toddlers and out of state weddings

We have a wedding to attend next month 2+ hours away from home. DD is the flower girl (2yo) and I have my 1yo attending as well. DH and I were told a year ago (when they booked the venue) that they will be having babysitting so we dont need to worry about anything and can enjoy our night.
Fast forward we find out the bride's side of the family doesnt want a babysitter - they are keeping their kids at the wedding bc they are 4 and up....so now the babysitting is basically not happening unless we plan it. They do have a hotel room reserved for a babysitter to spend the night...but we still have to find person.

what do you do?!?!

I guess more specifically my questions are:
- would you trust care.com to find someone to watch your kids in a hotel for the night?
- the wedding and the hotel are 30 mins apart - would you trust someone (care.com sitter or even a family friend that you barely know) to drive your kids 30 mins?
- do you/dh just suck it up and one of you leaves the wedding early to go back to the hotel with the kids when they reach their breaking point?

Re: toddlers and out of state weddings

would you trust care.com to find someone to watch your kids in a hotel for the night?

No

- the wedding and the hotel are 30 mins apart - would you trust someone (care.com sitter or even a family friend that you barely know) to drive your kids 30 mins?

Absolutely not, not in a million years.


- do you/dh just suck it up and one of you leaves the wedding early to go back to the hotel with the kids when they reach their breaking point?

That would have to be the option for me, unfortunately.
I am way too paranoid for anything else.

Unless the sitter was someone I knew, it wouldn't be happening.

Re: toddlers and out of state weddings

If you have a family member, I'd drive them & DC at a point at night to the hotel & let them stay.

You can do the same for a trusted babysitter (but you drive).

Re: toddlers and out of state weddings

We will literally be in this exact situation next year. Dhs stepbrother is about to get engaged and I know the wedding will either be in the city or nj. Dds will be 3 and 1 and would probably be in the wedding.

I would not trust anyone randomly to watch them and especially not drive them. I would ask our reg babysitter, or someone i trust, to come with us and obviously pay them and put them up in a room. Good news is you already have the hotel room part covered.

toddlers and out of state weddings

I'm in a similar situation.. wedding is in 4 weeks. It's a beach wedding and few of our mutual friends cancelled because of the change in plans and we are on the fence. We were told specifically children are invited, and then we got the invite for just me and DH, and they just mentioned that children cannot be accomodated. Anyway, if we do decide to go it will just be DH.

Re: toddlers and out of state weddings

Can you bring someone with you?

Do you have a family member or something that you can pay to come with? That is likely what I would do!

Re: toddlers and out of state weddings

toddlers and out of state weddings

Can a family member come with you and watch them at the hotel? That's what we did when my DS was 8 weeks old and my niece was 10 months old. My sister's SIL watched them and stayed at the hotel.

Re: toddlers and out of state weddings

Unfortunately we are having a hard time finding someone that is free. My entire side of the family is attending the wedding. DH has a small family (mother and 2 aunts)...and it happens to be the one weekend a year his aunt is coming in from Seattle so they are all going to be together.
our friends either have their own kids to watch or have plans (concert tickets, plans with their families bc its fathers day weekend).
We were thinking of asking a babysitter we know from long island, but we were driving down friday night and def dont want to pay for someone for an entire weekend. we could go Saturday morning instead but we barely have room for them to sit in our car with 2 carseats in it.

we do have my cousins wife's sister that may be willing to meet us there...i wont know until later this week...im just debating if its even worth it if we have to leave for an hour regardless to transport the kids.

Message edited 5/11/2015 10:14:21 AM.

toddlers and out of state weddings

Are the bride and groom from the area where the wedding is? Could they recommend someone that they know well that could watch the kids?

I wouldn't want them to drive DCs though.

Re: toddlers and out of state weddings

Re: toddlers and out of state weddings

toddlers and out of state weddings

I would just leave the wedding when the kids get tired.

Re: toddlers and out of state weddings

We aren't doing this now because we couldn't get a room, but our original plan for a wedding this summer on Shelter Island was to bring my cousin. We were going to get a roll away bed for my cousin and bring the pack n play for DD and Stef would have stayed with her during the wedding. Stef doesn't have a lot of baby experience but she was going to spend a few days with me before hand learning how to care for her and we would be right there if she needed us.

Can you bring someone you trust with you? Even if one of you have to run the kids back to the hotel and go back to the wedding, at least you don't have to leave early.

Or if one of the families is from that area can they recommend someone they trust. For my wedding we gave DH's cousins the name of someone who could watch their kids. We made sure she was available. But they arranged it and paid for it.

Also do your kids sleep through noise? When I was flower girl for my Aunt and Uncle my mom had the catering hall get 4 chairs, put them in the corner out of the way and I slept on them. So thats another option.

Re: toddlers and out of state weddings

First I was going to say ask the other family members/friends if there is sitter in the area that they use and trust, but you said that it out.
So I think I would just suck it up and both go until it makes it to breaking point, 1. They might surprise you and be fine. 2. Bring the stroller and maybe they will snooze/sleep. Once again they might surprise you even if the are not stroller sleepers.
Disclaimer: I don't have kids, but have been to about 20 weddings with kids in the past 5-10 years and have seen this happen.

toddlers and out of state weddings

where is the wedding?

toddlers and out of state weddings

I would not trust someone from care.com without meeting them and using them to babysit beforehand. And no way would they be driving my children. Ultimately, I think DH or I would stay at the wedding and one of us would go back to the hotel when the kids get tired. Then the other would get a ride back to the hotel with another guest. OR we would both leave together when the kids are done for the night.

Re: toddlers and out of state weddings

No way. Unless bringing my mom were an option I'd be leaving early.

toddlers and out of state weddings

If you bring someone can they just hang in the bridal suite with the kids at the end of the night? That would save you an hour of travel time that you would miss anyway and you'd be closer by if you have to use a sitter that you don't typically use. You can bring a pnp and maybe a movie and just let them crash for an hour or two. If they're in the wedding it seems like it might a reasonable thing to ask not to mention it will be late into the wedding when the bridal party probably wouldn't be in there anyway.

Re: toddlers and out of state weddings

Re: toddlers and out of state weddings

Re: toddlers and out of state weddings

My dd was the flower girl at a wedding in florida
This past October. Bride asked if we wanted babysittingand we declined. I would be too paranoid leaving dd with a stranger that I wouldn't enjoy the wedding anyway and DH felt the same way. Lucky for us the wedding was in the hotel so DH went upstairs with her when she was done for the night (I was a bridesmaid so I stayed). I would probably leave early in your situation as well. I just don't trust many people to watch dd, especially a stranger meeting her for the first time. Dd may surprise you, mine lasted until 10:30 dancing up a storm which is way past her bedtime and she had had a loong day

Re: toddlers and out of state weddings

Re: toddlers and out of state weddings

- would you trust care.com to find someone to watch your kids in a hotel for the night?

Never.

- the wedding and the hotel are 30 mins apart - would you trust someone (care.com sitter or even a family friend that you barely know) to drive your kids 30 mins?

No Way.

- do you/dh just suck it up and one of you leaves the wedding early to go back to the hotel with the kids when they reach their breaking point?

One of us would take the kids back to the hotel. If it was a wedding on my side of the family, I'd stay and my DH would leave with the kids, or vice versa. If I couldn't get a ride back to the hotel later, then we'd all leave together.

I know it's the bride's day and all that jazz, but my kids come first over anyone, even a bride on her wedding day. I would try to make the best of it, and bring their strollers (maybe they will pass out after dinner). But once they were done for the night, then the party is over.

Re: toddlers and out of state weddings