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Feeling so down :(

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Pinkisles
<3

Member since 11/13

2868 total posts

Name:

Feeling so down :(

I hate my job and I hate even more that I have to leave my son M-F 8-5.
I'm going to look for a new job in December (I have to have two surgeries in Oct/Nov so can't do anything until after that).

He just started saying Mama and now every time I walk away from him he cries and says "mama mama". This morning was the first time he cried when I left for work and I am just miserable.

He's with my mom and is usually very happy.

I keep waiting for being a FTWM to get easier, but it just isn't Chat Icon

Posted 9/23/14 9:19 AM
 
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18388 total posts

Name:
Allison

Feeling so down :(

It only gets easier if you let it. There will always be days where he won't want you to leave and there will be days he could care less cause he's playing with something that he is so into.

IMO unless you can stay home you at some point have to come to peace with the situation. Having a job that you like is def a big part but if you are hating the fact you have to work changing jobs probably won't fix it cause you will just end up hating that job too.

I found it was actually easier to leave when my DS was little. He is almost 3 now and some days he will say "mommy stay home and cuddle with me today". Those are the hard days but in the end I know me going to work is the best situation for my family.

Posted 9/23/14 9:51 AM
 

BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre

Member since 5/05

9320 total posts

Name:
Mrs. B

Re: Feeling so down :(

Chat Icon Chat Icon

I feel you. DS is 4 and DD is 9 months and I still cannot get use to being a FTWM.

I just turned down a job offer for a senior position and more $ because the hours were not flexible at all. There would have been no room down the line to adjust them so that I can spend more than an hour with my kids at night.

While I make decent money at my current position, I have decent flexibility to work 8-4, or leave early a day a week, come in an hour later so I can attend school functions, take them to appointments or enjoy a nice afternoon at the park with them. Plus, leaving the city at 4 versus 5 means a world of difference when it comes to traffic.

I just could not justify more money over more time with my kids.

Hang in there...it doesn't get easier but you find a way to deal with it

Posted 9/23/14 10:11 AM
 

ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls

Member since 2/09

20494 total posts

Name:
Me

Feeling so down :(

I'm right there with you. I've been back to work since H was 5 weeks old and she is 6.5 months now and it's still not easy. It's actually gotten worse. I started commuting from Ronkonkoma to LIC 3 days a week so I'm out of the house from 8-7 on those 3 days. I literally cry in the car almost every single time. The other 2 days, I work from home but she's in daycare b/c I can't work and watch her at the same time. I feel like I'm missing so much. I am miserable and sad.

I just wanted you to know you are not alone.

Posted 9/23/14 11:35 AM
 

Kristin78
LIF Infant

Member since 4/13

113 total posts

Name:

Re: Feeling so down :(

Posted by Pinkisles

I hate my job and I hate even more that I have to leave my son M-F 8-5.
I'm going to look for a new job in December (I have to have two surgeries in Oct/Nov so can't do anything until after that).

He just started saying Mama and now every time I walk away from him he cries and says "mama mama". This morning was the first time he cried when I left for work and I am just miserable.

He's with my mom and is usually very happy.

I keep waiting for being a FTWM to get easier, but it just isn't Chat Icon



I totally understand. My daughter is 1 and I still have trouble leaving her. I work Mon-Thurs and I am grateful for that but I am away from her for like 10 hours the days I work. Its especially hard the days she goes to the babysitter and screams when I leave :(. Hang in there that's what I'm try to do :)

Posted 9/23/14 11:36 AM
 

ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides

Member since 11/12

14481 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Feeling so down :(

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/23/14 12:03 PM
 

StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!

Member since 6/10

21536 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: Feeling so down :(

Yeah, honestly, I don't think it ever gets easier. I just know that we can't make it on one salary, I HAVE to work. It sucks, but I know it's the way it has to be.
You are not alone! Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/23/14 12:20 PM
 

Pinkisles
<3

Member since 11/13

2868 total posts

Name:

Re: Feeling so down :(

Thanks everyone. I know this is what I HAVE to do, because like many of you we can't get by on one salary. But it doesn't make it suck any less.

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon to everyone in the same boat.

Posted 9/23/14 12:22 PM
 

waiting4ablessing
Love my kids!!

Member since 11/08

4351 total posts

Name:

Re: Feeling so down :(

My kids are 5 and 2 and the guilt still gets me everyday i leave them. can you cut your hours a bit to spend more time with him? Thats what i did and just the few extra hours a day to spend with them makes such a difference.

Posted 9/23/14 9:02 PM
 

Pinkisles
<3

Member since 11/13

2868 total posts

Name:

Re: Feeling so down :(

Posted by waiting4ablessing

My kids are 5 and 2 and the guilt still gets me everyday i leave them. can you cut your hours a bit to spend more time with him? Thats what i did and just the few extra hours a day to spend with them makes such a difference.


I was definitely thinking about this.
By the time I get home from work at 530 he is overtired and cranky and miserable. It hurts me that the only Time I have with him during the week he's so upset.

I'm gonna look into part time work after my surgeries

Posted 9/23/14 9:21 PM
 

islandersgirl74
Love Being A Mommy!

Member since 6/06

5804 total posts

Name:
Michelle

Re: Feeling so down :(

Posted by StaceyWill

Yeah, honestly, I don't think it ever gets easier. I just know that we can't make it on one salary, I HAVE to work. It sucks, but I know it's the way it has to be.
You are not alone! Chat Icon Chat Icon



I agree!! There are so many people I know that say they long for that adult time. I just want to be with my daughter. She is always with family so it makes it somewhat easier but I hate leaving her. I really count the minutes til I get home, and this is coming from someone who loves her job. I think because she is so good it makes it harder to leave her. She's almost 20 months and is this little person. I can't imagine it dies get easier, but it's out if my control. No way I could stay home. Thinking of you.

Posted 9/24/14 5:56 AM
 

MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!

Member since 5/06

14562 total posts

Name:
Marisa

Re: Feeling so down :(

It's not 'easy' for anyone - Even those of us who want to work - it's still a very difficult work/life balance -
As women we have to make compromises and sacrifices every day that men aren't expected to give a second thought to -

It's never easy ........Even now, my older son is 5 and started K - so technically, even if I was a SAHM, it's not like he's home anymore anyway ........but I don't have the comfort and control and easy access in the school that I do with the daycare.

I will say, as they get older they have friends and they enjoy their time so you are less guilt ridden, so IMO it's easier.

When they are babies it's SO much harder to be away from them -
When they're still completely helpless and sweet and smell delicious and haven't started talking back or wrestling each other or playing in evey possible mud puddle they can find
Chat Icon Chat Icon

My boys are (were) with my parents Mon & Tues and at daycare Weds -Fri. They LOVE and look forward to their time w/ their grandparents, and then, are excited for Weds morning to see their little crew of friends at daycare.

Posted 9/24/14 10:03 AM
 

Pinkisles
<3

Member since 11/13

2868 total posts

Name:

Feeling so down :(

Today from the moment he woke up this morning to when I brought him to my mom, he would not let me put him down. I just want to go home and cuddle him :(

Posted 9/24/14 10:14 AM
 
 

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