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dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..
Member since 1/06 14917 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
I know a lot of DD's friends started drop off play dates in kindergarten, but I just wasn't comfortable with that...so I was the annoying Mom that said DD could come play but I was going to stay. (One mom didn't like that and told her DD she didn't like me and that if my DD was going to play again she could only come alone!!LOL yes...my DD came home from school telling me that the girl told her this)
anyway, DD will be 8 in June and today I agreed to a drop off playdate. She is my only child so I tend to be overprotective I think. I am nervous but letting her go.
how old was your child when you started dropping off -with school friends?(not your own personal friends houses that you know)
T I A:
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Posted 3/16/14 11:02 AM  |
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PatsBrat
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 2326 total posts
Name:
Ms. Brat
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
We started in kindergarten, but I always drove my sons there, met the mom (if I hadn't already) and scoped out the house.
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| Posted 3/16/14 11:15 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
I am in your boat. I have one DD and she is 5. Drop offs for some kids started last year but I did not do it. This year she is in K, and I also did not do it. I don't think it's appropriate at age 5. I don't see myself doing it at age 6 either. I often think about this and I think I would probably allow it at age 8 BUT I would HAVE to know the family and who goes in and out of the house. Do whatever you feel is best, she's your DC.
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| Posted 3/16/14 12:30 PM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
I try to plan play dates where we can go somewhere. Kind of avoids the drop off issue. If the other mom doesn't want to come I offer to take the child. If you are uncomfortable why not just be the host. Then it is a non issue.
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| Posted 3/16/14 12:40 PM |
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stinger
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 4971 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
I probably did at 6. But I did and still do prefer for kids to come here instead of mine going to others hôuse
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| Posted 3/16/14 1:19 PM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
DS was in Kindergarten when we started doing that. He is my only one, so I was very worried, but it went well. We didn't do it too many times with families I don't know too well because, luckily, he prefers to play with friends whose parents are my friends as well. So now he has drop off with those families I know well 
Maybe you can start trying them with short play dates until you get comfortable?
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| Posted 3/16/14 2:53 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
Posted by Lillykat
I try to plan play dates where we can go somewhere. Kind of avoids the drop off issue. If the other mom doesn't want to come I offer to take the child. If you are uncomfortable why not just be the host. Then it is a non issue.
Right but if you host, eventually they will invite your child to their house without you and then what? You still have to say no, you don't allow that and someone can get offended.
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| Posted 3/16/14 4:28 PM |
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shapla79
Where Does The Time Go?
Member since 11/07 4619 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
DS is in Kindergarten, and for now, I only do drop-offs with other kids in his class whose moms I know well. Other times, I usually offer to host.
Message edited 3/16/2014 4:35:00 PM.
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| Posted 3/16/14 4:29 PM |
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dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..
Member since 1/06 14917 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
Posted by Goobster
Posted by Lillykat
I try to plan play dates where we can go somewhere. Kind of avoids the drop off issue. If the other mom doesn't want to come I offer to take the child. If you are uncomfortable why not just be the host. Then it is a non issue.
Right but if you host, eventually they will invite your child to their house without you and then what? You still have to say no, you don't allow that and someone can get offended.
exactly. I think of this too.
well...she went today, and had a lot of fun. I was nervous but made it through. Why do they have to grow up so fast?
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| Posted 3/16/14 6:33 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
This yr. she's 7 turning 8 in November and I have news for your disgruntle mom in your situation, if I didn't know her at 8 I wouldn't drop my dd off then either. I'd probably decline. My dd isn't going to anyone's house solo that I completely don't know. I just dropped dd off today at her friends that she knew since k. We know them well enough and I'm sure she's safe. You do t have to answer to anyone.
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| Posted 3/16/14 6:55 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
Posted by PatsBrat
We started in kindergarten, but I always drove my sons there, met the mom (if I hadn't already) and scoped out the house.
Just curious, so you meet the mom, scope the house and think OMG....then what? This happened to me last yr. I counted the seconds of the hr went back and got her. She was fine but I was like screw me.... It's hard to go into detail of what I mean as I don't want to go into detail but let's just say mom was way more laxed for my taste.
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| Posted 3/16/14 7:00 PM |
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dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..
Member since 1/06 14917 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by PatsBrat
We started in kindergarten, but I always drove my sons there, met the mom (if I hadn't already) and scoped out the house.
Just curious, so you meet the mom, scope the house and think OMG....then what? This happened to me last yr. I counted the seconds of the hr went back and got her. She was fine but I was like screw me.... It's hard to go into detail of what I mean as I don't want to go into detail but let's just say mom was way more laxed for my taste.
thats a good question. We always say we will walk in and make sure everything is OK...but what if we don't like what we see ??lol
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| Posted 3/16/14 7:36 PM |
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dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..
