
 

BsMomma2014
Fly high little one

Member since 6/10

2662 total posts

Name:
nicole

Re: DH involvement with kids

DH is 35
I am 34

DH works full time
I work 3 days a week

DH is extremely hands on since he is the sole care giver when i work the 3 days. He does everything from waking them up to baths at night on the days I work. When we are both home it is 50/50.

Posted 5/21/18 7:02 AM
 

GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!

Member since 11/06

26792 total posts

Name:
Shawn

Re: DH involvement with kids

It's probably important to ask how old DC are as well.

I haven't bathed or dressed my 15 yo DS in quite a while.... Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 5/21/18 7:54 AM
 

ml110
LIF Adult

Member since 1/06

5435 total posts

Name:

Re: DH involvement with kids

Posted by LaGaTa

Helping my friend with a research study about a father's involvement with their children.
Anyone who is willing to participate she is interested in the following info.
How old DH and DW are
we're both 38

Are both parents FTWP or is one parent a SAH parent.
DH works full time, I'm a SAHM

How involved fathers are with completing the following tasks independently.

Creating meals
DH cooks dinner most nights when he gets home.... but lunches and breakfasts for the kids, and grocery shopping are on me. (although we sit down for a few minutes on sunday and kind of plan out what we want to eat that week....so he's involved in that, tells me stuff we might be out of, etc...)

Dressing
Our boys are 4 and 7--- so they are pretty independent with dressing, but I'm the one that gets out their clothes for them (working on getting the 7 year old to get out his own clothes...)

Bathing
again, this is on me most nights... BUT DH usually cleans up the kitchen, or goes on the computer and pays the household bills or fixes something that needs to be fixed... so he's usually doing something...

Taking them out for activities (both spontaneous or planned)
DH pretty much never takes the boys out on a spontaneous outing/ activity on his own.(IE: dad taking kids out for donuts on a saturday morning...) BUT he's involved in boy scouts with oldest DS so they do that together, and he'll take younger DS to swim lessons while i take older DS to basketball


Picking up after them
again, at 4 and 7, they pick up their own stuff for the most part. but if we get home late or something, DH will do it while i get them in bed

planning play dates.
we don't do play dates much... my boys are horrible with unstructured play LOL so we stick to seeing friends at structured activities like sports, scouts, etc.... but when we do playdates, its usually me that does them with younger DS during the day, or right after older DS gets home from school we'll meet up with friends at the park or something



Message edited 5/21/2018 8:11:21 AM.

Posted 5/21/18 8:09 AM
 

MrsT809
LIF Adult

Member since 9/09

12167 total posts

Name:

Re: DH involvement with kids


How old DH and DW are - both 36
Are both parents FTWP or is one parent a SAH parent - dh works, I stay home
How involved fathers are with completing the following tasks independently.
Creating meals - never
Dressing - occasionally
Bathing - occasionally
Taking them out for activities (both spontaneous or planned) - occasionally
Picking up after them - never
planning play dates - occasionally, but only with his friends' kids

Posted 5/21/18 8:41 AM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54921 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: DH involvement with kids

I have an interesting, non traditional situation as DH is a stay at home dad (retired nypd) and I work full time.

How old DH and DW are- DH is 47 and i am 44

Are both parents FTWP or is one parent a SAH parent. - I work FT, he is retired

How involved fathers are with completing the following tasks independently.

Creating meals- he does all the cooking
Dressing- she dresses herself for the most part but he will help as needed as will I- both 50/50 on that

Bathing- pretty much all me

Taking them out for activities (both spontaneous or planned)- he is very involved in this
Picking up after them- he is very involved with this too
planning play dates.- I do this, mainly because I communicate via text with the other moms

Posted 5/21/18 8:57 AM
 

Mags1227
Just a mommy ...

Member since 10/10

2665 total posts

Name:
M

Re: DH involvement with kids

.
How old DH and DW are- 39, 36
Are both parents FTWP or is one parent a SAH parent. - both FTWP
How involved fathers are with completing the following tasks independently.
Creating meals - I meal plan, he makes them, or we cook together on sundays for the week. he makes DS breakfast each morning
Dressing - DS doesit himself. whichever one of us has more time in the morning gets his clothes
Bathing - DS showers himself; DH usually gets his pajamas and towel ready
Taking them out for activities (both spontaneous or planned) - afterschool activities- all DH. planning- me, execution- DH
Picking up after them - Ds does it himself or I do 85% of it
planning play dates. - planning is all on me, but DH executes.

I'm pretty lucky to have a very involved DH. I like to plan out everything and then just tell the boys what they are doing. they do a lot of things together that I plan.

Posted 5/21/18 9:56 AM
 

Momma2015
Mommax2

Member since 12/12

6655 total posts

Name:

Re: DH involvement with kids

Helping my friend with a research study about a father's involvement with their children.
Anyone who is willing to participate she is interested in the following info.
How old DH and DW are:

I'm 32, DH is 36.

Are both parents FTWP or is one parent a SAH parent.

We both work full time.

How involved fathers are with completing the following tasks independently.
Creating meals:

DH has become more proactive about meals as he is on a specialized diet. Previously, I made most of the meals.

Dressing:

I wash, fold, organize clothes. I also pack the diaper bag and lay out outfits for DD if I'm not dressing her myself.

Bathing:

DH has given DD a bath one time. Ever. And I still hear about it. Chat Icon

Taking them out for activities (both spontaneous or planned):

He doesn't generally go out with her unless it's a planned family activity or out back to play in the yard. We just got a swing set, seesaw, playhouse, etc. for the yard.

