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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7634 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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How to make new daddies feel involved?
Hi everyone! I just had my son on Friday. Like most newborns, he eats, sleeps, poops, repeat. My DH is amazing with him, but I can tell he feels a little left out since I am EBF. Any ideas on how to make him feel more involved? He does "play" with DS and cuddle with him so it's not like there is no daddy-son time.
TIA
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Posted 5/1/14 12:00 AM  |
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MrsG823
Just call me Mommy.
Member since 1/11 5570 total posts
Name:
S
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How to make new daddies feel involved?
He can do skin to skin with him. In the hospital a nurse recommended this to my DH since I am EBF.
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| Posted 5/1/14 12:04 AM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7634 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Re: How to make new daddies feel involved?
Posted by MrsG823
He can do skin to skin with him. In the hospital a nurse recommended this to my DH since I am EBF.
Thanks. My DH has actually done this.
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| Posted 5/1/14 1:08 AM |
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MarsB
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 1456 total posts
Name:
Martha
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How to make new daddies feel involved?
I also EBF and DH does almost all diapers and when DD was newborn he would take her after feeding to burp her and rock her. Now he is the master at getting her to nap. Also, once I started pumping he would give her a bottle once a day. That was around 8-10 wks.
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| Posted 5/1/14 7:10 AM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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How to make new daddies feel involved?
This is exactly what happened to us!!! My dh was really upset. Believe it or not what helped was during the nursing, even the ones throughout the night, he would change her diaper, I would nurse her, and then he would take her and rock her back to sleep.
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| Posted 5/1/14 7:13 AM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to make new daddies feel involved?
CONGRATS on your new bundle of joy!!!
DH would do most diaper changes the first few weeks and also sang to her and rocked her after she ate. The best was when she would slowly drift to sleep in his arms. 
ETA: in the beginning DH was responsible for giving her one small bottle of BM at night, but at 3 months or so she started refusing it from him. It was breaking their bond and DHs heart, so we went to BFing exclusively.
Message edited 5/1/2014 8:26:13 AM.
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| Posted 5/1/14 8:23 AM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7634 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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How to make new daddies feel involved?
Glad to hear I (or should I say my dh) is not alone. DH spends a lot of time with him when I am napping. I never wake him in the evenings as he is working from home and at least for the first few days needed to take care of me since recovery hit me hard days 2-4 post delivery.
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| Posted 5/1/14 8:39 AM |
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evenedan
Need a little sunshine
Member since 9/05 3843 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: How to make new daddies feel involved?
DD was also EBF, right from the beginning I encouraged DH to change diapers, rock her, give her baths, dress her etc. Basically, everything that wasn't feeding.
I never looked over his shoulder or critiqued how he changed the diaper or dressed her etc. I think that's key. I only gave help when he asked for it.
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| Posted 5/1/14 10:16 AM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to make new daddies feel involved?
Posted by evenedan
DD was also EBF, right from the beginning I encouraged DH to change diapers, rock her, give her baths, dress her etc. Basically, everything that wasn't feeding.
I never looked over his shoulder or critiqued how he changed the diaper or dressed her etc. I think that's key. I only gave help when he asked for it.
yes, all of this!!!
also, i always loved reading this
http://nurshable.com/2012/05/17/dads-dont-bond-with-bottles/
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| Posted 5/1/14 10:21 AM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7634 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Re: How to make new daddies feel involved?
Love this - thanks!
Message edited 5/1/2014 11:06:15 AM.
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| Posted 5/1/14 10:44 AM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: How to make new daddies feel involved?
6.5 month old EBF here and I joke that DH is the better parent! He does SO much with DS. Diapers, getting him dressed for the day, takes the lead with bath time, they cuddle. I don't think DH feels left out AT ALL. Especially during the newborn phase when I was recovering, I nursed and cuddled my little guy but DH did pretty much everything else, and their bond now is AMAZING
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| Posted 5/1/14 10:54 AM |
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Re: How to make new daddies feel involved?
Posted by evenedan
I never looked over his shoulder or critiqued how he changed the diaper or dressed her etc. I think that's key. I only gave help when he asked for it.
I totally agree with this. DH is still SO SLOW when changing a diaper  But I bite my tongue. DS is so attached to him and they have a awesome time together
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| Posted 5/1/14 11:07 AM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to make new daddies feel involved?
Just wanted to say congrats! I can't believe you had your baby already!!! 
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| Posted 5/1/14 11:23 AM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to make new daddies feel involved?
Posted by evenedan
I never looked over his shoulder or critiqued how he changed the diaper or dressed her etc. I think that's key. I only gave help when he asked for it.
Yes!! This is so true!!! Even when DH put DD in a purple top with red pants and orange socks and a green bow, I kept it on and secretly hoped she had a big barf!!! 
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| Posted 5/1/14 11:27 AM |
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MrsD121011
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 1460 total posts
Name:
Elicia
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How to make new daddies feel involved?
In the beginning my DH would actually sit with us while I nursed. He would bring me water, pillows, snacks, etc and we would sit together. It was a huge help and a great support sytem while also allowing him to be present and part of the feeding. He would also like others have said burp her and change her while I got ready or put myself back together. Those moments were some of the ones I will treasure forever.
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| Posted 5/1/14 12:21 PM |
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MrsD121011
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 1460 total posts
Name:
Elicia
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Re: How to make new daddies feel involved?
Posted by cateyemm
Posted by evenedan
DD was also EBF, right from the beginning I encouraged DH to change diapers, rock her, give her baths, dress her etc. Basically, everything that wasn't feeding.
I never looked over his shoulder or critiqued how he changed the diaper or dressed her etc. I think that's key. I only gave help when he asked for it.
yes, all of this!!!
also, i always loved reading this
http://nurshable.com/2012/05/17/dads-dont-bond-with-bottles/
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| Posted 5/1/14 12:21 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7634 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Re: How to make new daddies feel involved?
Posted by NYCGirl80
Just wanted to say congrats! I can't believe you had your baby already!!!
Thanks! It's surreal.
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| Posted 5/1/14 3:11 PM |
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