Member since 1/06 14917 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
Posted by PrincessP
This yr. she's 7 turning 8 in November and I have news for your disgruntle mom in your situation, if I didn't know her at 8 I wouldn't drop my dd off then either. I'd probably decline. My dd isn't going to anyone's house solo that I completely don't know. I just dropped dd off today at her friends that she knew since k. We know them well enough and I'm sure she's safe. You do t have to answer to anyone.
funny thing is...this disgruntled mom got like that and DD was only 6 and had just started 1st grade (this was last yr)and i didn't know her from a hole in the wall!!
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| Posted 3/16/14 7:39 PM |
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stinger
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 4971 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
Posted by dawnygirl25
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by PatsBrat
We started in kindergarten, but I always drove my sons there, met the mom (if I hadn't already) and scoped out the house.
Just curious, so you meet the mom, scope the house and think OMG....then what? This happened to me last yr. I counted the seconds of the hr went back and got her. She was fine but I was like screw me.... It's hard to go into detail of what I mean as I don't want to go into detail but let's just say mom was way more laxed for my taste.
thats a good question. We always say we will walk in and make sure everything is OK...but what if we don't like what we see ??lol
Chances are, god forbid, if something bad happened it could just as easily happen in a house that looks picture perfect. Go with your gut and eventually we have to let go.
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| Posted 3/16/14 7:43 PM |
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Millie3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1280 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
I have a child in K, we don't do drop off play dates. I don't see us doing drop off for a long time. I have nephews that are 4-7,8, and 9 yo. None of their parents do drop off, so this is a strange concept to me
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| Posted 3/16/14 8:51 PM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
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How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
Kindergarten. As a working mom, it's somewhat of a necessity.
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| Posted 3/16/14 9:29 PM |
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Jugglemom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/12 809 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
We started at 5. It's really the norm in our town/school. However, our town is fairly small and everyone knows each other even if not extremely well. All the parents are really involved and we all know each other.
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| Posted 3/16/14 9:35 PM |
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PatsBrat
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 2326 total posts
Name:
Ms. Brat
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by PatsBrat
We started in kindergarten, but I always drove my sons there, met the mom (if I hadn't already) and scoped out the house.
Just curious, so you meet the mom, scope the house and think OMG....then what? This happened to me last yr. I counted the seconds of the hr went back and got her. She was fine but I was like screw me.... It's hard to go into detail of what I mean as I don't want to go into detail but let's just say mom was way more laxed for my taste.
It never happened, so I don't know! My escape plan is to leave and then come back 10 minutes later claiming to have forgotten a dentist appointment. I never had to do it though. I feel very fortunate that my kids have chosen friends with nice families, but they are still young, so who knows what the future will bring...
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| Posted 3/16/14 9:39 PM |
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KangaMom
...
Member since 1/06 4593 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
2nd grade but that is only to a few parents we know very well and like
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| Posted 3/17/14 9:20 AM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
UGH, I wish never! My DS is 6 and in first grade and I am struggling with this! In K it was a lot easier - although many did drop-off playdates, everyone was understanding with me staying. Now, EVERYONE drops off! I even have babysitters dropping kids at my house when the kid doesn't know me at all and has never been to my house! This shocks me! My game plan this year has been when DS gets an invite - I have an excuse why he can't go that day and then I in turn invite the child to my house. It seems to work the first few times (sometimes more when it is a working mom or older mom with many older kids) but, then, I sort of feel like I am being insulting (like I don't trust the mom with my kid) and, like I am some freak!
My DS has been to drop-off playdates only with kids/families I have known for a long time and know the dynamic of the kids and the moms etc. I can't imagine honestly how I will ever just leave him at a stranger's house - ever. There are too many reasons to list! I do also use the OP suggestion of meeting places like the park, open play, bowling etc - but, I find the same moms that are up for this are the ones that would be fine with me hanging at the house. A lot of moms in my area have multiple kids, babyistters etc. and don't have that kind of time!
I'm looking for good tips as well!
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| Posted 3/17/14 4:15 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
Posted by itsbabytime
I have an excuse why he can't go that day and then I in turn invite the child to my house. It seems to work the first few times (sometimes more when it is a working mom or older mom with many older kids) but, then, I sort of feel like I am being insulting (like I don't trust the mom with my kid) and, like I am some freak!
!
See that's what I said above. Which is why I don't offer in return, b/c I feel eventually someone would catch on or feel insulted that I don't "trust" or send my DC to them.
I don't think there is any answer other than don't invite over anyones DC that you don't know well, if you don't plan on reciprocating. That's my take. Stinks but I can't see always having the child here but never allowing my DC to go there.
Message edited 3/17/2014 4:40:13 PM.