Picking up after them:

I generally pick up after DD if she hasn't cleaned it up herself. I'm generally the one playing with her though, too.

planning play dates:

DD is young (2 y/o) so we don't generally plan too many play dates. We do have many friends with kids who we see, but generally everyone comes over or we go over someone's house as a group.

Posted 5/21/18 9:57 AM
 

mommy2be716
LIF Adult

Member since 1/16

2921 total posts

Name:

Re: DH involvement with kids

1. How old DH and DW are
I am 27 and DH is 30

2. Are both parents FTWP or is one parent a SAH parent?
We both are FTWPs

3. How involved fathers are with completing the following tasks independently
- Creating meals- Doesn't really cook, but always BBQs for us
- Dressing- He does PJs every night. I typically dress her in the morning because he is already heading to work by then.
- Bathing- He does the bath, I usually don't
- Taking them out for activities (both spontaneous or planned)- Doesn't usually take her out. Sometimes goes on the bike with her, but usually stays home.
- Picking up after them- Always. He also does all the laundry for us. I usually fold and put away DDs though because I'm OCD and have a certain way I want them organized
- planning play dates- N/A, she's only 2

Message edited 5/21/2018 10:14:08 AM.

Posted 5/21/18 10:10 AM
 

KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination

Member since 5/05

4431 total posts

Name:
Karen

DH involvement with kids

I am 48 and DH is 46. He works from home full time and I am a stay at home mom. We have two kids, 10 and 11, both with special needs.

I do everything for the kids. DH does his own laundry and feeds the dog (sometimes).

Posted 5/21/18 10:56 AM
 

Jenn79
One more?

Member since 2/12

2410 total posts

Name:

Re: DH involvement with kids

I'm 35 dh is 39. three kids from newborn -5years old.

I'm a sahm

Creating meals- we share this 50/50
Dressing-dh does not at all
Bathing-dh does not at all
Taking them out for activities (both spontaneous or planned)- dh does not at all
Picking up after them- dh does not at all
planning play dates.-dh does not at all

Posted 5/21/18 11:27 AM
 

StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!

Member since 6/10

21539 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: DH involvement with kids

How old DH and DW are: I'm 43, DH is 40

Are both parents FTWP or is one parent a SAH parent: We both work FT, but DH works nights, I work days.

How involved fathers are with completing the following tasks independently.

Creating meals: DH does all the cooking.

Dressing: 50/50

Bathing: I do the baths most of the time.

Taking them out for activities (both spontaneous
or planned): DH takes DD way more places than I do. On the weekends, we'll do things all together.

Picking up after them: I pick up after DD mostly.

Planning play dates: DD has only been on one play date and DH was the one involved in the planning because I was working.

Posted 5/21/18 11:34 AM
 

JME78
LIF Adult

Member since 11/09

3672 total posts

Name:

DH involvement with kids

I am 39, DH is 41. We both work full time.

We pretty much are 50/50 with everything. It ebbs and flows - right now my DH is on a deadline, so he has been working longer hours and I have been picking up the slack. He's done the same for me when I've had to work longer hours. DH likes to cook more than I do so when he's not slammed at work he does more of the meals. The only thing he doesn't do is playdates. It seems like all of the other kids moms set up the play dates so they don't reach out to him.

Posted 5/21/18 12:29 PM
 

alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18388 total posts

Name:
Allison

DH involvement with kids

DH is 38 and DW is 45.

We both work full time. So it all gets split. Depending on who gets home first etc. we also both travel for work so we have to do it all.

Play dates - we don’t really do. He’s in school and aftercare and weekends are for family and his sport at the time.

Posted 5/21/18 12:31 PM
 

Budjeg11
LIF Adult

Member since 4/11

2644 total posts

Name:

Re: DH involvement with kids

Posted by LaGaTa

Helping my friend with a research study about a father's involvement with their children.
Anyone who is willing to participate she is interested in the following info.
How old DH and DW are
Are both parents FTWP or is one parent a SAH parent.
How involved fathers are with completing the following tasks independently.
Creating meals
Dressing
Bathing
Taking them out for activities (both spontaneous or planned)
Picking up after them
planning play dates.


DH-39 DW- 41
DH works full time and is out a few nights a week (60 + hours a week), I work part time (3 days) and devote a few hours a week to my parents business (30+ hours a week)

Creating meals- DH is not at all involved
Dressing- Weekends when we are both home 50/50. The rest of the week 100% me b/c he leaves for work before the kids get up and I do bedtime 75% of the time
Bathing- When he's home 50/50
Taking them out for activities (both spontaneous or planned) - Very rarely.
Picking up after them- Sometimes
planning play dates- Never

Message edited 5/21/2018 3:39:54 PM.

Posted 5/21/18 2:20 PM
 

Mara1017
LIF Adolescent

Member since 5/11

696 total posts

Name:
Mara

DH involvement with kids

How old DH and DW are - DH is 35, SW 39
Are both parents FTWP or is one parent a SAH parent - both work FT
How involved fathers are with completing the following tasks independently.
Creating meals - depends on who is home. He has a rotating schedule. If he is off he will plan the meal. Otherwise it is on me so it is usually 2 or 3 days on him.
Dressing - Yes but the kids teachers kid around with me about how they know when I dress them and when my husband does.
Bathing - 50/50
Taking them out for activities (both spontaneous or planned) - both
Picking up after them - both (honestly probably him more than me)
planning play dates - me 100% of the time.

Posted 5/21/18 3:19 PM
 
Pages: [1] 2
 

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