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| Posted 3/17/14 4:39 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
Posted by Goobster
Posted by itsbabytime
I have an excuse why he can't go that day and then I in turn invite the child to my house. It seems to work the first few times (sometimes more when it is a working mom or older mom with many older kids) but, then, I sort of feel like I am being insulting (like I don't trust the mom with my kid) and, like I am some freak!
!
See that's what I said above. Which is why I don't offer in return, b/c I feel eventually someone would catch on or feel insulted that I don't "trust" or send my DC to them.
I don't think there is any answer other than don't invite over anyones DC that you don't know well, if you don't plan on reciprocating. That's my take. Stinks but I can't see always having the child here but never allowing my DC to go there.
Honestly though, from experience, this ends up much worse. I have had some moms and kids ask me 4-5 times for a playdate with my DS. The kids will ask your DD in school why you don't let them have playdates. and, ALL the kids in school are talking about their playdates. Plus, if a kid really wants to play with your DD the mom is going to keep asking if your DD is free. And, at that point I can tell they are wondering if there is some reason you don't want your child playing with their kid. That's even worse IMO because you offend the mom and the kid AND you look like a nut. The other way actually takes a long time by the time the other parent starts to feel offended honestly most parents are glad to just drop their kid off at your house. And, I always invite the moms to stay - some do, some don't. Some kids I have had here multiple times without ever an offer in return or, where the mom doesn't seem to pick up on us being busy every time the playdate is at their house. Also, in the past, by the time the mom starts to get offended I usually know them well enough to tell them the truth.
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| Posted 3/17/14 5:36 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
Posted by itsbabytime
Posted by Goobster
Posted by itsbabytime
I have an excuse why he can't go that day and then I in turn invite the child to my house. It seems to work the first few times (sometimes more when it is a working mom or older mom with many older kids) but, then, I sort of feel like I am being insulting (like I don't trust the mom with my kid) and, like I am some freak!
!
See that's what I said above. Which is why I don't offer in return, b/c I feel eventually someone would catch on or feel insulted that I don't "trust" or send my DC to them.
I don't think there is any answer other than don't invite over anyones DC that you don't know well, if you don't plan on reciprocating. That's my take. Stinks but I can't see always having the child here but never allowing my DC to go there.
Honestly though, from experience, this ends up much worse. I have had some moms and kids ask me 4-5 times for a playdate with my DS. The kids will ask your DD in school why you don't let them have playdates. and, ALL the kids in school are talking about their playdates. Plus, if a kid really wants to play with your DD the mom is going to keep asking if your DD is free. And, at that point I can tell they are wondering if there is some reason you don't want your child playing with their kid. That's even worse IMO because you offend the mom and the kid AND you look like a nut. The other way actually takes a long time by the time the other parent starts to feel offended honestly most parents are glad to just drop their kid off at your house. And, I always invite the moms to stay - some do, some don't. Some kids I have had here multiple times without ever an offer in return or, where the mom doesn't seem to pick up on us being busy every time the playdate is at their house. Also, in the past, by the time the mom starts to get offended I usually know them well enough to tell them the truth.
You bring up some great points to think about going forward. I can definitely see what you are saying.
Message edited 3/17/2014 7:35:25 PM.
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| Posted 3/17/14 7:35 PM |
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Millie3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1280 total posts
Name:
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
Posted by itsbabytime
UGH, I wish never! My DS is 6 and in first grade and I am struggling with this! In K it was a lot easier - although many did drop-off playdates, everyone was understanding with me staying. Now, EVERYONE drops off! I even have babysitters dropping kids at my house when the kid doesn't know me at all and has never been to my house! This shocks me! My game plan this year has been when DS gets an invite - I have an excuse why he can't go that day and then I in turn invite the child to my house. It seems to work the first few times (sometimes more when it is a working mom or older mom with many older kids) but, then, I sort of feel like I am being insulting (like I don't trust the mom with my kid) and, like I am some freak!
My DS has been to drop-off playdates only with kids/families I have known for a long time and know the dynamic of the kids and the moms etc. I can't imagine honestly how I will ever just leave him at a stranger's house - ever. There are too many reasons to list! I do also use the OP suggestion of meeting places like the park, open play, bowling etc - but, I find the same moms that are up for this are the ones that would be fine with me hanging at the house. A lot of moms in my area have multiple kids, babyistters etc. and don't have that kind of time!
I'm looking for good tips as well!
I completely get where you are coming from. I don't get how parents let their kids go to a strangers house .
Message edited 3/17/2014 8:54:19 PM.
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| Posted 3/17/14 8:53 PM |
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nancy6485
So in love
Member since 10/05 3363 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: How old was your child when you started drop off play dates?
7/8 every so often. Now at 9, all the time. Most of the time we host, which I prefer.
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| Posted 3/17/14 9:53 PM |
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